Why Doing The Right Thing Can Seem Wrong


This is a guest post by Halley

Three months ago, my mom, who was terminally ill with cancer, was arguing with me about a party. For a woman with a couple of massive tumors she had a lot of fight in her and was in pretty great shape considering.

Her friends had been coming by for months, helping her out with doctor’s appointments, rides, medications, hugs on call, everything they could. So, having come back from New Zealand and arranged to be a 24 hour caretaker for her at home, I had decided to throw her a quiet party to create a happy memory with them all.

Cue, the disagreement.

Now, my brother and father thought that maybe, I should just listen to her wishes and follow them.

I was wracked with guilt, follow orders or do what my gut says is right?

A week later, my mom’s friends arrived with food, wine and love. They showered her with their love and care plus plates full of delicacies. I have an album full of photos that show my mom and her friends smiling, laughing and enjoying life.

She thanked me after for such a wonderful party.

Sometimes, life offers you tough problems – ones that twist you up inside and make you worried about the outcome. From the outside, it appeared that I was uncaring of my mom’s opinions and wishes, but on the inside, I wanted to show her how loved she was.

I did it because I wanted her to feel loved and happy.

That’s the key to doing the right thing – acting in a way that you can feel proud of, even if it looks wrong.


Halley is an international writer and blogger for the adventurous who want to tap into the joy in life. At the moment, she photocopies the hundreds of postcards from SOS: Send Love which is metamorphosing into a book of love, travel and postcards in a time of darkness. Find her on her blog. Life of Something New, twitter or email.


{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Ellie Di November 25, 2011 at 2:15 pm

This totally made me tear up. What a wonderful way to illustrate the struggle of those kinds of choices. I’m glad that you went ahead with it and that your mom was so happy about it afterward. Such a loving gesture.


Ellen Einkauf Photography November 25, 2011 at 10:12 pm

I love that perspective, thanks for the new mindset!


hena tayeb November 28, 2011 at 10:22 pm

A great gesture. Glad she enjoyed it. I’m sure she just felt she wasn’t worth the trouble.. you proved her wrong. She is worth all the trouble in the world.


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