Remember this if you Want to Win the game of Life

22/08/13

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The smell of coffee, mixed with the continuous chatter around me calms me down beyond reason.

I swear, I sometimes feel more at home in a coffee shop than I do – well – at home.

I think this is why I instantly picked up on her energy.

A young girl entered the café with a piece of paper in her hand. I actually had to turn around to see her. But even before I moved, I sensed the shift in energy. And I instantly knew she was not there to buy coffee.

She joined the line, but looked even more restless than the decaffeinated businessman in front of her. Her she kept looking down at her paper in her hand, then to the staff, and then down again. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. And she kept touching her hair.

It hit me.

She’s here to apply for a job.

And I was right.

Her piece of paper had her photo on it. And her resumé on the back.

And in that moment, I felt for her.

Too well, I know the feeling of applying for economical freedom and approval.

So many times, I have been in her position, dead nervous – not because I needed the job, but because my self-esteem needed the acceptance. I needed proof that I was a hire-able and thus a valuable human being.

However, before her turn came, the girls courage failed her.

She turned around and walked out of the store.

And my heart ached even more.

For this girl who is trying so hard, but not really knowing how.

She came so close to be the girl in the arena.

Theodore Roosevelt famously said

“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.

At least the girl is trying to be in the arena, wanting to hand out her job applications, walking in and getting in line.

Facing her fears.

Are you?

Because, baby.

You have buy a ticket if you want to win the lottery.

If you want to be a writer, you’ve got to write. If you want to find a prince, you will have to kiss a few frogs. Fairy tales wouldn’t be fairy tales if the prince got the princess on the first try. But there also wouldn’t be a fairy tale if he didn’t try.

You may fail, yes. Failure is a necessary part of achieving. It will be ugly. It will hurt.

Guaranteed.

But if you don’t try, you will never know. If you don’t play, you will never win. And if you don’t aim for the top, you will not just end up on the bottom … you will forever be one of those fotball fans yelling instructions to the TV, or the annoying passenger who thinks he knows how to drive a car better than you.

You have to be the girl in the arena.

Getting your hands dirty, getting your makeup messed up, be the girl who never has perfect nails.

And until you are ready to get out there with all you’ve got, you will forever be in the gray zone between living and being alive.

But if you can give everything in that moment – like an olympic athlete in the finale, at the top of your game, friendly but ruthless – there is a fair chance you may win it all.

Just remember this.

Not making THE decision always means making A decision.

If you don’t make the decision to enter the arena, you are choosing not to win.

If you don’t start loving yourself, you are choosing to always be on the rocky road of love/hate.

If you don’t choose to forgive, you are choosing to hold the grudge.

If you put off starting on the next chapter of your life, you are choosing the present.

It’s not helping you to pretend the difficult situation isn’t there.

Not quitting your job will not make you love your present job any more. If you don’t end the relationship, you will be in this vague situation resembling love for the rest of your life. And if you don’t start to offer your services, you will continue to be the business owner without the business.

Likewise, those dishes aren’t gonna wash themselves.

Neither is the weight coming off as by magic.

Will you leave your live up to chance?

Didn’t think so.

Be the girl in the arena.

Take action, get started, make bold decisions.

If you fail, you will learn from it.

If you don’t try, you will learn nothing.

Be the girl in the arena.

Don’t put off the difficult questions.

If you make the wrong choice, you will learn from it.

If you make no choice at all, you will be stuck.

Be the girl in the arena.

Don’t hold back on love, guts and magnificent action.

The rush of a life well lived is worth it all,

nerves and defeat.

Be the girl in the arena.

Because nothing beats the feeling of making a dream come true.

Nothing beats the feeling of finally feeling the wind in your hair.

And nothing beats the feeling of knowing

that you risked it all –

and won.

 

Love,

Marthesignaturcropped

 

 

 


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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

nikkiana August 23, 2013 at 3:10 am

Thank you. I really needed to hear this today.

Reply

Catalina Zuleta August 24, 2013 at 5:06 pm

aaaaaaaah, lovely post Marthe. I really needed to read something like this today. Being happy and feeling better really requires effort. Thank you.

Reply

Kimberly August 25, 2013 at 12:36 am

Marthe, this is lovely. I now have the Roosevelt quote posted above my desk as a reminder to always be the girl in the arena!

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Eirini August 29, 2013 at 5:11 pm

Marthe,
once again you said the right thing on the right time.
Thank you so much for keeping yourself plugged in :-)
Trying is progress, I always tell myself.
Much love,
Eirini

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Ron September 3, 2013 at 3:51 pm

I like the thought: not making a decision is a decision. There is always the chance the girl noticed something about that particular establishment, went home and tweaked her resume to make it customized for that particular job. for example “BTW, I make the BEST [insert restaurant specialty here that she noticed on the menu] you have ever tasted.”

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Rachel September 4, 2013 at 8:18 pm

I feel like this was exactly what I needed today. Thanks so much for all your posts.

Reply

Celine October 23, 2013 at 3:03 pm

OMG Marthe I’ve missed this post this summer but today It was the perfect Day to me to read it. The Roosevelt quote spoke to me so hard but your words are a deep bliss for me right now. Thank you so so much !

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