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Do you remember the post I did on January 3rd? It was basically a list of hopes and dreams for the new year. Since we are already in June, I decided to go back and look at the list again, to see how far I had come. (Which is another story and belongs in a post of its own.) In some areas I have developed so much, while other areas remain untuched. Well, the point is, while I was looking at this list I decided to make another list. (What is it about lists?)
There are so many things I want to do. Some things are just impulses, some dreams are heavily influenced by others and some ideas come from the huge amount of media I consume. However, some desires keep reoccuring, but I’m not doing anything about them. Here is my little list of things I have always wanted to do, but haven’t done yet:
- Learn French
- Travel to India
- Learn to develop my photos in a Darkroom
- Learn to play the guitar
- Learn yoga and meditation
- Make a habit out of writing everything down in a journal
- Write a novel
- Submit photos and writing to magazines etc.
- To live in New York
This is just a list of the first things that come into my mind. If I started recording these things, I bet the list would be huge. But that’s not the important point here, the point is that these are things that I truly want to do. I’ve wanted to learn yoga since I was abot 14. And I’ve wanted to learn french since I first had some french friends in the summer of 2002. The urge to write a novel comes back to me even though I try to push it away.
What I really wonder is why I haven’t really commited to do these things yet. I have tried to learn french at school (didn’t work out), I have tried to develop my photos (only went there once), I have started two yoga classes (stopped going to the first class and broke my arm before the second one was finished), I have bought about a zillion journals (but never filled one with writing), have written about 25 000 words of a novel (don’t really want to finish that piece of crap).
I catch myself trying to excuse why I haven’t done these things properly, since I have no doubts about the fact that I really want to accomplish/learn all these things. I think what I really am afraid of is trying one more time. Some of the things I haven’t tried at all (like learning to play the guitar and submit photos and writing) are things I don’t dare to do because I’m afraid of failing. And at this point I don’t even dare dream of moving to New York.
Do you have any thoughts on this? What have you always wanted to do, but not done yet? What is keeping you from doing it?Make your own list and share in the comments!
Mausumi,
Nice post! I too am struggling with similar issues… I suspect we all are.
The point is, that failure, even though we fear it terribly, is how we learn and grow so that we can move forward with our lives.
Failure won’t kill or even harm us if we choose to learn from it, and so truthfully, it doesn’t really exist.
The real failure is in not trying.
Jenny, I agree that the real failure is not trying. Now that I have become aware of this pattern, I’ll really do something about all this and start working hard to reach my goals!
Your words are a great comfort and inspiration!
Great post! It’s always great to always have a list of goals to achieve. That’s a great list you have there! I believe people are only happy when they continue to better themselves with little goals like these. :)
I agree!
I’m really making this year the year of self-development! I can proudly report that I have joined a gym and I’m starting to get up earlier in the morning!
I think maybe you should just focus on one thing at a time and make a list regarding that one goal and how to achieve it.
I’ve been struggling with the same kind of thing and I think it was because I had so many things that I wanted to do that I wasn’t concentrating on any one particular item.
If you want to learn French for example I suggest going and being an au pair there, immersion is the best way to learn. I learned to speak fluent Danish in a year after living there and speaking with the kids everyday. I’d even suggest making sure the kids are too young to speak English so that you are sure to communicate in French.
Great advice! I’m always thinking about a hundred things I would like to do at once. I start a lot, but never finish anything.
Going as an au pair sounds frightening, but interesting! I’ll check it out!
wonderful post. i struggle with doing the same things myself; making excuses and putting off plans. i have a huge list of things i want to do, such as date a hockey player // own good luggage // live in amsterdam // learn russian and i think my biggest set back is also fear. it’s so easy to stay in my comfort zone. i think i need to conquer that, to take away the safety net, and make real commitments to my dreams. maybe then i would be more courageous about accomplishing both big & small goals. thank you for this inspiring post!
xo Alison
Alison, I’m glad I was able to inspire you! And all these sweet comments inspire me in return. I have decided to start looking into achieving my most frightening goal ever; moving to NYC. Is it even possible?
I had a list like this last Summer on my post. I want to do it again.
I do a lot of these poor habits as well, but my husband is so inspirational- he doesn’t have an idea, he has a success. that’s what he tells me everytime. even if it fails, the fact that i tried is still successful. that notion really helps, too.
Great advice! I have to focus a lot more on the road and not so much on the destination.. I’ll actually write this piece of advice down in my journal so I’ll see it more often. Thank you!
You know, I’ve always wondered this myself and have never quite found a solution for myself. I have all of these dreams and goals for myself, but with at least a handful of them, I’m just so scared of failure and of never accomplishing them, that I don’t put in that extra effort. I’m really not sure why that is that I’m so scared to even try.
I wish you all the very best overcoming this and working to achieve your dreams. And if you do find a “cure” for this little fear, please tell me! :P
On a side-note, I’ve kept a paper journal for about 3.5 years now and I’ve written every day since I started in January 2007 (I think I’ve only missed 4 days in those 3.5 years). Before I started, I hadn’t written in a journal since I was maybe 12 or 13, and ever since I started, it’s the greatest thing I ever did for myself. I love that I’ll always have complete documentation of my life and my thoughts. Rambling aside though, I really encourage you to start journaling since it’s on your list! :D
I am too scared to even try as well, especially when it comes to the things that I want the most (read: move to New York City). I haven’t even dared to start investigating visa and immigration issues, work and housing opportunities etc. I just know that it’s really hard to be able to get a work visa.
I’m afraid that there is no cure, but I’ll search!
I have started slowly with journaling the last couple of days actually! I’m not going to demand too much of myself (I think this also may be the reason why I quit before I even get started, I expect to be an expert in no time and when that doesn’t happen, I quit.) Therefore I have just started to write down thoughts, ideas, quotes etc It works so far! :)
I felt that many people are like what you said, scared of failure. I’m one of those people too. Sometimes I’m too much a perfectionist and I wanted things to turn out right in whatever I do. But as time passes by, I realized life is really too short for all these scared of failure things. While we still have the chance to do what we can do or we could do, we shall do it or we may regret because we don’t know what will happen in the future. And what actually motivated me to do what I wanted to do always is ‘There’s only one life and life’s too short’.
I’ve been a silent reader all the while, just to let you know I love your LC-A pictures (: That’s what made me follow your blog actually, haha!
I think what you say is important. Life is really too short! All these wonderful comments has inspired me to just jump into it! You’ll see how that works out if you continue to follow! ;)
Thank you for being a silent reader. And thank you for letting me know you are here! I really like having silent readers too:)
Gosh, I’m so far behind on my Google Reader that I just came across this post and giggled as I am doing a recap of my goals too. Snap! :)
I hope you achieve what you would like to, they are wonderful aspirations. xx
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Are you pressuring yourself to be really good at whatever you try immediately? I’ve experienced similar resistance, but it’s because I pressured myself to do it really well. I didn’t really give myself permission to start out as a beginner, suck for a while, then improve. Sometimes, for me, it’s about changing my mindset. It’s about starting and knowing that I’m not going to be very good at whatever activity for a while but just committing to showing up. It’s still really hard, but it takes some of the pressure off.