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Source 1: kaylaramsay.com via Marthe on Pinterest. and flickr.com via Marthe on Pinterest
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I am a soulful, adventurous life coach and motivational writer. I write, share, help, search, inspire, crash and burn. Here I share my wisdom, musings and philosophy along with my curious thoughts and inspiration. Together we’ll make dreams come true.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Dear Marthe,
I write to you because I feel like you’ll understand. I’ve been reading your Blog for more than half a year now and I’m awed by your beauty, honesty, creativity and courage. It feels as if I’m writing a stranger and a friend at the same time. I hope with putting my thoughts to paper, with “saying” it out loud and from my heart, that it will somehow make a difference.
Your post about “being good enough” hit me and left me breathless. Because I don’t feel like I’m good enough, or worthy, of love and happiness. I’m not always unhappy. I never had depression or anxiety or other forms of a mood disorder (I’m a psychology major so I think I can truthfully say that) but, and that’s a big BUT, I think I’m still in big trouble, slowly sinking under water as I’m realising and comprehending my heartache more and more.
I’m 21 years old, I never had a loving (or non-loving) relationship with a man, and even though that’s not the issue here, it made me realise that I have a problem. I want a boyfriend but I’m the only one standing in the way. That’s because I feel like I don’t deserve one.
Even with my loving friends I feel like an imposter, like I’m wearing a thin mask and trying not to let anybody see how truly imperfect I am. I feel like I have the best friends in the world, but I still think that I don’t deserve them. I often ask myself if they just haven’t realised yet that I’m not good enough or worthy of their friendship. I fear that they haven’t noticed yet how awfully flawed I am, becaus I am, I am not perfect. That’s something I’m so damn angry about.
I hate the fear of someone finding out about it, about all my faults. I’m scared to let anybody see me for who I really am.
I’m not really feigning who I am, I’m just not showing my imperfections and I’m so damn scared of letting someone see all my flaws because then they would finally know that I’m not worthy, not good enough.
However, what frightens me even more is that I’m certain that this belief will make my worries real, that I won’t find love and happiness because I won’t let anybody see me completely.
I feel alone with this.
I hope you will have some understanding of what I feel and maybe you have some helpful words, even if it’s just to tell me that I’m not crazy.
Thank you for listening!
Love,
Elisabeth
Dearest Elisabeth,
I am e-mailing you.
Thank you so much for being so brave and vulnerable. Beautiful, beautiful, soul – you are not alone.
Much love,
Marthe
Dear Elizabeth,
No one is perfect. When you allow people to see you for who you are you will find the friends and boyfriend that are perfect for YOU. I know because I used to hide myself too. I was what everyone wanted me to be and I felt alone with myself. Fearing people wouldn’t like me. When I let myself go I finally felt free and the people in my life still like me. Most of all I found a man who truly loved me and our personalities blended beautifully. You are the one who needs to be happy with yourself and everything else will follow.
I am 60 years old and hid myself for 45 of those years. I wasted a lot of years. I hope you won’t make that same mistake. Love yourself first and so will everyone else that matters.
Lori
Thank you so much.<3
Thank you Lori for your encouraging words. I think the hardest part is admitting that I’m the one standing in my way. I’m the one thinking I don’t deserve certain things and until I don’t change this thinking pattern nothing else will change for me. Thank you for your understanding and for your honesty!