Truth, honesty, inspiration and a whole lotta dreamy living

12/08/11

This is a guest post by Caroline:

Inspiration board and dream vizualisation

 

Hi there all of you..

First let me introduce myself.. My name is Caroline, I’m 29 years old and I live in Amsterdam… I’m a big fan of Marthe’s blog, because of the beautiful images and words of wisdom, but most of all because of her writings. Her awareness, but especially the honesty of her writing is an inspiration to me. I can really relate to the things she writes, I recognise my own challenges, doubts, questions but also little wisdoms in her stories.

Marthe has asked me to write a guest post, preferably about dreams, her favourite subject. I felt honoured that she had asked me and started thinking what I should write.  It had to be something great and inspiring. But off course these thoughts caused my mind to turn blank and my pages to remain unwritten…

Until I realised that whatever inspires and touches me most, is honesty and truthfulness. So instead of writing a beautiful story, I thought I’ll tell you my dream, just my dream, how I found it and try to live it.

A little more than two years ago I found myself in an extremely stressful job with a not-so-nice boyfriend. Feeling unhappy – quite desperate actually – and restless, extremely restless and insecure. But I had no clue what to do – all I wanted to do was run away, but instead I worked harder and harder to keep everyone around me happy and to proof that I could do this. (Do what – be unhappy?)

Until one day I was having coffee with a friend and I told her how sick I felt, I could hardly eat, had stomach aches, a painful arm and I started crying as soon as I came home. I told her I really longed to quit my job and be free.  So she asked me what was holding me back, did I have any savings? and I did. “Well then”, she told me, “Don’t waste your time and money, use it!” And so I did, I quit my job the next day. (and broke up with my boyfriend two weeks later…)

Sounds easy and in a way it was. But it was only the beginning, because knowing what you do not what to do makes things clear.  Knowing what you want to do gives meaning to your life.

Luckily in that period I found three incredibly special and wise persons (besides my loving friends and family) who were near to me, but objective enough to ask me the right questions instead of telling me what to do, they taught me so many things, so many wisdoms, but most of all, they taught me to believe in myself. So that I finally dared to trust my intuition and talk about my biggest dream.

My dream is actually more of an image, a vision, but thinking about it, relights my fire, reminds me of where I want to go.

I imagine myself at twilight, sitting on a bench in the backyard/orchard of an old farmhouse, having a glass of wine, with next to me the man I love, I feel relaxed and loving.

This image reflects a whole life to me – I dream to live in this beautiful farmhouse, with the man I love and have started my own business, of consultancy, training and personal coaching. I also want the farmhouse to be a place where I teach and facilitate courses that relate to what I do and what inspires me; yoga, mindfulness, music and creativity workshops. I also imagine that I combine these courses with tasty and healthy meals, which I cook myself. Awareness combined with hospitality and music in a beautiful environment.  Everything that inspires me comes together in this dream.

So here I am, two years later, feeling happy, healthy and relaxed.  I went back to university to get my masters degree, which I expect to finish next year and after which I wish to follow courses for mindfulness and creative coaching. I also found a very nice job within a nice HR consultancy company. I take good care of myself and pay attention to the people and things that are important to me. I’m taking steps that will lead me to realise my dream and I am enjoying myself along the way.

Two important lessons I learned along the way:

1. Visualise your dream. My image may sound vague to you, but it’s very real and strong to me, whenever I have a hard time, I remember that image and I feel this fire of inspiration and creativity spreading through my body that urges me to go on, follow my heart, trust my intuition.

2. The second one is to not be afraid of the bad times. Honestly, looking back on my life two years ago, I feel a weird kind of happiness, because those hard times did turn my life around, made me a better person. And it reminds me of my strength – not my weakness – because at my darkest moment, when I felt I had hit rock bottom, I did not find anymore sadness or despair, but an incredibly powerful feeling, of strength, of love for myself. And I decided “enough!” from now on, I am going to believe in myself, trust myself and love myself. Because at the end of the day, the one person you get to spend your whole life with, every minute and every second of it… is you… and it’s going to be a pretty tough life if you don’t like that person … and that is the most important lesson of all.

So love yourself, love yourself, love yourself, love yourself… and if that seems to strong to you, just like yourself… you are good the way you are. 

Love Caroline

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Meekah August 15, 2011 at 12:15 am

Hi Caroline, thank you so much for sharing yourself….at 37 years old, I find myself in the same position as you (albeit after a divorce, having two children). I find myself back at the beginning…the beginning of learning to love me, WHOLE-Ly…I too am a visual dreamer/manifester! Just recently, the visions I have held in my mind for so long are falling into place, at times it seems almost effortlessly, but what I realize is that my internal self has finally aligned with my external self…..I look forward to seeing where we both go from here!!! Walk Forward in your truth, sista!

Reply

Kimberley August 17, 2011 at 2:41 am

An utterly beautiful post Caroline and it really mixes well with Marthe’s great posts on dreaming and living a fulfilled life. Thanks for your lovely words. xx

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: