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How to appreciate your things and buy less

By Marthe on September 9, 2010

I’m neither a materialist or a minimalist. I don’t have any specific philosophy when it comes to owning and buying stuff. However, I have come to realize that buying less → having to work less → more time to live. And I love life. I know you do to, so here comes my little guide to shopping less.

How to appreciate what you have and buy less

1. Understand why you shop

How does shopping make you feel? Happy? Important? wealthy? Imagine finding something in a store, or imagine buying something on your wish list. Does it make you feel excited? Why? As for me, buying things make me feel inspired, energetic, exciting and interesting. When I’ve been out shopping I usually rush home and unpack my new stuff. Then I use the things religiously for about a week. And then the excitement is gone.

Sometimes I don’t even unpack my new things and leave them lying around in shopping bags for weeks before I remember. And sometimes I just never use or wear what I have bought at all. Sounds familiar?

I believe it is the act of buying new things, and not the things themselves that makes me feel good. Understanding how it works for you will help you understand where to break the habit.

2. Find other substitutes

What else in life make you feel this way? As the main goal here is to free up some time, try to find something that is free. Reading blogs for example makes me feel the same way as I do when I shop. I get inspired, it boosts my energy and I feel interesting and exciting. Decorating and reorganizing my home does the same. So whenever I feel like shopping, I should start doing these things instead. Other things that might be substitutes are giving yourself a home spa treatment, making an inspiration board, creating and crafting something, work out++ Find something that works for you!

3. Clean out the clutter

It is so much easier to appreciate your things when you can see them. Get rid of all clutter, things you don’t need and items you have bought, but never used. (Bindu Wiles’ the Shed Project is perfect for this). Work systematically and go through all surfaces, closets and drawers. If it is hard to remove something you don’t really need or use, consider to give it to charity or hold on to it for a limited amount of time, say two months. If you haven’t used it by then, just get rid of it.

4. Display what you have

When you have some clear surfaces, put the things that mean the most to you on display.You want to be surrounded with things that you feel reflect and reinforce your personality. Put the clothes that make you feel good in front of your closet. Place gifts received from friends and family where you can see them and be reminded of their generosity. If you are happy with your things, you’ll not be as tempted to buy more stuff.

5. Work out your buying priorities

We all tend to think that “if I buy this – then I’ll be happy” or “If I get that – then I’ll be able to realize that dream” and so on. Remember that things themselves don’t make you happy. They might give some form of instant verification or spark, but real deep happiness you’ll have to find within. I encourage you to make a list of things you should stop buying. And then make a list of things you are “allowed” to buy that will contribute to real happiness, not just give you instant verification.

I’ll leave you with a section from this post on Zen Habits that I use as my personal buying guide.

“When you think about your things or want to purchase something new, consider these parameters:
  • It brings beauty into your life and stirs your soul.
  • It supports a passion or hobby.
  • It helps bring family and friends together in a creative, meaningful way.
  • It educates and enlightens.
  • It makes life profoundly simpler so that you can pursue more meaningful things.
  • It helps someone who is sick or incapacitated.
  • It is useful and necessary for day-to-day life.
  • It’s part of a meaningful tradition or a reminder of a special event.”

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Thank you to everyone who has told me their dreams, tweeted and posted about the Dream Experiment. I still need you to help me spread the word!  And remember to submit your dream for before September 13th!!

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Introducing: The Dream Experiment

By Marthe on September 3, 2010

The Thought Behind

I’m obsessed with asking people what their dreams are.

It’s the best way to get to know someone in an instant. And this is probably why we are so hestistant to tell people we don’t know and trust.

I have always been the kind of person that hold my dream tight to my heart. I guess most people (including me) does it out of fear. Of being laughed at, rejected or hurt.

But now that I have started to identify what my dreams are, I find it easier and easier to share them. Because no one has laughed in my face (yet). People have been incredibly supportive. And some people have helped me on the way already.

My dream is to never have to have a day job. To develop this blog and earn a living being a writer and a photographer. Being me. And travel the world. And most of all I want to live in my favorite place on earth, New York City.

Phew. Now that’s out of the closet, let me ask you; WHAT IS YOUR DREAM?

The DREAM

Can be so much more powerful if you share it.

Each month I am going to showcase a dream here on The Freedom Experiment. And each month I commit (and hopefully get you on board as well) to help move the dreamer along the path of fulfilling the dream the best as I (and we) can.

6 steps for success:

1. You tell me your most powerful and important personal dream. Either in the comments, on e-mail, twitter or any other way you like (I love getting dreams in the mail). Just let me know who you are so I can contact you and help you. Sharing your dream is totally liberating if you have been keeping it for yourself for long. Let me know if you just want to share without participating. I need your dream by «SEPTEMBER 13TH».

2. I pick one dream to showcase on The Freedom Experiment*. If you are up for it, we will do an interview, video, photos and other interesting things that will help people understand your dream.

3. You and I work on and decide how to help you in the most effective & efficient way.

3. We all help as much as we can. This is an important step, I can’t make it alone. But if you are anything like me, I promise you will get a real kick out of helping.

4. We keep in touch for as long as we need to see some results, which are proudly posted to The Freedom Experiment.

5. We all get some inspiration and good karma to work on our own life dreams.

* I will pick a dream at random, since all dreams are equally important. However, I reserve the right to put a side inappropriate contributions.

How I need you right now.

The more people who hear about this, the more powerful it will get. Please start already today to work on achieving the dreams of others. Tweet, e-mail, blog and speak about this (sorry for not having some fancy plugin that only require you to click a button or two).  Let others know if you think this is a good idea, even if you don’t want to participate yourself.  And send me your dream today! Remember that I need your dream by «SEPTEMBER 13TH!»

“When we are dreaming alone it is only a dream. When we are dreaming with others, it is the beginning of reality” – Dom Helder Camara


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Turn Your Life Around: 11 Great Tips to Make a Confident Decision

By Marthe on August 31, 2010

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We all battle dilemmas from time to time. Dilemmas are hard choices where it seems almost impossible to choose one option over the other. Like when deciding to pack up your stuff, hand in the towel and change your life around. Or like I just did, put my boring life on hold to study photography in a different country. This post is for those who can’t decide whether to quit your day job, leave your not-anymore-so-significant-other, take a year off to travel or any similar, truly scary things to do that will set you free. I give you 11 tips on how to make the decision.

1. Evaluate the Current Situation

Constantly evaluate your current status quo and what direction your life is taking. So many people wake up one day realizing they missed out on great opportunities because they take for granted that the current way is the only way. I recommend taking time to conciously evaluate your life at least once a month. I suggest making a list of all the areas of your life and them rate the area from 1 to 10 where 10 is perfect and 1 is disaster. For example financial: 8, social: 5, career: 2 etc. When you know what you are dealing with, it is easier to evaluate your options.

2. Live the Questions

There’s a powerful quote by Rainer Maria Rilke (Translated by Stephen Mitchell) that says: “Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart & to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. & the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer“.  Try to accept that you don’t have the answer to everything yet. If you had not been dealing with this overwhelming question, you would not have been growing, evolving, living. Just breathe and don’t panic.

3. Follow your heart

Or your gut. Or the voice in your head. The answer lies in you, you are the answer. If something doesn’t feel quite right, it is not right for you. The for someone else might just not be your thing. I can usually feel with my whole self that a decision is not right. Let’s say your body aches, you are tense and restless. It’s your body telling you that you are on the wrong track. The right choice is supposed to give you butterflies, make you jump with joy or sing out loud.  But most times it is just not that simple. Then you have to search a little deeper into your soul and see if you can find any signs.

4. Pros and Cons

Lists are powerful tools in a decision making process. Make a list of pros and cons for each option. Don’t limit yourself, write down everything that comes into mind, even though they might appear small and meaningless. Feel that you shouldn’t get the new job because your office doesn’t seem right? Or you don’t like the sister of this guy you plan to move in with? Write it down! The trick is how you weigh your pros and cons agains each other. Evaluate every single item on your list and make sure you weigh them according to your priorities.

5. Ask for advice (&don’t follow it)

Everyone should have a board of advisers. Go ask your friends, family, collegues, and even strangers. Just make sure that a) your advisers are not biased or can gain anything from you chosing one option over the other and b) that your board of advisers are someone you trust. If their advice don’t resonnate with you, don’t follow it. And under no circumstances think that you are obliged to follow any advice even though it comes from someone credible, famous, important or influencial.

6. Test it out

Is there any way you can test out a decision before making it? This is what job placements and internships are for! How about giving yourself a limited time to see if something works? I suggest testing out a new vocation or field of study for at least 6 months (or a year) and then see how it goes. If you are not satisfied, find something else. Don’t be afraid to fail, the biggest failure is not doing anything at all. I don’t belive time spent that don’t contribute to your ultimate goal is wasted, all experiences are valuable lessons.

7. Compromise or Find a different solution

Still can’t make a decision? Don’t worry, none of your current options may be right for you. Sometimes we are so focused on the impossibility of our dilemma that we forget that there are always more than two options. If you can’t make a decision you either have to compromise or move on. Don’t accept compromise if it won’t make you happy. Just go on and search for better solutions. If you want it enough, you will find a way.

8. Fire, Aim, Ready!

The most important step. Jump into the water with both eyes closed if you have to. Don’t be afraid of what is ahead, there is only one way of finding it out. Don’t spend too long on this point, once the decision is made, it is better to get it over with than to slowly and painfully take baby steps. (However, if you are extra scared and still not sure that you are doing the right thing, baby steps may be your thing).

9. Don’t burn bridges & close doors

Even though you are secure in your decision, you may eventually change your mind. Maybe you lose your initial excitement or something unforeseen happens. Don’t burn bridges and slam the door in your old boss’ face. Keep your options open by gently and politely turning others down. Resign your current status with dignety and respect, and you’ll see that if something happens or you realize that your new adventure didn’t outweigh your old reality, you’ll get your world back and more.

10. Change your mind

And do it with your head high. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. Admit when something sucks (read this awesome article by Danielle Laporte) and move on.

11. Go for it 100%

When the decision is made and implemented, when you are living your new life, don’t forget to live it 100%. Give it all you’ve got, don’t hold yourself back & live like every day is your last. Chances are that you are now happy that you made the decision and you wouldn’t go back for the whole world.

Have you made a big decision lately? How did it go?

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An introduction to The Freedom Experiment

By Marthe on August 28, 2010

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So, what’s the deal about this Freedom Experiment?

First of all, let me illustrate with a little story: As you may have seen, I changed the URL of this blog in July. The reason why I haven’t done anything else about it for so long is because I didn’t really know where to start. Because I want this new blog direction to come off great. What struck me this friday was that I have really been too afraid of failure to start writing about my freedom experiment. And not starting anything (well, not posting anything at all really) is the biggest failure of all. So here it it, dead simple, the start that I have been dreading.

The point is, hold on, I have not been free. My own fears of failure have constrained me, kept me away from doing what I really wanted to do. Ever felt this way? And this is what The Freedom Experiment is all about. Helping you become true to yourself and fulfil your dreams.

It’s about being free from restrains such as illness, obligations, ignorance, self-doubt, debt, posessions and all the other evil concept that drags you down. (I crossed all this badness out for us, if you don’t mind)

Lets replace it with the freedom to travel, learn, read, pursue your dream, dare to be yourself, do amazing thigs++++ The list goes ON AND ON. There’s so much you can do!!

Several times a week I will inspire you with wonderful how-to’s and thought-twisters and interviews with inspiring people. Juicy stuff is coming your way!

What do you want to be free to do?

See my own answer in the comments!

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Changes

By Marthe on August 27, 2010

The Freedom Experiment. Freedom. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? Isn’t it what we all strive for? Freedom for me means being able to try and fail, to win and lose, and to jump in head first. Into the unknown and brilliant future.

Let’s start right here and now. Over the next few days, I will start the transformation of this blog. First, I’ll work on the layout. I need to test some templates and do A LOT of changing around, so don’t worry if things look a little odd the next few days. I (hopefully) have it under control. Next, there will be some changes to the content of my blog. As I develop as a person, the content here will also change accordingly.

Here are some of the changes that will take place: I) I’ll start writing more regularly II) I will mainly focus on writing and providing my own content, not repost pictures and stuff I have found elsewhere III) The general topic will be all sorts of personal FREEDOM, although I will also write on other topics IV) The posts will be super useful and inspiring V) I will still be myself, which means all posts will be written in the same whimsical, inspiring, artsy kind of way.

I sincerely hope I can make an impact with this new direction, and I hope you still wish to be a part of my tribe.

Love, Marthe

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