{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Caroline April 27, 2011 at 9:22 pm

I have to say it again.. i love to read your writings, it’s so inspiring and the things you write are very very familiar…

i often find myself thinking i am not good enough, i have to be better, thinner, smarter, more fun etc etc… so i run and fly and try to change, but then i end up so tired and even sad, but not a better person..

about 2 years ago, when i felt really depressed… someone, a good friend of my parents who also is a mental coach, asked me whether i loved myself… i found that a very difficult question to answer and told him that i am self confident, but that my expectations/ standards are high.. right, that was not an answer to his question… but even if i couldn’t answer that question then, it got me starting to think…

during this time i really started to understand that i always worked hard, trying to be the perfect student, employee, daughter, friend, lover… but always felt inadequate, insufficient… but that was my judgement, not someone else’s… it all came down to the decision to tell myself that i am good (enough) the way i am.. and also that the person i need to befriend the most of everyone is me… because no matter what happens, the only one that spends my life with me, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, all my life, every second, is me… it’s going to be a hard life if i don’t like that person..

so love yourself, you are good enough (and a great and inspiring writer) i can tell you that, but the joy of a compliment only lasts a short while, before you need to hear it again from someone else… while believing in you, standing up for you, like you do with this post, you don’t need others telling you you’re doing good, because you know, because it feels good, because you are good enough, way more than that, you are very good…

myself, i love to sing, i also sing in a band nowadays and i always notice that the more insecure i feel, the harder i try and tell myself that it’s not good enough, the bigger the chance is that i sing off-key… while standing there, trusting in me, enjoying myself and feeling confident that i have a nice voice, my singing is so much better… these are all small eyeopeners… loving yourself is the key to becoming a better person, because it gives you the freedom to show you with all your flaws, but also your talents..

sometimes i still forget, so just to remind myself i put little post-its on my mirror saying “I am good the way I am”

this has become a terribly long comment, but your story sounds so familiar that i wanted to share a bit of mine with you… it touches me the way you really show yourself and dare to be vulnerable, there is so much strength in that… it’s inspiring!

so thank you again… Caroline

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Marthe May 4, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Thank you so much for your long and heartfelt comment! I really feel a connection with you, so I’ll send you an email response instead:)

Just one thing I really enjoyed reading:

the joy of a compliment only lasts a short while, before you need to hear it again from someone else…

This is exactly how I feel! So true, external validation never lasts. We need to find our power sources from within!

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Ailsa June 29, 2011 at 6:35 am

That is a brilliant post. I just stumbled across your blog today and have been going through it, and this post really resonated with me.

I always feel that I can be better – I can work harder, work smarter, give more of myself, be the perfect lover/friend/daughter/sister,and sometimes it just doesn’t feel like it’s enough. And sometimes, it doesn’t matter and I still feel like I’m a pretty awesome person anyway.

So it’s a good, and timely, reminder that yes. I AM enough. So thank you :)

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