{ 216 comments… read them below or add one }

Cam February 19, 2014 at 12:45 pm

Hello Marhte, so nice to meet you.
I’ve been following you on Twitter for some while now, but I think we never really connected somehow. Ya, know how it is.. crazy/fast Social Media life, hehe.

So, the coaching sessions Giveaway sounds really really interesting .. and could just be the perfect timing for me at the moment. Really really need a big change and move in my life. Don’t wanna get too personal/open right now .. but to give you a few insights: Stuck in a not beneficial living situation right now, as well as the wrong place/city/country, with health issues, and bad job situation ( got a lot of different work experiences, and kinda lost the feeling for what I really would love to do or can do next ) as well as not getting younger as well, hehe. Mm.. so I guess, that’s rounds it up a little …

Feeling excited and a little intimated ..

Thank you for listening in and providing you help with this new project of yours!

Greets, Cam xo


alexis April 5, 2016 at 5:36 am

i just feel really bad because i dont have my mom in my life right now and even when i try talking to someone it does not work and that hurts me really bad.


Cynthia January 1, 2017 at 3:38 pm

Hi Alexis, I have a Lexis too. She lives with her dad because we don’t have a place of our own yet. I’m working on that, but it seems difficult sometimes to get the simplest things done. My Lexis feels the same way that you do sometimes, in spite of our times spent together. She wants to live with her mom…but her mom is homeless at the present. I am so desperate to make good things happen in order to get my precious daughter under the same roof with me. It Will happen…We Will have our own new home soon…in case it is you sweetheart!


Debbie October 17, 2016 at 7:30 am

Thank You….This is a new outlook to take for my life. I’m in pretty good shape and not to old. When divorced a few yrs. back my mother and daughter put me into a old folks home so would not have to mess with me. Because of my eplipsy. I’ve cleaned house, yard and taken care of my beautiful family whenever needed. Here since I was 45 yrs. old. However, my high school sweetheart found me and I’ve always had a great time with and family loves him. He committed suicide last month and still don’t understand why. Thank you for the outlook.


Emily February 19, 2014 at 12:56 pm

Hi Marthe,
For the last year in my deepest darkest moments, I’ve found such solace and comfort in your words on the blog and on facebook. It seems like you know what I need to hear when I need to hear it the most.
At the moment, it feels like I’m facing change in ALL areas of my life and have been trying to see my way through: I’m looking to change careers as I feel that I’ve been following a path that isn’t true to the real me, I’m thinking of moving countries as I feel that my current location is challenging my sense of self, and to top things off, I’ve just been facing a significant relationship issue with my husband that I’m hoping we can work through. So all in all, just a few things need to be worked on!!
I’m going to be attending the urban retreat in London on the 8th, and would also love a chance to chat with you and gain some of your wonderful insight into some possible things I could make to get some change happening in my life.
Many many thanks for all the wonderful work that you do for us!
Emily x


R. February 19, 2014 at 1:19 pm

Dear Marthe,
I must say, your words and writing are a daily dose of inspiration and revelation to me. I follow you on Facebook and read your blog. Thank you for what you do! And also for this special offer here today.
I have looked into coaching as my present life would benefit from it. I just did not make the move yet to really allow myself to make space and time for coaching. But after reading your offer here today I feel like this is the right time to open up a bit:
After having graduated recently, having moved to a different city I am dealing with so many questions: Where do I belong (space-, relationship- and work-wise)? What is it as a profession that truely rocks my soul and heart? And how can I build a life with meaning, connection and the feeling I belong?

Thank you for your time !
Thank you for offering free coaching and the work you do!
Many greetings, R.


Layla February 19, 2014 at 5:57 pm

Hi Marthe, so my life is about to move forward right now and it’s really exciting. I’ll be going on a road trip around the US with my family for awhile and then move, and I can’t wait to go on a big adventure. But while my life is externally moving forward I feel very emotionally stuck. I feel like I am stuck in the same place I was years ago and I feel like I’m preventing myself from letting love and happiness into my life. Even though people will show me their love in the best way they can, I’m not able to accept it really. Also I’ve been relying on traveling and adventure to make the feeling of loneliness go away, but once I’m by myself again I just begin to feel so sad and alone all over again. I know I’m still young (17) but I want to really be able to be open and receptive and make a change for myself before I go away because I don’t want just have a temporary feeling of happiness and adventure while I’m traveling, I want it to last once I’ve settled down too. Thanks :)


Laima February 19, 2014 at 10:05 pm

Hey Marthe, I have been following your blog for a while, and i find it very helpful and how much everything feels similar to my thoughts. I went through big anxiety period in my life just couple of months ago. Still fighting it, but it`s so much better now. But now i`m struggling with the big question – What to do with my life? One year ago i moved to UK, (i`m from Latvia) and i have unfinished studies in college and i`m working as waitress. And of course i don’t want to live like that for the rest of my life. I want to have success, but i don’t know what`s the best thing to do. I just feel like i`m stuck here, and i`m afraid it`s not gonna get better if i`m not gonna do something about it.



Stef February 19, 2014 at 10:41 pm

I just read the first sentence and went “…yep.” so I’m forcing myself to respond. You’re offering a great thing here.

I’m in a very unhappy place right now. Far away from family and friends, not so great living situation, job problems, loneliness, etc. I’ve felt worse, but it’s not really getting better either. I think I know what I want to do, but I absolutely don’t know if it’s the right thing. What if I move myself from one crappy situation into the next, where I’ll feel like this again in a year’s time? What if i abandon a potentially great thing I’ve built myself here, what if this is not the solution?

I’ve thought about getting therapy but haven’t been able to actually do it, so… I’m just floating around here, not knowing what to do. And the people I speak to don’t really seem to be able to help either.

If a coaching session doesn’t work out, no worries. I enjoy your blog very much and always find something I can relate to, which is a great help already.


kchy14 July 12, 2015 at 2:14 am

Your n my problem seem the same! Let me knw did it work?


Melanie Kay February 20, 2014 at 2:14 pm

Hi Marthe,

My Mum died when I was 7 years old in an accident. I think that somehow I have locked away my feelings and I have never had a clue what I want to do with my life, nothing feels right at all. I have spent all the money I have had on different types of therapy, and so many of those therapists were happy to take my money whilst it being clear they didn’t know how to help me. I am 42 now, a single Mum and yes I agree with you that I need help, however I had given up even thinking about it because of the cost.


Jill January 8, 2017 at 5:44 pm

So true. The cost of therapy, coaching. Etc. Is not affordable for me, I’m out of work. No income, bad credit, behind on car payments, was with a guy for 12 years who completely RUINED me – financially,emotionally…I’m so messed up I can’t even function day to day. I don’t function, I can barely get my daily shower handled and just skip it sometimes as it is to big a task. I want to die. It’s hopeless, I’ve not lived life in 5 years! I do nothing. Everyone wants money, there’s no real help out there. Just people out to help themselves by wanting $125hr+ to talk. None really care. It’s all about the money.


Wendy Riordan February 6, 2017 at 8:41 am

Hey Jill,

One day at a time, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, don’t give up, do what you can each day, make yourself get up. Maybe try praying. :)


LS February 14, 2017 at 10:57 pm

Hi there Jill,

I have been where you are – not the exact same circumstances but similar – and I remember how hopeless I felt. It all seems a hundered times worse when money is tight. It took some time to climb out of it all but I did it and am in a much better place now. I second all that Wendy has said.

I prayed a lot, that is true – but sometimes we just need a practical ‘roadmap’ of sorts. Something to follow until we feel better. To me it sounds like it’s hard for you to function because you feel so bad and then feeling so bad makes it difficult to function and it becomes a vicious cycle.

I don’t want to tell you what to do but I will share what helped me. I started each day with a ‘One day, one thing’ ‘to-do’ list. And what I did was I promised myself that I would do one thing each day that was kind to myself. Only one. If I did more, then great, but as long as I did one thing for that day, if that was all I could manage then I promised myself: ‘Just do this one thing and then if you have to be indoors all day for the rest of the day, so be it.’

I was like you – even a shower was too much for me some days, I was so low. So my ‘one thing’ was to make sure I opened my window and my blinds/drapes. That let in some fresh air and much-needed light. Every day.

Once I had done that, I more often than not thought, ‘Hmm, I should clean this apartment.’ And of course, feeling so bad, it seemed like a huge task. So I would say to myself, I don’t have to do the whole apartment. I can do one shelf.Or clean out one drawer. Only one, and that’s it. Then i can go back to bed if I need to.’

That’s what I did, just one thing, and I built up slowly to being able to make that one thing a daily shower along with making my bed, cooking from scratch, cleaning up, walking outside (even for 5 minutes) etc. Building up slowly.

Over time, I began to feel better, and as I felt bettter, I got better and did better. I am in a completely different place now. The other thing I did and still do if I need to was to find a free helpline and just ring them to talk it all out. They can’t give you advice, but they do listen and it’s free and anonymous, and it helps you get it all out until you feel strong enough and the mental fog lifts.

I’m not sure where you live but organizations like the Samaritans are good. Also there are free Christian and other faith-based helplines you can call and they will pray with you and for you. You can call as often as you need to. I felt like I was burdening them at first but then I realized (and they reassured me) that that was what they were there for and I have to say it was a huge help.

They are not therapists or life coaches and I didn’t treat them as such. But if like I was back then, you are not in a position to pay for counsel, they are massively helpful in getting you through those first steps out of a bleak place.

You can have a better life, and people do care. Be well, and be kind to yourself, one step, one day at a time. Reach out to friends, family and your doctor, if you have a good one.


Rea February 20, 2014 at 2:18 pm

Hi Marthe,
I’ve been hoping and waiting for an opportunity to speak to you since I first contacted you last summer- there’s no doubt this is a gift from you and the universe! Because of my financial situation I wasn’t able to move forward with coaching, so I hope I get the opportunity to speak to you.

I have spent the better part of my 20’s in therapy, doing hard work for which I’ve benefited in ways I can’t explain. The past four years have also been the hardest years of my life, and many days I feel lucky that I made it out alive. Believe me, there were moments I wasn’t sure I could or would. Yet, because of those very times of despair and darkness, I’ve grown spiritually in leaps and bounds. At the same time, I am, and have been, stuck. Completely. In a career that makes me feel like I’m suffocating. In a town that sometimes feels like a cage. Perpetuating some friendships that leave me feeling hollow. Because of therapy, I’ve freed myself from my past, but I need help freeing myself in the present moment, which I realize is all I have.


pat September 26, 2015 at 6:27 am

Cant take abusive crazy parents any more.


Linda February 20, 2014 at 7:01 pm

Hi Marthe,
I am actually quite nervous to comment as something may come from it.
My life is okay, I have a husband I love, a job in a recession riddled country, and many blessings. But I’m not happy. I went through education thinking a world of opportunities lay ahead and when I came out of college, it was all a out finding a job that pays the bills. I live in Ireland, this was temporary for college but I met my husband and stayed. I love him a lot but apart from him I feel like there is nothing here for me. I feel stuck because the choices i make affect not only me. And even if they did, I think I’d still be playing itself. The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. Putting effort into something that may fail scares me. And all that aside, I cant seem to put into words what I actually want….


sara June 22, 2016 at 2:22 pm

this is just how I also feel….


Justine February 20, 2014 at 7:51 pm

Found you via Twitter & while I don’t normally comment – I’m thinking this is just too serendipitous. Currently, I work full-time for a college building a community & supporting it. I am good at this. However, I feel there is only so much more I can do (time, passion, budget-wise) within this position. I do not want to leave my job as much as I want to re-prioritize and put my community building towards building my OWN community. I have no idea what that should look like, what I can offer, where to start… but there is def an urge to use my powers for my own good, and less for my employer. Would love to brainstorm with you!

On a side note: I pick & choose blogs based on how they inspire me with the writer sharing their own experience — as opposed to some highlight reel of their life — and your encouragement notes sounds right in line with that. Hope that project is going well! xo


Megan Crehan February 20, 2014 at 8:31 pm

Hello Marthe,
First of all, thank you for being such an inspiration. I wish I could come to the London retreat and meet you.
Last year was a bit up and down. I got married which was amazing but my father in law passed away a month before. My mum, dad and sister moved to Singapore just after the wedding and my husband and I are living at home which has its difficulties.
Since then, I have been feeling quite lost in my life as I lost a great role model, one who believed in me most. I want to make him proud through setting up a photography business as one of the last conversations we had was him leaving me £2000 to buy a professional camera and use it to do what I love.
My husband has also been feeling very lost and I want to learn how to help him, and us, so that we can move forward, make the most out of our lives, buy our own house and start a family, all whilst being positive and happy, which it is difficult to be sometimes.
I want to better myself for many reasons, and believe you would be the right person to help me do it.
Thank you for reading!


Shenoa desjardins February 20, 2014 at 11:53 pm

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and all your personal tragedies and truimphs with us. Unfortunately, i have been stuck my entire life, with everything. Ive battled with severe depression since i was a teen, and my life has been filled with endless struggle and suffering. Words cant convey the excruciating and unbearable pain i have endured in my heart, often its really hard just to make it through each day. I dont have the natural energy, motivation, passion or willpower that most people have, i feel broken and defeated. I have worked with countless healers, therapists, self help programs, spiritual ceremonies, books and my own prayers and efforts everyday. And despite a lifetime of sincere efforts, things only keep getting worse, which is beyond frustrating and so disheartening. I am a really good person and ive tried so hard for so long and i dont understand why i have been trapped in a prison of pain or why nothing i try ever helps. In addition to the massive internal pain, i have had to deal with many external challenges, alot of traumatic experiences with loved ones and relationships, health, financial and living situation challenges, life just keeps slamming me from every direction. I am a singer/songwriter and i have so many wonderful gifts that i want to share with the world, but ive been barely able to just survive, i feel crushed and debilitated by endless sorrow, anger at being so burdened and trapped, and i know i deserve so much better than this. My faith in the goodness of god and life has diminished greatly, life has been so cruel and harsh to me, but, amazingly, i still have this tiny spark of hope, that believes in healing and that the nightmare ive been living can be transformed into the life ive always dreamt of. It is very kind and generous of you to offer free sessions, i hope i can work with you. Im never going to give up, even though there are many times where i feel totally helpless and hopeless, eventually i always pick myself up and try again. Reading your stories and seeing how you suffered so much but found your way out and actually had a real healing gives me hope. My email is mermaidblue2001@yahoo.com. Thanks for listening


Jackie September 19, 2016 at 5:39 am

Me too. Me too.


Linda February 21, 2014 at 6:39 pm

Hi Marthe,
Your posts are inspiring and today it was a welcomed reminder that I can find my way through this particular sticky spot, thank you.
This is the stuck spot. My business is based around my psychic/artistic abilities. I give readings, I paint soul expressions and I am a relationship coach. I am scheduled to attend a psychic faire in September, I borrowed money for that, now I feel the urge to be more visible. My intention is to build a potential client base leading up to that event. I realize social media is an option so I am building a Facebook Page. Anything on the computer is challenging, I am very slow. Money IS an issue to a certain extent.
Now that I have said all that, what it amounts to is I want to find venues without cost or minimal cost and I have no idea how to do that or what my options are. Soooo, when you offered a free session I thought “maybe” can’t hurt to try.
Thank you for your consideration,


Danielle February 22, 2014 at 4:30 pm

I think it’s great what you are doing, Marthe. I’ve been looking for a coach for a while now, but I’m not sure where to start or whether I need coaching at all. However, the feeling of being stuck as you describe it is exactly what I am experiencing right now. I am a freelance writer (which is what I wanted to do for so long), I have a great boyfriend, I live on a tropical island (which is home to me) and have my family and friends around. However, every morning is a struggle and I feel stuck. I’m not sure why and perhaps a coaching session would push me in the right direction. Thanks for considering me!


Silvia February 22, 2014 at 4:58 pm

Dearest Marthe,
I certainly am stuck in this moment of my life and I feel like I am torn between reality and incoming duties (I have just graduated and I am about to start working as a doctor) and the need of backing off for a while, in order to take care of myself and get rid of all the insecurity about myself/the future and of the fear of this new career of mine, which is almost paralyzing. I would really love to be more confident and to find a way out of this situation. Thank you in advance! Sending love


Michelle February 22, 2014 at 8:47 pm

Hi Marthe, I’m hoping that I might be lucky enough to receive your help. Last year has been. Really rough year for me; I was hospitalized with pneumonia for my 50th birthday, I had to declare bankruptcy, and I had to tell my 20 year old daughter that she couldn’t live with myself and her 25 year old autistic sister because of her toxic ways. I like my job, but not the nepotism in our 6 person office. And I’m hesitant to switch jobs because of ongoing vision probls that will in all probability leave me blind in the future. Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your generous offer!


Ashlee February 22, 2014 at 9:15 pm

Hi Marthe,

I really appreciate reading your posts, I can relate to what you speak of a lot. I’m feeling quite stuck in my career, and borderline miserable for years. However it’s a “good job” and stable and a decent income but I don’t think my heart is in it. I’m scared to leave and regret my decision or “make the wrong decision” even though I know there are no wrong decisions. I’ve been trying to sort this out for several months now, maybe even a year but I still can’t make a decision.
I’ve tried career counseling, trying to figure out what kind of job I like, which helped, and I learned a lot about myself but any new job would mean going back to school which I can’t afford right now.

Anyway, thanks for listening and for your consideration.
All the best.


kathleen February 22, 2014 at 10:46 pm

Hi Marthe.

It’s funny. This is exactly what I just sent a wish out for: a chance to get even just a little bit of guidance and coaching, without the cost.

So here’s my situation: Two months ago my husband, who I loved like crazy, sexually assaulted one of our kids. I’ve since discovered that he has been fighting emotional difficulties, low self-worth and anxiety for years. He’s been arrested and has lost his job, and I’m left with four kids, a house that I can’t pay for and that’s falling apart, and a job that earns very little. I’m working through sorting myself emotionally, staying strong for my kids, and finding a new path for our lives. Right now, what I really need is to clarify the direction that I want to take for a new career – I’m considering starting up a business, and am having a lot of difficulty overcoming the fear of making the wrong choice. I have so very many choices and decisions to make at this moment, with so much emotional weight involved, I would so appreciate any guidance or clarification you could give.

Peace and strength.


Betsi February 28, 2014 at 2:32 pm

Hello friend,
wow, all these messages and all these people needing your guidance must be overwhelming. We are lucky you are here to get us unstuck. That being said, I’ll try and keep this short and sweet. So, here is my sticky situation. All my life I have tried to figure out what I want and what will make me happy but to avail. I have moved so many times, and tried many different things, but they never seem to give me what I’m looking for. However, at this moment I am at a major crossroads in my life. I need to decide if I want to move across the country and commit to the man I love, do I want to stay where I am and go to graduate school, do I want to try and find a career instead, or do I want to take off and go have adventures in foreign countries. These are huge, life changing decisions for me, so huge that I feel a mental wall come up whenever I try to sort this out. I have pressure from all sides and I want to make everyone happy, but this desire has clouded which direction will make myself happy. I hope that you can give me some clarity and guidance so that I can begin to move forward again, instead of always moving laterally. Thank you sincerely.


Hannah March 4, 2014 at 7:55 pm

Marthe –

I’ve followed the blog a long time and share with friends fairly regularly. I, and many others, especially resonate with the feeling of ‘stuckness’ you’ve described here and I so appreciate your kind but straightforward approach to reframing, getting out of oneself, and thinking a bit more clearly.

Thank you for your work! (And for the record- yes, I am commenting to put my hat in the ring for a free session.)


eve March 6, 2014 at 10:55 pm

i am in a horrible place at present


Julie Evans March 13, 2014 at 6:00 am

Dear Marthe,

A bit about the place I am at now – I feel like I am inside a big, hollow, rubber ball. I can’t bring myself to go out and work, or even to work at home. When I do work, I don’t make enough to pay my bills and my kids have been paying my rent.
I have been underemployed for 16 months now, working only a part time job that does not pay well. I have been searching for work, and although I have had a few interviews, nothing has panned out. I don’t understand any of this. Everyone who sees my resume says that I have an excellent background, yet I am not getting the jobs. I am getting to be beyond frustration in the search for work.
I read your article with interest. I am seeing a therapist, and that has been helpful, but I’ve only visited with her four times, so it is still a work in process. Ihave been put on medication for depression, and it has helped a bit, but I am well aware of when it wears off. I seem to have lost motivation. I have no social life or friends to speak of. Two of my kids live relatively close and come to see me every other weekend, we also talk frequently on the phone. My oldest son moved away with his girlfriend, taking my granddaughter with him. I don’t know if I will ever see them again.
So, as you can see, this is not such a great place for me to be. I have a masters degree in Public Affairs, and 8 years of experience at a University, as well as numerous other jobs. But no one will hire me. I feel stuck in this life that isn’t getting better at all, and quite frankly, I don’t see it getting better.


Stacy March 18, 2014 at 8:44 pm

Hello, what an inspiring woman you are going to become in my life. I feel like I have chased away every single girlfriend I have ever had except for my sister. I am chasing my husband of 24yrs away. I constantly feel anger, guilt and jealousy over things that I once had in my life and I have chased them away. I use alcohol to diffuse and as a crutch to say mean and hurtful things to the people I truly love. I am afraid they will leave, my girlfriends already have…my husband has to be getting close. I am angry that my husband has gained 50lbs and doesn’t help himself. I Have let a lot of loving people go to keep my sister close, I know this is an unhealthy relationship with her…but I don’t know how to fix it. I am so afraid to figure out who I am because I may not like that person. I have spent countless hours trying to figure out why I am so unhappy when I truly have had wonderful loving people in my life for me to just chase them away. I know it is inside me, I know I need to dig deep and find out why, I am just afraid. I am so sick of feeling afraid to love/live…because of what or why or who.
thank you


Natasha March 28, 2014 at 12:06 am

Dear Marthe, thank you very much for your site and for sharing your thoughts. A friend has forwarded it to me today after we spent a soulful evening together and I shared some of my feelings.

Like you I have experienced therapy and it did save my life along with antidepressants. I am now off medication and am mostly stable. But the question of my career choice remains. I have studied until I was 30 and then worked for the last five years as a university lecturer. The changing nature of the job and my own changing nature are creating a bigger and bigger devide between what I do and what I would like to do. I am not a 100 percent sure as for the latter and have a lot of how questions.

A session with you would be most valuable. Please, get in touch.

Thanks very much, Natasha


Jacqueline April 3, 2014 at 2:37 pm

Hi Martheh,
My name is Jacqui and I have read your testimonials as well as your followers; I am inspired. I have been reaching out and trying to get on track with my life for years. I have lots of motivation, confidence, courage and strength and determination however i find it has been misdirected, attacked, and I have been generally unsuccessful. Through meditation and prayer i am intuitive regarding connecting to my good feelings as i have been living on autopilot due to the overwhelming situations, traumatized, and paralyzed emotionally. I need to be healthy, available, as I am a single mother of 3. Since my father dying and being in a significant car accident within these last few years I have snowballed which apparently has been a normal response to adversity, ridicule, rumors, and now lack of communication, trust. I find it hard to reach out. I am normally a happy go lucky type of person, who is definitely not a follower except when it comes to my religious beliefs.
My days consist of now getting my children 1/2 time. Physio/chiro/accuputure therapies, I enjoy doing Yoga and prayer and meditation first thing in the am. I used to be a runner but with my head injury its not the best right now. I work part-time I am an Medical Esthetician and Hair Stylist so 1 to 2 days per week. I have not been financially the smartest and had to sell my house due to an ex’s lack of legal obligation to pay for child support or spousal support,etc. I have found it difficult to have any sort of relationship as my ex is a narcissistic, pathological liar, and unfortunately they are the leaders in this small town my spirit is dampened and desolate, I know what is happening to me is not getting any better the more i avoid conflict the smaller my world gets and it doesn’t matter what i say or do people have judged me according to the men i have pissed off meaning they didn’t get there own way and now i am just a target and the dynamics in my family i miss my family, friends, my kids are caught in a web of a popularity contest which makes them choose there mom or father which is insane…my boys can’t stand the way dad is with other girls, my kids just keep it to them selves but they have 2 lives. Dad terrorizes the kids to know what mom is doing 24/7 and he uses it to destroy my life even more. I am tired my health is not the best as the stress is taking its toll. My kids wish i can change things but im tired of explaining, defending, asking, changing orders…my doctor told me to let it all go for my health and in a sense i have but nothing good has come from it. I would love to move back up to Barrie but legally i can’t unless i get a job transfer.
Im not sure what it is that you can do or say to improve my circumstances, i just know that i have to try.

Thank you ,


Kimbra L April 4, 2014 at 7:30 pm

Hi Marthe! i love every single post you havem they pretty much express in a really concret way how i feel.

As you mentioned in this post, sometimes you knwo what you have to do but you just cant.
Im stuck also in a ugly routine with financial problems, the recent dead of a familiar and in a job is no longer motivative, the relathionship with my boyfriend is getting complicated, he is in depression and he is sucking all the little energy i have, i cant seem to make him feel any better, i kinda wanna run away to another city, get a new job, get a new boyfriend, i know that would make me definitely feel better, or at least i think so….

But at the same time i feel like a coward for not staying on the difficult time and face them, as i have done this past 2 years, but im running out of energy, i cant wait for things to get better…but meanwhile im jsut a living zombie -.-

For now i think i should keep waiting to see how things develop …im kinda stuck and with not much to do for now….if i need the extra push to take a decision im thinking about seriously getting a coaching session with you….but i just find it odd to talk about my problems, i dont talk a lot about my eprsonal life with anybody. Haha but until i get the courage i will keep reading your posts! they are very motivating!
So thanks for that :)


Selaelo (Sly) April 10, 2014 at 1:13 pm

You are such an amazing woman and I am looking forward to meeting you. I went onto the net this afternoon with the intention to read more about how to stay positive, surprisingly came across your blogs/website and was so touched to know that I now have someone to speak to without being afraid of judgements. Lately I feel like I’ve lost myself, I feel negative, I don’t get anything done basically I procrastinate about every little thing. I feel I have drifted a lot from me, from reality. My gym sessions, My career, my school, my priorities/ plans for the future seem to exist in my mind only. I write steps of to go about rectifying but never do it. I have become a boring partner to my boyfriend, I am suddenly jealous, I am not reaching targets at work, I’m not passing anything at school, I lost focus on my weight loss, I need a life coach. I need someone to wake me up from this nightmare.


Alisa Grodsky April 15, 2014 at 1:39 pm

What have I done….
I ended a 25 year marriage. My husband then proceeded to kill himself. Two years later I got cancer. Did chemo near family. Now I have moved myself near family and become too untwined with my sister by letting her join eith me in a company. My life is unraveling. I feel more stuck then I’ve ever been and I can’t admit it. I am alone in so many ways. What have I done.


Claire April 20, 2014 at 11:45 pm

Dear Marthe,

I found your blog whilst doing a search for ‘feeling stuck’. Like some other commentors on here I also suffer from Depression, and have done since my teens, and am now 42 years old, single and childless. I feel there is an unmovable psychological block which has prevented me from making logical decisions in terms of career and finance, and also stops me from taking any kind of chances generally in my life. After years of knowing that my home city was not the right place for me, I finally moved to Italy for 6 months in my early 30s and felt like a different woman. But for no logical reason I came back here, and over the last years have made catastrophic and destructive choices, and feel more stuck then ever. In my 30s I still had some courage to take another risk and move away, and I did move again as I turned 40, but I came back again. Now I am too scared to take a risk. I feel that I am going mad with the constant thoughts in my head telling me what I should have done, and what I can’t now do. I would love to speak to you on one of your Skype sessions.

Thank you,


Geoffrey April 27, 2014 at 11:26 pm

it pertains my ” broken marriage “plz hlp,am sffrn and feel lyk am losing my memory!!!!!


Kim April 30, 2014 at 6:40 am

Hi, I just came across your blog today and have been reading as much as I can. My life is stuck in so many ways. Some were due to poor decisions on my part, others were due to uncontrollable circumstances. I battle depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and fibromyalgia, and have been teetering on the edge of despair. Right now I am underemployed, living with friends, and have a host of problems that keep getting worse, that I don’t know how to fix or even what could possibly fix them. I also just suffered a miscarriage. I want to have hope, for my (disabled) husband and my children. I want to pull myself out of the darkness. I just don’t know where to begin. I will start reading your ebook tomorrow, but I would love a chance to chat with you on Skype and get a better grip on my life. Your story is inspiring, and if you can hit rock bottom and still come up with so much success, so can I. I will start going to therapy soon, I just don’t have the means right now. Thanks for listening, and if skype is no longer possible I’d love a short email from you, just to know I’ve been heard. I’m sure you understand that feeling. Thanks for the generous offer of your time and abilities. I’m sure you’ve helped countless people reclaim their lives.


Lisa Maria May 1, 2014 at 1:05 pm

A great read, thank you. I have been single mum of young children been in this situation for a few years now. I am a lonely, stuck, still feel broken hearted over everything and to top it off I chose the wrong degree and career, stuck now more than ever because I’m a single mum, earn too much for benefits can’t afford to live on my salary though. Need to change soon or I will rot away but can’t see how I can when I have to be realistic, work to keep a roof over my kids heads, can’t just quit a job or pay for college.


Gabriella May 2, 2014 at 12:05 am

Hey there. So, I’m 24 and I still live with my parents. The thing is that, I have nooo idea what to do anymore. I feel as if I’ve reached the end of my rope. I feel stuck! I don’t do anything, I try getting a job but that’s tought to get. Even though, I went to school and am certified as a Pharmacy Technician. I really need help! I tried doing it on my own, bt I can’t. I don’t have a car, neither do I have my license. I don’t have much friends who can help that much. The ones that I have only give me advice, but then I tried their advice but It doesn’t work! I need help! I’m so tired of the way I’m living! I don’t want to be this way forever!!! I’m broke, I can’t do anything!!!! No car to try and go out and see if I can find a job or something. Family neither can help me because my brothers have their own family that they’re taking care of. I literally ran out of options. :(


Faith May 10, 2014 at 12:24 pm

Dear Marhte,

Last night I came across your blog thru information I was reading and I believe it brought me to you for a reason. I know that might sound weird but I do believe everything happens for a reason but we might not always understand the reason, But I do understand why I came across your blog. I have been saying for the last year I think I need to see a life coach. But my finances is what stop me in my tracks.

Let me first start off with thanking you for sharing your journey and helping others because by you doing this you show me and others that we are not alone nor crazy and that there is still hope for all of us but need the right resources .

Let me tell you a little a bit about myself I grew up in a broken home and still survived I ended up in a marriage that will soon be ending by the end of this year thru divorce and thru that broken home and my marriage I have realized I have been lost for sometime. I have three amazing boys and hope that I am teaching them all the skills they will need to have a better life. I am very grateful for what I have and have returned to my faith along with therapy thru my church and still have a lot of work to do which I know but I am still very stuck. I was always the person that made myself last for the sack of others because that’s the way I was raised….Well am paying for it now boy! I will be turning 40 this Thursday and feel I am so lost at my age. I hope you would consider me. Thank you for your time!


Victor Tomaine May 18, 2014 at 3:19 am

Feeling struck in the house and can’t get to a gym and swim a bit


Natalia Castro May 20, 2014 at 7:57 am

Hi my name is Natalia. Im stuck in a situation where my baaby got taken away from me at birth. Because of my drug problem. Baabys father bailed out on us since the beginning of my pregnancy. That took me downhill in every way. Now Im alone. No baby daddy, no baby , JUST THE DRUG . I feel helpless.


Liz May 22, 2014 at 2:20 am

Hi there, I may be late for this, but I’ll give it a try. Here’s the summary of my story.
Current situation: No money, No job, No friends, No boyfriend (never had in 38 years of my life), No family support. Lost, confused, overwhelmed, and stuck.
I never felt worthy and I never felt safe to position myself and would always be the last stand in all my areas of my life. I never had a fulfilling job, never had a meaningful relationship, never had a real friend, have always received the poorest treatment in family, and ended up completely alone with not a single person I could call a friend, a judgmental family who always sees me as a problematic person after carrying the heaviest burden of the family while they get on with their lives, a collection of stories of abusive friends and a couple of pathetic “relationships” (flings). Summing up, never succeed in any area of my life. None whatsoever. I never had a Life. As simple as that. And now I’m done with it.
The fact is that I have already worked on finding out the roots of the causes and I am aware of how and where it came from, but cannot seem to move out from this whole pattern.
I know I need to prioritize my needs, work on my self-esteem, take responsibility for my life, get out of my comfort zone and be out there. I have attended countless seminars on self-development, read many books and studied all the mechanisms on the subject but I feel trapped, energetically drained and tired. I feel paralyzed and imprisoned. I have been unemployed for over 2 years and just ran out of all my savings from costly bills mostly from expenses of ill mother, that are shared equally with sister’s who earn high salaries. My family does not have a sense of support and it’s all a matter of paying the bills. I feel I have a lot of built up resentment for always supporting everyone and getting nothing in return other than a poor treatment while watching them being their best self for others.
I know I am a typical case, but if you have any ideas for improvement I would love to hear them.
Thank you.


Ava June 1, 2014 at 6:53 pm

I just came across your blog and it really spoke to me.
I am heartened by your story and that you turned your life around.
I am really hoping to do the same and I’ve been trying very hard, but I am realising that I can’t do this alone now, and I am seeking help.
I was made redundant recently. I have had ME for several years, I was working part time, the job wasn’t right for me though. I hoped to get well enough to support myself while training for a new occupation, I have some ideas about what I want to do.
However I am really blocked from doing anything. I had a bad childhood and especially since I’ve had ME I find it harder and harder to let anyone in. My mum hurt me very badly and I can’t forgive her, and I’m finding it so hard to make any steps because I’m now so afraid of people and getting out there. Any interactions with people seem to hurt me now, I just can’t let anyone near and I can’t let anyone close at all. I’m alone and isolating myself…I don’t even know why.


faith July 1, 2014 at 4:47 pm

hi ! i need someone to talk. i am 30 and have to marry someone….arranged by my family…even i hate that person. i don’t want this. but I’m 30. and i’m already overage to get marry. i don’t think that i would be able to live in this compromise. please some one who can help me ..what should i do? a marriage that would lead to divorce in 6 months or should i remain single and feel miserable and alone? i would be alone in either way.


MariannaG21 August 25, 2015 at 9:25 am

It sucks both ways. You are not very old. I have a lot of friends that married over 30. Put it this way. Even an unhappy marriage will give you kids and you will not be alone. If you stay alone maybe you will be independent and you will not have to put up with an unhappy marriage. Go for the kids not for the man


MariannaG21 August 25, 2015 at 9:31 am

Did you marry? How do you feel now.


Angie July 21, 2014 at 2:45 am

I’m feeling so stuck. Would love a free session. Can’t afford anything more now…kind of why I feel stuck.


Robert August 4, 2014 at 11:31 pm

Feeling lonely, would like to wake up to a sweet smile everyday, feeling stuck because I don’t want to work sitting on my ass everyday in front of that computer, feeling stuck because I don’t have the answers I need to reach finacial freedom in the next 5 years, feeling stuck because of a multiple variable conflict between my goals, the things I love to do, helping others, family, health, which then feels like an overwhelming tornado of doubt and fear and uncertainty in my head, another conflict between saying only positive things and speaking my mind in social settings makes me uneasy, I try to not judge people and I am good at it but in my heads thoughts I do judge appearance and it’s hard for me to stop or silence it, took a good job even like the potential knowledge gained, potential position and salary from it but don’t enjoy the daily commitment and lack of everyday freedom. I’m stuck because I want to be doing what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life now so that I don’t waste anymore time. I don’t know or follow you but I trust the google gods in their positioning of your post to my search that maybe for some reason you may help me find my way. As always I am very grateful for the time you took to read my comment and if showing gratitude in actions is more powerful than I’ll consider that for the future. 30 is a great time to get married.


J September 14, 2014 at 11:20 pm


I have been off work and on disability for 3 years now due to chronic depression, anxiety, lower back pain, insomnia, mid-life and existential crisis and lastly, PTSD from sexual abuse and incest in childhood by my father, a medical professional during his mid-life crisis. Feeling lost, scared, isolated, bored, low energy, frustrated even angry at myself, friends, society, my employer and father. I feel I am wasting my life…better yet, what I conceived of ‘my’, a life until now just isn’t working anymore and I don’t know how to get out of this rut I am in. Furthermore, I have been victimized by a recent home robbery in April, so I had to find a new home, move, renovate old house and put it on the market which added ++ stress to my life. The later rehashed deep seated feelings of being totally violated, unsafe, vulnerable and untrustworthiness of everyone. I have pushed everyone away in order to protect myself. Yep, I am in a rut and need help. All advice would help. Thanks.


nicole September 15, 2014 at 6:12 pm

Controlling spouse


VINOTH ANTONY November 18, 2014 at 7:14 pm

Everything is possible as you said. I’m living with that words inside me. I believe. but I dono how to execute.
I think girls will b the major coming with these probs. haha.. Am a guy aged 22 from India. Rural India. I mean I’m from such a part in India. Near the western ghats. A beautiful place to live. wild animals are a gift to us. I love wildlife photography too. You should give a visit to my place if possible, such a scene of rain forest. Eventhough I’m stuck.
I’m such a reserved type from my childhood and I grew up without any kind of awareness about what is goin on in earth. From my parent’s point of view, they did everything they could. We are from a poor background and as per the Indian conditions, one must study the book to shine in future. I mean “study” not to learn. but for my mistake, I dint studied. I learnt things. I have finished my bachelors degree in Electrical and Electronics engineering. I chose this because of the urge to learn those which are quite interesting for me since my childhood, I amazed by seeing d production of electricity in western ghats of India.
But now I’m jobless. because of the bloody politics in India, education became quite a interesting business for the responsible leaders. In college too, I continued to study instead of learning without proper guidance or without knowing proper usage of internet. I have made best friends in college. I have found my love in college. I decided to change Indian politics from sitting before the lectures of electronics. then I read biographies of che guvera, he became my hero and I started to preach him in my college. Read my national leader’s biography “My experiments with truth” which are things changed me..
But now I m stuck in home.
I need some money to begin my career. I dono how to make d shit of non living papers named as “money”.
My dad got retired from his job and forcing me to be in home and there is a huge generation gap here in India. kids are thinking smarter.
I hope yu understand. all my friends somehow managed to get a job. Many are working as customer supports for americans by working in night shifts in India. Shit. yearly 9 lakh engineers are passing out here. doing various jobs, without knowing wat they had studied. I’m jobless. I have many ideas running inside me. I’m sleeping till 2 pm. watching movies, reading some books. but always in home. am completely stressed. thrown away my girl whom I loved d most. even now she s coming after me, begging me to be as like past. but I can’t. I still love her. but I don need that shit. dono why I’m thinking like this. I love her a lot.
please show some way to go ahead in my life. I need some guidance. I think you will help me. I don’t want to waste any more time by being in home.


Kennedy November 21, 2014 at 2:58 am

I have come across your blog a number of times –today I was searching the internet, as I frequently do, for information, guidance, different ideas on how to heal and I found myself here once again. I am 26 years old and I have struggled with Depression for as long as I can remember but I was diagnosed in my 2nd or 3rd year of University at age 18/19. I struggled through school with a host of health problems but there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I completed University and a Post Grad Certificate in Addictions Counselling in 2010 and I thought finally my life was finally going to get better. I had found something I was good at and I could get a job and move out and support myself etc. Unfortunately that didn’t happen-I don’t know exactly when it unravelled but I had foot surgery the year before my post grad and didn’t heal well, I had chronic pain (which had been attributed to dance injuries) that kept getting worse and have now been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, severe scent allergy, allergies to a number of foods, migraines. I had a terrible internship and couldn’t get a job or even more than 2-3 interviews after graduation despite sending out literally 100 resumes, my depression worsened. I was no longer in school so I had no health coverage and the medications I was on for depression, migraines and sleep disorder total almost $600/month so it didn’t take long to deplete any savings I had. Long story short in the past 4 years I have been through therapy some good, some re-traumatizing, I have recently been diagnosed with PTSD. I am unable to work at the moment because of all of my mental and physical health concerns. This isn’t where I saw my life and its hard to be hopeful for the future. I have lost all of my friends and no professional seems to know what to do with me or be able to help me, they all say I have to many problems. I am at a loss as to what to do…


m December 22, 2014 at 9:23 am

I have chronic depression and I need someone to talk to. I don’t know anyone personally who has the same or similar problem. And so I am reaching out online. I have tried describing my problem to friends but it does not work. It seems that only another person with a similar problem can possibly understand. since I was a child I had a problem which people commonly call night terror. I have access to medication for these problems, but my feeling about my life is not good. 2 years ago I had a volunteer project in Cambodia. It was the first time in my life that I felt I had a meaningful purpose for living. That project fell apart because of the corruption in Cambodia and also because of my depression. Since that time I have stayed in Cambodia, and partly because I am stuck. I am stuck emotionally in the same sense that a lot of the other people have expressed on this page. I never recovered from the loss of the kids in my village, and I never found another project since. So, I continue to live in a sort of suspended animation. In this strange world of Cambodia. If you are interested in sharing or chatting about some ideas or if you have suggestions I would appreciate it. I hope the best for all of you. I have read most of the stories people have written in this page and I can relate. I hope for everyone that they find a way to get through this very difficult life.


Janet November 24, 2014 at 6:39 pm

I am 47 years old, no partner I want to have a child, was very optomistic around 8 months ago but now my hopes are gone, I split with a partner, so things are not looking so bright, I feel stuck I go to church and have been told to pray and believe.

Please advise.


m December 31, 2014 at 4:26 am

I never had children. And i am not gifted with the ability to know what is missing from my life. people are kind and I think they would give me advice if they knew that I needed it, but most people don’t want to impose or feel intrusive. So I often do the opposite of what I need to do without realizing it. So when I came to live in cambodia I started working with all of the children here, I started to think that maybe I should have had children, but then I had the children in cambodia and I thought that adoption was better. I loved the kids but I was not able to adopt a child in cambodia because of the corruption here and the fact that the corruption makes it too expensive. i also think that my depression would not enable me to be a very consistent provider or parent type. so I was very content to work with the kids as long does it lasted and then my volunteer project fell apart also because of corruption. I just wondered about your post… I wonder if perhaps adoption would be a solution for you to make you feel happier. for some people it is possible to be a single parent.


Massi Faqiri December 1, 2014 at 5:26 pm

I was raised in a very intense competition mood and I always tried from my childhood to be the best and to lead my life to its best. However, it helped me a lot as I could raise my skills and abilities to a high extent and even I succeeded to win a scholarship for my college studies. I felt myself stuck when I asked myself that what I was doing? is it right to do it? which even led me to the question of what is the goal of my life? I did not find any answer, so, I just got stuck and now I am absolutely stop and have no movement neither towards past nor towards future. I am also turned skeptical to everything. Please help me find out a way!


Leah December 12, 2014 at 6:09 am

Went to grad school but freaked out and postponed. Having trouble deciding where to go from here. Lots if anxiety about the future, looking for work but am unemployed, feel like I have been treading water for a few years, successful moderately but dissatisfied. In my late 20s and never been in a serious relationship. Yeah, want to move forward but seem to have taken a big leap back. I know career wise that I can probably do what I put my mind to, but feel lost and like I really need someone to lead me. Worrier, and worried about having the close connections I need to keep going. Would love a session!


Juno December 15, 2014 at 2:20 am

I came across you blog after many nights not been able to fall asleep because of my feeling being stuck where I am in life. I’m 27 years old and am a student at the moment. I study something which I know I don’t want to work it in the future. I just starting this studies because I was afraid not becoming anything I life and these studies will surely lead to a job. Just writing this notes makes me feel stupid and my trust for myself and taking a crip of my life gets lower for every day.
I would love to come in contact with you through Skype.


Guy December 16, 2014 at 7:04 am

I am stuck in my life since my vehicle accident. That day change my life totally because I am not able to follow my career.
Everything seems turning around and I feel trapped inside in bad cycle.
I have tried many things, but nothing seems to work so far.

Can you help me?


Michele January 6, 2015 at 12:06 am

Beyond in need of someone to Care about me !! I have gotten Extreme Anxiety Disorder & SM a Single Mom dealing with Scariest scenario of Custody Court! I lost mybBiz bc I was Too overwhelmed w FEAR in my personal life trying to get Legsl help to keep custody of my son… I am totally Devustatedcand REALLY REALLY STUCK DESPERATE TO FUND LIFE COACH & THERAPY …but can’t even figure out where to start! Of course I became terribly Broke too since I couldn’t even work my stress level is BYOND WORDS! HELP ME FEEL CALM & Have ability to have hope and think a bit clearly! I’m so scared of being SO SCARED all Alone extremely overwhrelmed! Bless You 4 choosing me!


Christine Zacharias January 8, 2015 at 4:51 pm

Hey I’m Christy. I am a freshman in college. My first semester was pretty dramatic. I experienced some very healthy relationships with people, but my grades suffered. I blame myself for my incapability to balance my schedule. I learn that it was a skill I never really built, but it is caused a strain in my relationship with my parents. Coming back living back at home, I realize that boundaries were never placed. I feel stuck now because they are dissatisfied with my grades and I might have to live back at hom for the next semester. I guess this isn’t that bad, but for the past few months they have placed pressure on me about my friendships, major, and now its disappointing because they have a reason to continue pressuring me. I realize my bad habits though came out of a depression I felt at dorming. My parents have tracked my phone and question every move I make in the past four months. I gave up the middle of the semester. It was a,big mistake, and now I am just back where i started. I am still very young, and I have built good relationships outside of my family to get support, but I am at lose to what to do. If it weren’t for them I might have gave up on life, I know my next moves are to get my grades back in track and figure out where I am moving for the next semester and next six months. I honestly feel that living at home is not helping me in the long run. I will say that my parents are Indian, very strict, and also religious. The strictness is bad because once I had a taste of freedom, I dying make the right choice for myself. I think my steps are to save up money and network for getting my own phone, car and place. I don’t want to leave my parents but I feel so hopeless and depressed. Most of it is my felt, but a little is my upbringing. I have found people that accept me for me, and I refuse to partake and live a lie for my parents because they should love me for me. I have got a really nice relationship with a guy, and my parents disprove greatly. Although I am an adult, I practically live like a child being taken care of my parents. What can I do? Is there hope for me to change and make the hard decisions that I know I have to make of I need to be happy. I don’t wanna wait till I am thirty to see that I haven’t made any choices for myself. This is the time for me to find goodness and keep moving on to have a happier life I always dreamed off.


Carolyn Morse January 30, 2015 at 6:52 pm

Thank you so much for this article. Feeling very stuck losing job not my choice and wondering the path to go. Dont want to create the same patterns but embrace every day of life. Have felt I have been just surviving for too long. Not much joy.


Natali February 2, 2015 at 7:52 am

Hi Marthe,
I actually just stumbled upon this post accidentally and it really spoke to me. I am currently in a three year long relationship, two years of which have been long distance. Recently it has seemed like more of our interactions have been arguments rather actual talking. He is from an abusive home and has some anger and depression as a result of that, but other than that I don’t have anything to complain about. I, on the other hand, seem to constantly mess up in one way or another. Throughout my life I have struggled with connecting with people emotionally, and maintaining meaningful conversations over an extended amount of time. Both of those things, along with others, have been causing many of the problems we have been facing recently. I would really love your advice. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Mark obeid February 9, 2015 at 3:38 pm

I somehow doubt you are going to call. But,
I have made bad choices in advertantly my whole life. I am 2 years sober because I destroyed my life HIDING from a scary world. I live in a shit-hole of an apartment. Working a job I CONSIDER way beneath my potential. I was SUPPOSED to be Dr. Obeid, or Mark Obeid Esq.
I haven’t been in a REAL relationship in 4 years since my fiancee left as decent girls I have met have sort if disappeared when they find out I ride the bus (I don’t blame them) I have multiple felony arrest warrants in multiple states. Meaning no drivers license. My family is so relieved I have held a Job for 2 years and have health insurance, a retirement IRA with my company etc. I HATE MY JOB AND THE MORONS I WORK WITH. I DIDNT WANT TO CUT MEAT for a living. Turning myself in to face 2 years in jail (bond skippers, like me, don’t get bail or bond a 2nd time) means I am going to lose my job, probably, besides AA, the only good thing going for me. I dislike living with 2 other men, but can’t afford out. I could go to nursing school but they don’t licence wanted men and I cannot pay for schooling and would lose my insurance etc…..
also losing my place to live. I am 29 and am TRAPPED. NO WAY OUT OF SELF HATRED, the likes of which I can’t imagine anyone else knows. I understand why people relapse. It may be better than how it feels to be 2 years sober and a complete lonely loser. A slum hole living, meat chopping, romantically ineffectual, carless, money less nothing. Take a shot at that one. Countless have.


Tonya February 15, 2015 at 3:35 pm

Im a single mom of 4. Im stuck in life due to scams and people who pray on me for my situation. My credit is beyond poor and I cant get a job. Tried going to college and was withdrawn for bad grades. I left almost committed suicide in ladies bathroom at the college two years ago. I no longer feel smart enough to live daily and hate myself more than ever. Everything I do is making unhappy. Use to have sex to avoid the facts that Im a complete failure from birth and nobody wants me for anything but sex. God messed up making me and forgot my brain. Im used by everyone. I just gave up caring about it. Cant be normal. Cant experience qorking a 9 to 5 fulltime job


Christine September 16, 2015 at 8:09 pm

I am single mom 1 and I feel trapped I have 2 degrees but no good paying job to pay them back, you are not alone in this situation I am there with you just miserable


Prince February 20, 2015 at 10:04 pm

Im a single home producer who does his best to do music and im stuck in a situation of find the next path that can push me forward,the problem is i dont have any connections and i live in the township were there is no 1 willing to help or running on the same path,so i ask how i can change for the better and try to look out for opportunities that will expose my talent further more.the plan i had was to go and register my tracks but i seem to doubt that they wont bring enough money,self-doubt is killing because i become scared of whats gonna be like,help please!


sarah March 3, 2015 at 10:49 pm

Everyone else has probably bigger problems
I’m probably moaning about something trival.
I live in Ireland with my Boyf and one year old.
We live with his mother. He is 43 I am 35. Last
Year before I had baby it was agreed that we put
Central heating in house and make bit granny
Annex for me to work in. Central heating was
In by myself and boyf then all work stopped.
I never got my room with bit kitchen. His mum
Doesn’t care cos she has all. But its killing me.
I have been staying away in car all day on farm
And now avoiding even eating in house. The old
Woman stands in hall way at window and I couldn’t
Get in house as she stands in way. So I wait in car
Till she goes away. I just want be left alone.
I moan everyday to boyf threatening to leave and rent
Place. But he won’t leave farm. We thought last year
Get mobile or log cabin but ended up thinking granny annex
Was cheap option with extreme tight funds
I love him and want proper family with him. But we fighting
And its all over this. I wish old woman would die
Cos then problem would go away and we could
Modernise the house.
OK I look bad bitch saying that but I’m fighting losing battle.
I’m too skint. I don’t have friends only couple older people I know
My family is in different country.
I am stuck with looking after baby. All I want is my own place
Nothing fancy just something small that I can feel relaxed in
And keep clean and tidy.
I don’t have Skype. I don’t know what to do
All I know is sucking up shuting up and stop moaning
Is easy option but I feel so anxious and tense and fed up
How do I get what I see everyone else having.


Bernard March 4, 2015 at 11:18 pm

Seeing 58 replies compared to you offering 5-8 sessions gives me little hope of actual help but lately I´m feeling particularly vulnerable and ground down and am making an effort to get my head up so maybe opening up to the world will help. I´ve seen some of your posts and others like it but I don´t know how much help there really is besides just getting things off your chest. Whenever I look online for advice it never seems to fit me. It usually is geared towards a somewhat young white collared demographic that seems to suffer from a more existential “finding your bliss type” angst than actually for people who have already found “their freedom through responsibility” but need actual help to keep going. Change requires internal strength so how will I find this strength if I´m burnt out? Especially if I can´t just take a vacation or not worry about small things, what others think etc. Hell, one of the things I need to change is to NOT be so understanding and compassionate, things I admire in myself but that are hindrances in the real world. I don´t just FEEL stuck, I AM stuck and truly don´t know how I will go on. Sacrifice has a limit, or does it?


Jane Kent March 14, 2015 at 2:43 am

TO BERNARD: I thought I was reading my own response, but no! It was what I was thinking that you put into words. Perhaps our only answer for now is to keep looking for an answer.


Mich March 22, 2015 at 5:10 pm

Hi, I just saw your page an hour ago!

So I am 28 and i just started to get on my feet. Many years ago I started working for the first time and I felt so good that I am doing something in my life, then I got into trouble with some co-workers. You know like rumors and so forth, two people argued a lot and I was in the middle of it, i tried to suck it up and go on working. But since the situation got a lot worse i decided to move out of town and got a new job. Things worked out really well but then I had to comeback to my hometown.

Now I just got a new job, working for 6 months and in just six months I am in that situation where I am in the middle of two co-workers fighting. They put me in the middle and the other A who spreads the rumors about B says that I am the one spreading the rumors about B, which I did not! And B wants me to tell everything A is telling, but I do not want to get in the middle as I do not care about their personal issues with each other!

Then B said She does not want to work with me as I spread rumors about someone like its nothing! The things is I have only been working for 6 months and I kniw nothing about A and B personally besides that they hate each other! So I am stuck in a situation where I am again the one who is to blame! I ate that feeling and I have this urge to just quit my job and look for a new one, but then what if it happens again do I just keep on running!


Ally March 31, 2015 at 9:07 am

I have no idea what to do. I was in a great career at the start of the recession (2008), just after I left college. I was made redundant and couldn’t get another job straight away, so ended up temping just so that I could stay in my field and hopefully find something more permanent. Permanent never happened, and the temp jobs dried up. So I moved north and accepted the 1 out of 300 jobs that I was offered in a completely unrelated field. I took out a loan to continue studying towards my original career (which I love), just so that I could tell any future employees that I was still relevant and passionate about my career.

Well it’s now 2015 and apparently the economy is fixed (yay), but I don’t see it. I’ve spent over 3 years applying for every single job that came up in my original field, and literally no one will offer me an interview! Recruiters keep telling me I’m too old for the entry level jobs, yet I haven’t worked in my field for the last 3 years so I’m not suitable for jobs higher up the ladder! I’ve even tried applying for basic admin jobs in bigger companies in the hope of jumping departments later on, but again I’m too old and experienced for the lower level stuff!

I don’t know what to do. I’m more than qualified to work in my field, and was doing really well before the recession hit. I haven’t forgotten anything (if anything, I’m more knowledgable as I have advanced qualifications now). But no one will touch me. They want fresh 20 year old graduates to train up, or experienced managers with a good track record to come and lead the team.

In the meantime, I’m stuck in a badly paid job in a random field I have absolutely no interest in, and have no one to speak to all day as the office is so small. The company is family owned and only employs a handful of people, so there will never be any opportunities to progress or move within the company. I don’t have enough money to visit my old friend or contacts in the field, so I’m slowly losing touch with most of them. I don’t know what to do!


Sarah March 31, 2015 at 11:00 am

Dear Marthe,

I’ll keep it short and sweet.. (well sweet.. it depends..) I’m a life coach and writer and last September I moved to France to live with my boyfriend after going back and forth all time from Holland to France. I left in Holland, a house, a job, family and friends and the most important thing my daughter. She is living with her father, I had a divorce in 2013 after 11 years of being together (thank god a peaceful one..) so yes a lot of turmoil in my love life. This was not an easy decision to make. Last January I got back to Holland after the Holidays to be with my daughter and family because I hadn’t seen them and then my boyfriend broke up with me over Skype?! He didn’t love me. He was not in love with me, he thought he was but no..
I cannot even begin to start how it felt.. a broken heart is like a broken compass you have no idea how to find your way back again. Wednesday morning I had a life in France with a man a loved deeply a couple of hours later I had no home (no idea in what country to live..), no job (because I cannot heal people if I need to heal myself), and NO relationship anymore. Shock.

I’m back in Holland. And getting better, and I can handle everything and everything.. even though ai ai it hurts. I not only loved him, I love France too. I trust this happened for a reason but there’s this one thing that is keeping me stuck. Letting go of what I thought was real. Letting go of this love I have for this man. Letting go of control, of the past. Letting go. I meditate, write, read, do I the things I know intellectually I have to do.. but my heart.. I know this is the work but how energetically do I let go. I could really use some help, guidance from another coach to guide me trough this. I don’t want to let go in anger or sadness. I wish to let go in love so it not only liberates him but at the same time, me.
Thank you for your time.



Chip April 4, 2015 at 7:53 am

Hello –
I feel as if I made a wrong life choice coming back to China for another year. At least to this particular location. I have trouble fitting in with other people, and my friend who used to be my good buddy is a lot more distant than he used to be. I often feel very lonely and isolated, and have trouble finding activities that are interesting to do. At this particular place, the choices for activities are very limited. If you’re not interested in playing basketball or some other competitive sport, it’s very difficult to interact with people and make close friends. Chinese people can be very kind and friendly to foreigners…but if you’re naturally introverted, it is quite a challenge.

Finding a girlfriend has not nearly been as easy as I thought it would be…even though they say that it’s easy to find one here. Since I have been successful in the past with finding a girlfriend, this is what kept bringing me back here…in hopes that I could find a new one. But it has been more than 2 years now, and my heart tells me that I should have really given up by now.

Going back home is very difficult, because we are on a semester system here. To quit only after one month of being here would cause too much trouble for the other teachers. To quit at the end of the semester is much more possible…but I feel very stuck in a place that is very difficult for me, and that’s more than 3 months away! Should I go ahead and tell them I’m leaving now…and sacrifice my future as well as a lot of criticism and embarrassment…or should I find a way to keep trucking on until the end?


Sky April 5, 2015 at 4:28 pm


Let’s just get to the point, I’m 21 now I’ve literally wasted 19 and 20 moaping around because in December 2013 I had to leave college because the finances just weren’t there. I tried helping to pay for my education but it wasn’t enough and my parents just couldn’t do it. On top of that during all three semesters my parents were going through a speration (my father did drugs in the past, gave that up but continued with alcohol it was a leading factor to fianacial disorganization, let downs everytime I tried to catapult my self out of my bad situation ect.) My father realized this very late in the game he is now 2 years sober and filled with regret, guilt, and left with a fractured family. My home was falling apart emotionally and physically there is holes in the cealling and walls, mold growing in an unfinished basement, half constructed bathrooms, and I could keep on going. I had to move in with grandparents (did I mention that my father lives there too because he’s sperated from my mom and also my brother because he commutes to school everyday). Plus my two younger brothers come on the weekend cause my mom goes to see her boyfriend and my father goes to see his girlfriend so I’m left with the responsibility. My aunt also lives with us she’s is a hoarder and my brother (the one who commutes to school) and I have to literally live in her mess. My parents told, me that I needed to get a job after a bunch of rejections I got a job at an ice cream parlor. I wasn’t happy there it got boaring very quickly so I quit, and minimum wage is very demeaning, but I guess that’s just life right? Anyway, as of right now I have been applying for jobs, applying for volunteer work trying to get my transcript back, and applying to schools without a transcript. Amidst everything I really don’t know what I want I’m trying to figure it out really I am, I’m trying to stay positive but its really exhausting. HELP I’m trapped!!! and I’m an Aquarius WE HATE BEING TRAPPED; it’s literally my worst fear “not going anywhere in my life and making a contribution to life itself”. Please I’m too young to be worrying my self sick my current situation if very unhealthy.


Sky April 5, 2015 at 4:32 pm

did you get my email? if not I’ll just submit this again.


Jessica April 16, 2015 at 2:13 pm

Good Morning,
I came across your website and felt compelled to read on. I myself am dealing with Deep Dark Moments. I Have a Need to just, up and leave the life I’m living behind. I feel like I was supposed to Help others and I ended up being a nothing..My Body Feels it! The only way to explain that is to say, I can hear something tell me to just get up and start walking..Take Nothing, show and pass good words to the masses.. I am not meant to be caged in a house because I’m much happier in the open terrain. I do not fit in here on this earth and looking to find out why the urge to roam is haunting me.


Ana April 20, 2015 at 9:10 pm

I am trying hard to establish a work-life balance after divorce, immigration and another long list of hardships. I cannot seem to find the resources to definitely leave poverty behind, no matter what I do or what effort I put into it. I cannot afford to leave the job where I am stuck (or I am in high risk of becoming homeless) and employers give me pretexts not to tell me on my face that I am too old for what they need. My living conditions aren’t bad for a person with low resources; however, the places where I can afford to rent are owned by people full of frustrations and capable of ruining the life and patience of a saint. I wish I could leave the state for some fresh air (at least, the South Florida region), but I’m afraid that the air is noxious for someone in my circumstances ANYWHERE.
Usually, you can see people trying to work on one of the areas, but not in all of them at the same time(?)


Sarah May 13, 2015 at 10:45 am


What a lovely kind offer to have free Skype sessions.
I would love an opportunity to feel inspired again.

My stuck situation involves my career whereby I resigned from my ongoing job back in 2011
and have only been able to pick up short term contracts instead of long term positions.

I am a teacher and I love my profession however I had to move sideways into another area as I needed full time work. Teaching could only offer part time.
I feel stuck and in need of guidance. I hope you can help?
Sarah ;)


Debbie May 16, 2015 at 8:38 pm

I use exclamation points a lot in a desperate attempt to bring hope to others when I feel none for myself.
My situation is that I have been married over 30 years to the wrong person and feel extremely stuck here with him. I married him for all the wrong reasons. I was sickly and could not work and he was much older than me and said he would take care of me. I was living with my parents and wanted to get out of that bad situation so I married him because my mom told me no one else would love me as much as him. A year into the marriage and he had a psychotic breakdown. That changed my entire life. Every ounce of my being wanted out, but I stayed out of my marriage commitment. The next 30 years of my life has been one one bad event after another. It is a super long story, but I kept trying to do things to try to make my life better with him, or cope with my situation and it just seems that I have dug myself into a hole so deep there is no getting out. My heart knows that I don’t want to be with him, never did really. I have developed depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia and other pain issues that keep me stuck here. He has a hoarding problem that he will not address and most of my life is spent trying to struggle to even walk through my house with all the excess in here. We do have a son together who just graduated from college. I am thankful for my son. However, I almost died after having him and have even more sickly since. I have good medical insurance through my husband’s work that I desperately need due to all my many medical conditions. He also has inheritance money and has been very careful to keep that separate so that I am not entitled to any of it by law if I should leave the marriage. He is retired now and we live off of his retirement check. His whole life consists of sitting in the recliner and watching tv all day and night. He is argumentative. I have tried making a place in the house for myself, going places, having relationships with other men, going to church, exercising, taking medication,but the hole just keeps getting deeper. I have become severely obese and no friends. I feel very dependent on him financially and in other ways as he is like a father to me and I have no one else. I have gone to 3 attorneys over the years and all have told me I would be royally screwed if I leave him. I don’t want to be rich, I just do not want to struggle being poor and not get medical care I need.
Please help me!!!


blueyes May 18, 2015 at 7:26 am


I was doing well in my career until a bad decision in post graduation which made me go through a very bad internship at an MNC. The phase demotivated me and scared me to an extent that i took a sabbatical from thinking about what to do next for around 6 months. Then started trying for jobs and got into one and now its been almost 2 years and i’m stuck in this job. I lost my Mother during PG which is a huge loss of moral support for me. I see my classmates who were average doing very well with good jobs and personal life and i have nothing now. I do have a family(recently married) and problems with in-laws. So, only thing that can give me some strength from within is a stable and strong career for which i have put in my 100% right from beginning. But unable to find a getaway from here right now. I’m getting frustrated. Help me!


jenna May 19, 2015 at 7:51 am

You are good enough hun, and don’t think less of yourself.


Mark May 21, 2015 at 2:55 pm

I’m a retired 67 year old male, who finds a need to move out of my house, but feel stuck in it.. I sold it a year ago, but couldn’t sign the very final paper, and had to pay $$ to break the contract. I am fearful of moving. I don’t even take day journeys to try to break my daily routine. I don’t take vacations. I didn’t even fly to AZ for my brother in law’s funeral( my sister would have paid). My one neighbors family all eventually died, and a landlord now rents out to students, and the other neighbor is Bipolar, is impossible to talk to because He is Catholic, and anti-gay. When I first bought this house, his parents owned a church organ, and blasted out loud noise day and night. I had to get a social worker to end it. Now the son owns it, and is not easy to live next to. We don’t talk.. SO basically, I need to move, but don’t seem to be able to… People say, well just visit the town you’d like to move to for a week, then make a decision. etc.. Like I said, I feel unable/fearful to move. Any help advice appreciated. thanks


Louise June 7, 2016 at 8:24 pm

Mark, I just read your comments here and really felt for you. I feel exactly the same way and I know it is horrible. I always travelled, I was a free spirit I moved house too many times to remember, nothing fazed me, then I had a slipped disc in my back, the agony took over my life and I have to leave my job, stop driving and basically I have crawled around on the floor day and night for 5 months, unable to sleep, hooked on painkillers including morphine which I had NO IDEA was an opiate and addictive, thanks Doc! Now I finally had a caudal epidural painkiller in my spine and I can move about with a limp, still some pain but the worse pain is in my mind because I feel totally trapped! I am scared of everything, I am scared to take a train an hour to visit my dying mother and my nieces and nephews who prior to this I saw most weekends. I booked a flight to Bulgaria because I love it and have been many times but as the day approached the dread and anxiety intensified so much I felt physically sick at the thought of going to the airport ( where i used to work!)never mind actually getting on the plane , so I didn’t go. Then of course I beat myself up some more over that.
I have no idea how to overcome this, I hope you have found a way because it seems to me if you have a house to sell you are in a good position to start fresh somewhere lovely, can’t you think of a place you have visited you really loved or even if you haven’t been, go somewhere you have seen on T.V and look around? I know the going bit is the hardest bit so it is a vicious cycle. I lost my house over bad judgement and tenants I rented to who just didn’t pay the rent so after two years I finally got them out then had to sell at a loss and still owe on it. I feel my life is over. I have a limp and every step hurts and of course when the injection wears off I may be back in the dreadful 24 hr bone crushing root nerve pressing torture zone. So I say to you Mark, if you are able bodies, pain free and have a financial asset that CAN take you out of your current situation then somehow find a way to move because your current situation is dragging you down, you don’t sound as if you have ever been happy there so I am willing to guess that is the root of your problem that has been building up over the years, the house is the reason you are trapped so get rid of it. I pray you find the courage to shake off this awful thing that is keeping you in miserable limbo whatever it is! Good luck!


Matilda May 30, 2015 at 2:15 am

Hi Marthe,
thanks for this article, I really feel stuck and have no idea what to do and I have very limited people I can talk to that would give me solutions to my problem… I would really like to speak with you about this. I am 23 years old, I live with my older brother in a one bedroom house so I sleep in the room while he sleeps on the couch. The problem is that for the past 5 years whenever I am asleep he sneaks up to me and tries humping me, I wake up and he runs away. I told my mom about it but she didnt believe me, I moved out of the house and had to come back because I don’t have a job any more and can’t afford rent. Recently things have gotten really bad, he is no longer running away when I wake up, and becoming more aggressive, one day I had to use a hot iron on him, just the other day he literally climbed on me and was trying to force his way on me. The worst part of all of this is that he claims he has no idea or recollection of all these things, like he is in a trance or some split personality thing or some form of possession, I have fought, I have tried to speak to him, my room door has no locking system anymore because it is now damaged, I have no means of moving into my own flat. I fear that one day I will be raped by my own brother. Can you please advice me on what to do, because I have ran out of options and feeling hopeless…


T G June 3, 2015 at 2:55 pm

I did some work and travel in New Zealand…. I needed to….I was exhausted after I finished my M.Sc. in Geology to make my parents proud. I met someone and I thought I loved him….I had to go back home to germany for a while and be in a long distant relationship….took some time to sort out the visa so I could go back to the life I thought I loved so much and would make me happy. With my friends here and foremost my boyfriend.
But most of those friends are not my friends anymore…..the contact has gotten lost and it’s not the same anymore. And my partner just doesn’t love me…..not me….my personality. He loves my pretty german face and the way I was when I travelled…..when I was carefree…..well, it’s easy to seem carefree when you convinve yourself you don’t care.
But in the end I did care…..and now I’m on the other side of the world with a partner that doesn’t love ME…..I’m more than unhappy, alone…..too afraid to tell anyone back home that they were all right in telling me not to go (outloud or not)…..no friends here….no one where I feel they really care or where I feel it wouldn’t be a bother to them if I spoke to them about my problems. Instead I pretend that everything is well…..tell my boyfriend that I love him….that we’ll work it out.
And at night I lie awake and think about how I could have an accident that will put an end to all this……to this life I never wanted to have. To this life in which I was never happy….never someone’s main care….I don’t care to live. I never have…..I only live because I don’t wanna hurt my parents. But that’s not a good enough reason anymore.
Where should I go…..what should I do? How do I find friends that really care about me?


Louise June 7, 2016 at 8:36 pm


Your post moved me, I hope you have resolved your unhappy situation. If I knew you I would say just leave, pack a bag and go home, because of the time away and distance
you don’t feel you belong at home but I bet once you returned, find a little job and your own place, take your independence back, you will recover and feel safe and at home again. ( You say you think about ending things but won’t because of your parents, so you must love them and know they love you , so I ma sure they would be happy to have their girl home. If you don’t want to go straight home book a ticket somewhere nice that is cheap to travel so you can stay a while and sort your head out, try yoga, meditation, swim, eat clean Best place for me this is Thailand, I spent many months there and returned over and over , its cheap to live and travel and you will meet lots of fellow travellers if you stay a while in one of the backpacking places Ko Samui, Ko Phagnan etc…if I had the energy to do it I would go again tomorrow to help myself out of my rut! Find yourself, take back who you used to be, she is still there! Life is precious and short don’t wish it away! Above all please do not worry about what other people think, believe me they are not worrying about what you think! We all have our own demons, no one is judging you they are too busy dealing with their own crap ! Good luck!


bb June 4, 2015 at 2:55 pm

Trying to recover from a chronic illness, stressfull childhood, and in the midst of exactly what you wrote about, making better decisions in my present life. Struggling in every direction, dont know how to make wise decisions anymore. Health situation promotes isolation, which is not what I desire.


HateLocker June 16, 2015 at 8:44 pm

How am I stuck… My mother has lied to me all my life. I never questioned her just took care of things. I gave up my life to come back home to help my family. I ran our family business until my father got better. I was suppose to go back and pursue my interests. But she saw how effectively I was running the business and how much money I was making her. She paid me nothing. I asked for nothing. Just thought when it came time she would hand over the business or when it sold she would give me a percentage. All were lies. Instead of saving or banking the money what did she do, buy more stuff for me to take care of. She spread me thin. Always working. Never allowed to do anything. At the time I just thought we were just taking care of business to grow our assets. Never did I imagine that she took all my work and passed it on as her own success. Friends slowly left. Girlfriends found better lovers. I just became a slave.

Now I don’t make her any money. I don’t take care of the businesses. She promised to sell and what does she do, she rents out the business. Does she give me any money, NO. Why don’t I leave? No money. No where to go. No one willing to hire me. My reported income is way below the poverty line. Way below. People laugh thinking I’m kidding. She has given me nothing. She gives all her attention and money to my brother who is a backstabbing lying weasel. I’m stuck.

Been to therapy. What was her advise? Do what makes you happy. Really? I spent all this time and money for you to tell me to do what makes me happy. I like to do a lot of things but those things do not make money to where I can live. I opened up to my two best friends. What happened? They got sick and tired of listening to all the BS that my mother puts me through. It dragged them down and they felt drained because they had no answers and it wore them out. It’s an impossible situation. Everybody says that but no really my situation is impossible. I lost both of them as friends. They no longer talk to me. They no longer care. So opening up to your friends is not the answer. If you do, you have to keep it short and limited. Mix it up with some good stuff.

I’m not perfect and made a lot of mistakes. I am educated more than most yet finding a job is more difficult when you are older. Over qualified. No experience. Bosses don’t want to hire someone who is smarter than they are. Reach out? Yeah that doesn’t work. Everybody seems to wanna gloat. The guy who is better than they are is down in the gutter. Kick me while i’m down. Give up on me. Ignore me. Leave me. All these self help books and blogs and sessions are BS. They are all vague. At the end of the day it’s all about money. No one truly cares about you except YOU. Not your family, not your friends, not your loved ones. NO ONE BUT YOU.

In this world if you are a boy scout, if you are honest, if you are a good person, there is no room for you because everyone else will be waiting to take advantage of your good hearted nature. When they’re done with you, they won’t even blink. No one wants to help the strong. No one wants to help people who were once popular, outgoing, likable. As soon as they go down they want to keep you down because you are better than they are and they don’t want to ever see you have it better than they have it. That’s this life. Filled with plotters and schemers who only think of themselves. There’s only one sure way out.


fluffy June 18, 2015 at 12:54 pm

hi. i came upon this site because i feel stuck in my life. i am 24 years old and just finished my bachelors in economics and psychology. just last week my boyfriend who relocated from austria to live with me moved out and broke off the relationship. the issue was money. i cant seem to find employment in my country, there are no jobs and this is why he broke it off because he was the one paying rent and food although i was doing my part in the relationship. he left me in a house i cant afford since i am unemployed and therefore i have to move out. i dont know where i will go, i dont have friends, my mother stays a million miles away from the city in the village and i am afraid going there would mean to pause my whole life. meanwhile i started an online fashion retail store with an investor of which i dont know what i am doing and dont feel it anymore, its based on the number 22 which i keep seeing everywere but dont know if this is just a pyschological trick or a true meaningful sign i should follow. i really want to pursue a masters degree in austria but i dont have the means to as funding is an issue and have exhausted all possiblities since i come from botswana and its a 3rd world country. so i feel stuck, i will soon be evicted from an expensive house, i dont have a job, i dont know where i am going. all i do is sit and worry because i cant take any step further. i mean what step can i take. i dont know. i feel stuck and horrible. help me.


Amy June 19, 2015 at 1:41 am

Hi, it’s so true what you said that people who are at their lowest (usually includes finances) literally either can’t afford it even if they’re know it’s needed or simply so down don’t know where to turn. Was nice that Google allows your literal feeling “totally stuck in life” then pops hundreds of sites based on that emotion.
Anyway, I’ve been through corporate america, and haven’t worked since January this year as I was the target of the owners bullying tactics, left me isolated, severely depressed and just lost. It all happened so quick after six years as their Accountant. So that’s where I’m at. The thought of putting back the old pieces of me just aren’t happening. This life was never one I ever even wanted but became pretty good at it, now tho, the money, difficult people, I sometimes see it, but it’s meaningless. Like you, if o could, I would simply want a stable income to feed and house myself and simply help others lives.


Bharat kathuria June 26, 2015 at 5:37 am

I am living in India
My age is 40 years

My situation – I feel totally energy less and fatigue all day

I was never a social person from my childhood but I was doing good in my Buisness until 2006
After that due to various circumstances I have lost a big amount in Buisness
Problems started in my life including court cases and financial problems
These resulted into back pain and I had to undergo a surgery
Due to all this issues I was very much disturbed and irritated and my wife starting maintaining distance and wanted to get separated
We had no relation from last 4 years And she left me last year and moved away with my daughter
I was trying my luck with another Buisness meanwhile but
I have lost interest in life altogether and not a happy person
I don’t feel any energy and not able to feel happy in any thing


Oparah Joseph June 29, 2015 at 5:08 pm

Love your website and will be willing to receive more update from you.


Deb June 30, 2015 at 9:48 am

I need help I am stuck.


Cathy July 7, 2015 at 9:15 am

Hi, I’m so stuck. I left my hometown of London 3 years ago and miss it desperately but my husband and kids are settled. Husband said we could go back if I didn’t like it, yet since he says all the time how settled everyone is and that I’m being selfish. Ultimately he says we can go back, but he has put a fear in me about the dangers for our boys, money being tight in London, but I’m suffocating here, I hate the small town mentality, I can’t get involved in anything cos I don’t want to, everything is so half hearted, yet now I don’t know if I’d be like that wherever I was or if I would be better by going home. I feel I don’t know my own mind anymore and everyone says I’m just looking through rose tinted spectacles. A recent trip to a city weekend just gone has brought it all to the forefront of my mind again, I felt so alive back in a ‘city’ environment, and feel so down to be waking up in this small town again this morning. Please help me :'( x


Naush July 12, 2015 at 7:36 pm

I am stuck in a complex situation of my relatioship. I have nobody around to seek guidance from.
Really need a push to get out of this hell n well.Could you please help me????


Laura July 16, 2015 at 2:38 pm

Help – I left my husband 12 months ago and my life has gone in a downward spiral since then, and am contanstly questioning what I’ve done


g July 22, 2015 at 4:07 am

Dear marthe. First of all I just want to thank you for your generous offer to help us.my English language is not good but I will try to tell you what is going on in my life l graduated from medical school 4 years ago and since then I feel that my life is so messed up I didn’t do anything in my career I’ve been worrying about it everyday I even can’t sleep at night because of that I feel like a failure all the people on batch did something in their lives and I’m stoked at one point and I’m so hesitated to choose a speciality I don’t know where to start I feel worthless


Erica July 24, 2015 at 10:29 pm

If I am still on time for a Skype session, well. I could really use it. I have done so many things in the last ten years, so much work. Yet I keep being stuck. On the back seat. I help so many people in my job every day. Yet I cannot seem to be able to help myself. This is the irony and the prison which I have somehow built for myself. I know I am not alone in this so I just want to say to all of you who feel this way, keep trying. Keep moving. I hope one day we will break free from ourselves.


Suzy August 9, 2015 at 9:11 pm

I’ve been feeling trapped in my life for almost a year now. I’ve lost a lot and I feel like I have no life and it brings up feelings of anxiety and emptiness, and I’ve become so hopeless. I considered seeing a therapist, but I don’t want to result in just taking anti-depressants and having someone diagnose me with things I don’t have.


Jeremy August 17, 2015 at 12:53 pm

Hello Marhte, I have never had to do anything like this before and I honestly didnt even know about you till about a half hour ago. I desperately need some help here. The mother of my 2 children, who has 2 children with another guy who happens to be her ex husband is stuck and on the verge of a complete breakdown. Ive been trying to help and offer her what I thought was sound advice but it doesnt seem to be helping. I care alot about this woman and I havent always been there for her but I really need to see her in a better place for her and all the children. Let me explain her situation. She moved to texas for manager training and out of necessity and the kindness of her enormous heart she allowed her ex husband to go with her so he could watch the children while she worked. He drinks and is in her opinion a substandard father. She wanted him out but she is unable to be so unkind to anyone. Almost 2 weeks ago he was drunk and she received a text he tried to take her phone from her in a jealous rage. After a brief skirmish he got the phone from her and in the process gave her a mild concussion and ended up jumping a wall and breaking an ankle and a knee. She told him she didnt want him to be back there upon release from the hospital and wasnt going to be responsible for his care. Medical transport dropped him there on release on his request because his own family wouldnt help him and he refuses to help himself. She says he requires the care of an infant and she is unable to afford child care while she works and he is unable to watch the children. She hasnt been able to work since this happened and is about to lose her residence and her mind it seems. Our 2 children are staying with her parents but I am extremely worried about her and her other 2 children. I haven’t been father of the year by far but like I said I care about her and all of the children and I just dont know what to do anymore. She is the strongest woman I have ever known and I am willing to do anything I can to help her I just dont know what I can do in this situation other than be supportive. I cant stand to see her this stressed and so close to breaking. I dont think she would try to contact you for help or advice so Im reaching out to you. Please if there is anything you can do to help I would be so very appreciative.


Kasia August 26, 2015 at 1:18 am

I have been married for 25 years and have two grown up and two little children. I have had a horrible childhood and as a result have so many fears and feelings of being worthless. I feel stuck at work, feel stuck in my marriage which I have tried to abandon many times, but because of the fear of the unknown and not being able to cope by myself I am stuck. I pray to God to give me an exit ticket, either 6 lotto numbers or to just take me away from this loveless life. What do I do?


Marthe August 26, 2015 at 10:26 am


the exit ticket won’t come from above. You have to create it. Take yourself away from the life that you don’t want. Take your kids with you. Show them how to really LIVE. You only live once, and life is far too short and far too precious to be a victim of the circumstances. The only way to get rid of fear is to face it.

This is a little tough love, and it may be difficult to hear. But you are the creator of your own fortune and you can change your life for the better! Sending you lots of love and strength. <3



Tauqeer Hussain September 8, 2015 at 6:36 pm

I want to continue my higher studies abroad, but I am kinda stuck with a job of which I am bound not to leave for 10 years.


Christine September 16, 2015 at 7:56 pm

I am a single mom who moved to the east coast to make my life better currently I have finished 2 degrees a bachelors and a masters. I am unable to get a career job in my fields,so I just have to keep taking customer service jobs because I have to pay bills. I hate that field I have tried everything I know to get out of it but no luck. My assumption is because I have no experience I am just at the end of my rope I just feel so defeated my life has been like this for 5 years. In addition I have never had a healthy relationship and my weight loss plateaued. I feel like I have the worse life ever constantly crying because I just feel empty on the inside and just existing in this game of life


donna September 23, 2015 at 4:52 pm

Please help! I’ve been with a man 13 yes on/off I’ve tyres to get away but I end up on the streets or getting raped I even had a boyfriend die on me when I left him one time .he’s always accusing me of stealing fro him although he uses quite a bit of my money.he owns 3properties 6 vehicles none of which my name is own.we got a divorce because he was afraid I would be intittled to some of his passes TS .he’s always putting me down doesn’t believe in holidays and swears its wrong to look at anyone in the eye especially men .I just want out I’ve tried everything please he’s kept me away from my own children and told horrific strories so no one will help I’ve been to all the shelters around here I’m at the end of my rope no where to go no one to turn to…god is my friend but the worlds killing me.please help


donna September 23, 2015 at 4:54 pm

I want love at 46 I just want a man who will be with me and my children


Andres September 30, 2015 at 6:25 am

My problem is quite complicated, it requires extensive explanation.


Irene November 4, 2015 at 2:42 pm

Dear Andres,

I am not sure how to help you, but I hope the universe heals it soon.



Prateek Khanna October 7, 2015 at 4:38 pm

I feel like I have no one left in my life
who really care, I have made my share of mistakes
and I am suffering now. i cant explain my situation,
just want an opportunity to live.


sam October 8, 2015 at 7:15 pm

i need urgent help….. pls


tenzing October 26, 2015 at 2:54 am

Hey Martha an a 25 year old girl I am very dissatisfied with my life working in a job I have no motivation or love for and repeating relationships with cold unavailable men I need help


Carl dekok October 27, 2015 at 5:42 am

Nice for you..but I have had enough..


Harsh Patidar November 1, 2015 at 3:17 pm

I am 16 year old boy studying in class 11th , recently I scored 7.8 cgpa in my 10th class I did too hard word but the result was not as good as expected, and now I have taken science , my term 1 was miserable , it had three tests ,I tried different ways to excel this tests but I failed . I am also cricket player , in that field also Iam lagging behind with my companions, I found my self feeling guilty on my own self. Also I found that those fellow who were weaker than me , now are doing much better than me. I don’t know what to , whether I should quit playing cricket and should only focus on studies


Irene November 4, 2015 at 2:41 pm


I am stuck in a situation that I cannot control, and it hurts me and my children- I don’t know how to stop the madness.



mani.g November 4, 2015 at 7:30 pm

I will live my life,,reaily I don’t no whr l lift but I am tring to recovery my life I cont able to recovery it , In my life I will wast my time and years but all happen on my families and my Friends,sleeping, my careless and I am helpless and jobless but it’s all give me a big failures for me its all ok but the worst thing in my life is give all the people advise i con.t take any advice i will accept my failure but i didn’t take advice for others life geting so critical wht i do i don’t no plese suggest me i am helpless


Oliva November 26, 2015 at 6:17 am

My father recently passed away. He always gave me strength to get passed any obstacles I encountered. Without him life dealings were hard to surpass. I’ve been battling my sole sucking job before he passed, my narcissist boyfriend, my selfish and so called best friend, only to reconnect with another narcissistic friend. I feel my job is just not right for me as well as everything else in my life now. I seem to constantly make the wrong decisions. My now ex narcissistic boyfriend works at my job. I’m only guessing he’s sabotaging situations at work as I know he has but I have no solid proof and he’s trying to make my life there even more unbearable. I want to leave my job of 15 years so much and have tried to transfer to no avail. I’ve been looking for a new job. But I can’t seem to find a job that I can afford my house and bills. So I feel stuck, along with my ex. I don’t talk about him as I know how a narcissist works and use the no contact rule. But my ex has single handedly manage to get my friends at work against me as well as my peers. I find myself now without much of a family, no intimate relationship, barely any friends, alone with my house and no help I can turn too and a job I wake up each day hating. I’ll trust someone and I turn around only to find they have betrayed it. I don’t know what to do to successfully turn my life around. Stuck!


Ciorstadh November 28, 2015 at 6:28 am

I feel I have completely stuffed up my life. I thought I was so brave at the time, emigrating to another country on the other side of the world – alone. Turns out it was the stupidest thing I could have done. I learnt a new language, married, had 3 children, gave up my job to raise them. To have children in another country is not easy. My children are now grown but still live at home. I no longer love my husband. I want to go back to my home country but I feel trapped here because I gave up my job so long ago. It will be very difficult for me to get a job to support myself back there, but I know in my heart I have to go. I hate this place, the country where I am now living. I hate living with my adult children who only tolerate me because I cook and clean for them. I could force my husband to sell the family home and take half the proceeds but then my children would hate me for wrecking the family and taking their home away from them. Yet deep in my heart I know I must go. It was a big mistake for me to come here and I will never be happy here.


Ava December 1, 2015 at 5:16 pm

Hey, is exactly 1year my lover came back to me, I’m letting you know how i got my ex back because this Christmas holiday everyone need there love ones around them not just your love ones but your lover, a year ago i was heartbroken and i knew i could not spend the holiday alone that is when i was looking for how i can make my lover come back to me so that we can make things right, to cut the long story short on a faithful day i came across the details i will be dropping on the internet, someone talking about how she got her ex back so i took this details I’m dropping via email: (((ekpentemple at gmail.com)) and i contact him and i told him that i want my lover to come back to me, today I’m with my lover. Thanks you Dr. EKPEN TEMPLE for the help.


John December 16, 2015 at 3:23 am

Hi l came upon ur page l suppose l was looking for some guidance, l used to work as a promoter in the spiritual business with my beautiful girlfriend, in 2005 l was hit by a car from prior to this happening l was so proactive and positive very motivated, since the accident everything went wrong for me, l lost all motivation and felt psychologically drained unable to function as before, l have been to counselling the therapist was very empathic person but this made little difference, l just seem incapable of being the person l once was l just feel lost really. Sincerely John


Mohammad faizan December 20, 2015 at 1:37 pm

Nowadays I am completely confused about my future. I am a student but unable to perform well in studies. My parents has been supportive to me, my whole life. Now its my time to pay them back. They are getting older day by day. I am stuck and have no job neither I am studying well nor I am serious about having a job. I dont know what to do?


Sharmin December 29, 2015 at 8:59 pm

I am on the same situation but mine is a bit complecated… Thinking of councellung…


ohgodshelteredpeoplereality January 8, 2016 at 6:35 am

“we create our reality” because financial and social currencies are just myths, right? If you don’t have an employer or clientele to acquire currency which pretty much dictates access to everything else in these times it’s simply because you choose not to. < The logic this entire philosophy is based on which doesn't pass the burden of proof which makes it a fairy tale..


Kelly January 16, 2016 at 10:35 pm

I didn’t read of any actual problems in any of those comments. I was looking for help but found only more jealousy of mine at these people’s description of their lives.


Nate January 19, 2016 at 1:49 pm

Hey, I’m Nate. I recently moved out of Alaska after moving there with an ex fiancé 3 years ago. Before I moved I worked in Pennsylvania and hadn’t accomplished much but was always trying/pushing to do more. I had a few marks on my license, none for dui or anything dangerous but I got pulled over driving with a suspended license and lost it for so much longer. I rarely drink, I don’t do drugs, I don’t hangout with the wrong ppl, it wrecked me. Not being able to drive takes away so many opportunities in your life. I moved to Alaska with my ex the. So I could work, bank some money and not have to drive. We went in love, fell out of love within 2 years. We moved from one small town to Denali National park to life for a summer and it started out rough due to some major personal problems we were having. We both worked so much because we were trying to get ahead. We eventually split. I spent nights in the mountains getting drunk wondering if I had made the right decision. Then I met my current gf. She was everything I had wanted. But we moved, and the life I had painted a picture of hadn’t happened. I apply for 5+ jobs every single day. I worry about money so much it effects me emotionally. I am a hard working, smart, educated guy who is barely making anything. I don’t have any friends of family around. I’m at the point where I’m gonna have to sell my personal possessions. I feel stuck. I work the same job of guys who have been in jail, have no education and currently do hard drugs. I don’t know what to do with my life. Things I wanted to go to school for have haulted because of my license situation. Any advice or ideas would be great.


Baba January 29, 2016 at 8:54 am

Hello Marthe.
So glad to meet you!

I am a student studying in class 11, i have been a good student in my previous standards but when i entered this phase of 11, my performance is readily declining because i am unable to do anything…….i am unable to manage time, i am unable to study properly, my concentration is declining, i am unable to solve problems……i am fully depressed. I am unable to think of a solution to this.

Also i want to tell you that whenever i solve two or three numericals and if i get correct answers at the first go, i start feeling like i will be able to solve most of the problems. Otherwise if my freinds are able to solve some numericals correctly which i was unable to solve, i start to feel hopeless about my studies and my career. What should i do?

Please help me and pull me out of this situations.



Cindy January 29, 2016 at 9:25 am

Hi my name is Cindy.
Here’s my story.
Moved to Somerset ten years ago started out in street in Somerset. Then we moved to Taunton.
Then three years ago my husband died suddenly he was 41 and I was 42. We have two children youngest being 9 now and eldest 16.
After husband died we got a council exchange back to street.
In 2014 I made the worst decision of my life that was coming back to Luton to be closer to my family as after husband died I felt so alone.
I gave up our council house and I now private rent in Luton.
I regret giving up our council house and making the move back to Luton as my girls and myself hate it here so much.
I just feel trapped here and I want my girls to be happy again in Somerset I just can’t seem to make a life here.
I don’t know how to get my girls and myself back to Somerset as I’m not working at the moment as the job hunt here is so hard to get a job.
Thank you for taking the time to read this
From cindy


Hopeless March 4, 2016 at 7:01 pm

I have tried all of the above, nothing has changed and at this point I don’t think it will. I am just here watching left happen. I was born to suffer. None of my family understand how I feel inside. The only reason I continue to live is for my adult children. I have lost everything. I am sure God doesn’t love me and never has even from the time I was conceived.


Deanna February 22, 2016 at 9:58 pm

How do you change a life when you only make enough $$ to get by in the sh*ttiest apartment you can imagine? I can’t afford a life coach or a therapist- those people rape you monetarily. I can’t move. Trying to be in school is hard because I need to work and there is not enough time to do well at everything. Some people are given a leg up and it makes all the difference in their lives, although you hear from these people that they did it all on their own. Believe me, I’m trying. I’m exhausted.


Martha February 25, 2016 at 6:47 pm

Hello my name is Martha. I am 31 years old and I am a mommy to a 3 year old. Since I can remember, I’ve always wanted to do something in my life with meaning. I’ve always felt like I have a purpose but for years I haven’t been able to find that purpose. I had this dream to become a party/wedding planner but my attempts haven’t gotten me anywhere. I feel lost and stuck and I can’t stop beating myself up about what a lousy mom I am being. I want my daughter to have a great and successful future, but at the moment I don’t know how I will be able to give that to her. I am currently working a part time job but the pay is terrible and I just have no where my life is heading. Anyone one out there feel the same? Or has gone through something similar how did you overcome it?


Caroline March 13, 2016 at 6:53 am

Almost twenty years ago I was living in England, and things were working out nicely.Then my mother died, and I allowed myself to be bullied into returning to the US against my better judgment. Now I’m on SSI, existing below the poverty line struggling to pay rent, to eat and clothe myself. Depression is my constant companion, and my health is being challenged. I am the artistic type, and did hair and make-up on Madison Avenue back in the 80s. Have lost a lot of my edge and creative ability though. Would even become a webcam girl, but something always upsets the apple cart. How can I be helped? Thank you.


Harriet March 17, 2016 at 4:24 am

Thx for your heartwarming writing, my friend.
Well,although what’s been suggested does seem like a way out,provided if there is one…
The fact is I don’t have any family or friend or career or money,just my age of 25 and the beauty that will soon be fleeting away.
I was abused by my parents and my grandma from a very early age,and when conflicts occured,which was often,since I live have a rather big family tree,the rest of my relatives would come and help my family lock me up or kick me till I’m unconcious,shocking as it is,I was getting the best grades among all of my relatives’ kids and was the prettiest and humblest,the other two girls started dating different guys at a very early phase and have awful grades.But eventually they have a secure job and 401k and cars and a house thanks to their family’s help,I,in the meantime,witnessed my father (our only financial support)passed away,and in-between the whirl of my mom’s horrible response to this situation when she locked me in a dark room without seeing any hope or light for 5 consecutive months,subsequently when I finally got to go back to school I fell head over heels for a monster,who not only took advantage of me physically,but also poured me poisonous ideas about life and people,which made me lonely heart that’s been struggling in this twisted life feel even more painful and hopeless.All of my relationships after that had been disasters and my heart had hardened ever since and now I’m unable to feel or love.I then made several attempts in pursuing higher education,in which case I’d always got great marks but felt overwhelmed by reality and got bullied very often.My health condition was never good(I was born with asthma) and now we run out of money and I feel exhausted and want only to die.Funny it may seems,when I reached out for help,no one would offer a sympathetic ear or try to offer some ideas,let alone solutions.Some suggestions for someone like me,love?I still feel like I don’t deserve to die,while I’m still beautiful and talented despite all that I’ve been through…and I’d strived for what I know now,for the fact I’m Chinese but I speak fluent English(given the life I’ve lived).Seeing all those other kids from privileged families with no damage of soul and love from their family and a future before them,and when I’m really distraught since they haven’t been through what I’ve experienced,they always acted like I’m some whining bitch who’s making a fuss out of nothing,and that made me feel even more frustrated.All my former classmates who had been so much lesser than me are now very successful in all aspects of life.I dunno what to do really…I have made the decision to die but couldn’t resolute to a certain time for I know then there’s no going back.I had thought about getting vengeance on my family but that seemed a little far-fetched,given that I don’t even have the ability to take care of myself when I had the chance of education.I feel totally screwed,confused, despaired,and alone.The worst thing is?…When I finally met the guy I like and who’s shown real affection to me I had trouble believing that anything good could actually happen to me.


kim March 19, 2016 at 2:19 am

Hi Martha,

My problems is married 1o years engaged for 10. I’m the type of person that has always helped everyone, as result I am often used by some family members and friends(currently I have no friends). My husband says a lot of hurtful stuff at times some I deserve. At one point after trying to inform him of things going on he would ignore me or maybe he didn’t remember so I just did everything I could in the home. All he did was go to work . We stated a business which I also took care primarily. I thought since he worked full time I would do everything. After being downsized recently my life is turned upside down with depression which he does not understand (he has never been an emotional person with me ) he tells everyone he married me so I would have health insurance and someone to cook for him,. I know he has some health issues so I try not to upset him at all. But I’m feel so stuck cause sometimes he is ok . I am currently looking for a job but nothing due to my age. So much more to say but I am afraid to go on . I have made so many wrong choice, I feel that I am not good enough for him ,


phil March 25, 2016 at 10:02 am

I have just realised with some clarity that I have been bullied by my other half on repeated occasions. I have nobody to talk to about this or my feelings in ANY way. I applied for help at my Drs , that was 2 years ago and I’m still waiting. I have no back up or escape plan should I need it. I am at the lowest point in my life ever I find nothing laudable , I have not had 1 good nights sleep in 10 years. Its all nightmares that apparently show great anxiety and stress. 6 weeks ago I told her I was feeling a bit offish , well more than normal. Within a week she starts to have issues that out shadow mine. Last weekend we went to our local and I spoke with a nice friend of mine, good evening. I stay after wife and other friends leave…. all week she has been on at me about how its odd behaviour, I don’t have any friends for years then I get one and my wife is giving me grief for it but disguised as her feeling low. Waits till last thing at night to discuss things when I am up very early for work. Yesterday tells me she has come on and how her symptoms are different every time and that’s why she has been treating me this way.. then warns me how close she came to just walking out and I should be aware of this. in other words do what she wants when she wants or else….but then she asks me “we’re ok aren’t we?”. Control me for whatever reason. I have no savings so as to leave and no survival instinct left ,she however does…….


Old Dad April 3, 2016 at 11:44 pm

Hi. I wish I had someone to talk to. I’ve got a young wife who is stuck in Malaysia with my 7 month old son. I left a good marriage and sweet life and spoiled all that to run away with a 24 year old. My ex-wife won’t have anything to do with me now, of course, although she is kind enough not to hate me, in spite of what I did.

I love my little boy but with almost 40 years between my wife and I it will never work. We have no income and I’m stuck in another country after buying a company that turned out to have been a scam.

I have no friends here and I’m all alone and falling back in to bad addictive habits. I’ve never been a big drinker but now I drink every night by myself. My wife and I are on 14 hour different time clocks but that keeps us in a constant state of exhaustion with texting in the middle of the night.

Our conversations range from anger and frustration and worry and doubt to love talk and comforting each other in our terrible situation.

She is really struggling, taking care of a very active intelligent boy. She doesn’t really like it either and often talks about how she regrets her decision. She hates me one minute and loves me the next but is constantly worried about her security.

I really don’t even know why I’m saying all this. Its just that you’re the only person I have to talk to.


vee April 11, 2016 at 7:44 am

So considering quitting drinking but feel the only other option is AA. I’m VERY depressed and anxious dont want to do a thing except get in a relation that will make me feel “secure” even though it’s opposite. I want my own solution but dont know what it is. I’m looking inside. Feel like being alone but is so scary literally have very few friends or family. Need this void filled. Scared to do it. Sick of feeling sick and tired.


Catherine Cameron April 25, 2016 at 4:57 pm

I am 68 years old and retiring in June. Was so looking forward to playing golf bowls with my family and friends. I had been finding it very difficult to get accommodation, I am single. but luckily a house became
available in Jan/Feb. Got my keys on the 1st of February and was very excited with thought of decorating my flat. On he 14th of February I had an accident broken wrist, broken jaw so that was a set back. I
could not return to work at that time. My bosses have been extremely good to me financially so my plan was to return to work when able and work until end of June and take my retirement.

However now feeling I could not return I am in a panic and am terrified to go near the place. The thought of
going back to work is frightening the life out of me. I am having hot sweats, lack of sleep and bad dreams when I do sleep. I am thinking all the time about my childhood and it is driving me mad and making me so unhappy. It sounds pathetic after 11 years I cannot leave in the proper manner but I would need to be dragged back into work. I feel I owe this to the Company but I cannot see goodbye to them I would rather they just sent me my wages due and we could move on from their.

I have had a lot of support from my family and it is all done with love but I need to be quiet until I get through this time of my life. Lots of suggestions are being given to me and it just makes me feel a failure.I keep agreeing that I will try what they say but I cannot do it. I need some advice from an outside nature I
at the end of my tether and cannot cope. What suggestions can you give me.


taryn April 26, 2016 at 11:52 am

Hi my name is taryn i am just feeling really crap about life i cant get over the past i got my son taken out of my care cause i had a drug overdoes i now see my son every 2 weeks on a Saturday with my mum supervising me i have tryed to go to court so i could take charge and see him on my own but my ex his father and my ex mother just won’t believe i will change and they hate me so much i dont blame them but i cant take it back i am now going out with a guy and he does not know that i have got a son i dont know how to explain it my boyfriend is a sweet kind guy but has alot of trouble in the past with his own live but i would be lost without him do u ever think i would feel normal again


Tristen May 7, 2016 at 3:04 am

I have moved several times for love. Each time it’s failed and usually I move back. This time I moved and im alone. I know no one here really and the man I moved here for has really put me through a lot in the 5 years I’ve known him. I’m tired and exhausted. I’ve not even lived with him longer than 5 months and I think I won’t again. I feel finally like this is coming to a close for me with him as he continues to do the same things over and over to me mentally. I feel stuck, alone, financially strapped with no way out. I have a Bachelors degree from a school that does not seem to ever be able to obtain strong enough credibility for employers to hire me on for the field i studied in. I keep accumulating debt and really want to dig out of it. I want to gain my life back. My independence back again. All my bills in my name again and not have to worry about my on again/off again boyfriend paying my car insurance and phone bill. I want my life and independence back. I want to regain my own trust in myself back and I know having my independence and financial stability would do wonders for my self esteem. These things would help me move forward and get my self confindence back again. That’s what I really want right now more than anything in the world. My freedom back. And as for my relationship, I want the right man to find me for once and pursue me. I don’t want to chase anyone anymore. I deserve better. But first thing I need to do is really get my financial independence back! Any advise would be helpful!! I feel very stressed and trapped in a bad place right now. I want to try and make it happier while I’m here for another year. Find a way to use this time to gain my life back. Help me see clearer! Please?


Juhi May 17, 2016 at 9:00 am

Hi. I feel very alone in this world without being able to move further. I am in Bangalore. My native is NCR i.e Ghaziabad near Delhi. Till now I was in a long distance relationship. Now I came here so that I can meet my partner and enjoy life. But I dint. Two days I spent with him, but I found how dependent I am on him. I gave myself completely to him. With him, I feel I am a handicapped. He has been treating me like a child for so many years,taking care of me. But one thing he did wrong, he took my virginity that I am not sure but. When I go out with him, I dont feel much comfortable. We do not share anything. I am just busy in my thoughts, are we both right for each other? So he made a decision we should breakup. He is 4 years elder to me and not so beautiful. But he is tall and that way he has a good personality. He is very much caring and has all qualities like I can trust him, I can depend on him, he is a very good planner. My worries are that he is from different culture and i am from different. He is a south indian, I am a punjabi. So I feel scared that will I be able to spend whole life in a different culture far away from my parents. I am in a kind of depression because i am not able to take him out of my life because of all the qualities that he has. I could not make my career also as he came in my life when I was in 12th standard. If I lose him, I am scared I will not be able to make my career as well. So at this of life, neither I have him nor career. He has to get married next year as he will turn 28 but I am still 23 and not prepared for marriage. What should I do?


Marie May 18, 2016 at 8:42 pm

Hello there, I am 47 and have never had a career. I have been looking after my children for the last several years, now they’re growing up I want to have a career. I just don’t know what to do, where to start. I do have an interest in admin but am not sure if this is what I really want to do. I can’t afford to do lots of courses. It’s got to the point now where I have no idea, I feel I can’t do anything and I’m not good enough. I’m prepared to work hard but haven’t got a clue and now it’s really getting me down. I want a purpose at my time of life.


Feel like a horrible mom June 7, 2016 at 4:45 pm

My 19-year-old son is autistic, but high functioning. Almost since he was born, we’ve had issues with him. He barely made it through high school, but he did pass. He got in with a group of troubled kids and everything has escalated since. My husband kicked him out of the house, and he’d already been in a behavioral facility. We let him back in with the stipulation that, if he didn’t get hired at a job which was set up for him, due to a failed drug test, he would be kicked out again. He failed the drug test, and my husband said it was my turn to kick him out. So I did. It was the most heartbreaking thing. Now my son is living in a run-down hotel with a con artist, and neither one really has any kind of job. My son calls me all the time for money, but we had made the decision, with a therapist, that we would not give him money. This morning, when I looked out the window, I saw his van parked in our back yard as he had nowhere to sleep as he can’t pay the rest of the hotel charges. I’ve been trying so hard to stay positive and do what I can. I think I blame my husband for making me kick my son out, and I blame myself for not preparing my child to survive in this world. I’m already on anti-depressants and anxiety medication. It doesn’t seem to touch my symptoms anymore. I feel so lost even though I have a loving family and good friends. I just want something good to happen for my son.


romina June 13, 2016 at 8:35 am

I’m mostly unemployed right now and I know I need help. If you could couch me in a free session I would truly appreciate it! Romina


chizoba June 13, 2016 at 8:16 pm

Hi, I am feeling stucked,in my new job because my boss is messing with my brain,a business I started 6years ago all packed up I don’t know we’re to start,no money no friends, I will like to relocate for a period of time and concentrate on my writing and other things I want to to do. Pls how do I come out of this fog?thanks


Candace June 16, 2016 at 3:45 pm

Hi Marthe. My name is Candace McGee. This is my first time ever reaching out. I happen to google exactly how I feel and The Freedom Experiment popped up. I feeling exactly how you explained it in your words. I feel trapped. I’ve been at my job for 3 years. Stressful
.but wonderful job. But for some odd reason im not happy. With this job I got a nice car..health insurance..tuition reimbursement..basically stabilty. But thats not enough. Im tired. This job is a burden. Im not happy. I dont want to leave then I’ll lose everything. And i built myself there..i even became a group leader..that was never on my mind..so i know im good at what i do but why am i soooo exhausted? Im lonely. I sleep alone. No friends
Moved to Tennessee from Indiana to maybe change the scenery to see if thats what i needed…nope. feeling is still there. Somethin missing. I feel like im living to die. When i think of all the things i really want i get this feeling of eagerness and excitement. I literally take myself there in my mind. I wish i was prettier. Smaller. I want to be wanted and called beautiful. Then i feel like i want too much and im living a fairytale. Im human. I wanna leave so bad. Then what? Go find another stressful job? Thats worse then mines now? I dont know where im going in life…i dont know where to start or stop. Im loving the same guy who just abuses me mentally..one reason i moved..but im so lonely i just want to go back and let him do what he want..at least somebody will be there sometimes..lol. im hurting. Im a hurting…undecided..miserable..stupid creature. I just want to smile oneday because im really happy..not becaue someone made me laugh..but because im really happy. Where is that life? How did i create this reality? How can i begin to create a new one??? Help. I literally crying out.


Siddhesh June 16, 2016 at 10:08 pm

It was nice to read it but please I need some tips on how to concentrate on my studies I’ve reached class 11 but I still take studies very casually all my peers are outrunning me.I am so confused right now.


Tresha June 22, 2016 at 9:51 am

I don’t know how it really happened, all of a sudden I fell in love with a guy I had no respect for, wasn’t attracted to. The more time I spent alone with him strange feelings of he’s the one came to me. Then he became mean, abusive, I feel scared to move on,he lives around the corner from me


david page July 1, 2016 at 11:36 am

Ive shared a tuberlent life with a family friend & feels hes turning on me as Ive got mental health
problems now and have no family to help me and don’t no were to turn could any one give me some advice please


tracy July 2, 2016 at 6:34 pm

I am finding things a real struggle at the moment I keep beating myself up over decisions I have made recently when it comes to trying to find a better regular weekly or daily hours job.I doubt myself constantly and feel guilty for being so reliant on family and my partner.i got made redundant back in December 2015 and even though I currently work during the school holidays as a playworker with disabled kids which I love and enjoy I can,t seem to decided what else work wise it is I want to be doing. I know I can,t go on with this pattern of thinking as it’s getting me know where all this spaghetti head of negative thoughts feelings and emotions. Yet I am also perimenopausal with night sweats and hot flushes and headaches I am sometimes tired and just so bored and fed up with my situation, I know I can,t keep on sweeping things under the carpet either hoping things simple will go away or change while I sit back and do nothing apart from keep on running to mum and dad’s where I feel I have at least someone around who can take my mind away from my situation for a while so I don,t have to keep on over thinking about how I’m going to get myself out of this hole and rut I have dug myself in .


Divy July 4, 2016 at 11:37 am

Hello,I am really very stucked in my life i feel my self an alcoholic the day i start up with my college and all i feel myself secured with alchol but the time day drops at evening i dont know what happrns to me i can’t control myself from drinking please sir i urge to suggest me n better option so i can live mylife in better way because of this i have lossed my very loved now please help me sir….


Zina July 4, 2016 at 1:59 pm

HI Marthe, i am glad i came across this website. I usually deal with my stress or depression my own way, i ignore it, but lately its been too hard to ignore. Its not affecting me but the people around me as well. I am so deeply depressed, i dont seem to be able to see any light in the tunnel. I am 38 years old, i studied most of my life, even did my doctoral studies. A year ago I changed my life, i got married and moved to the country of my husband. I gave up my job, came to a new countre where i dont speak the language and the whole year has been a disaster for me, i started feeling more and more useless, helpless, and depressed because while learning the language I decided to start replying to job ads but have not been successful. My husband does not understand why I am depressed. I am depressed because I gave up my job, my family who i am very close to, and i see no perspective in this new country or anywhere else because I dont have a big working experience etc, plus i put on some weight, and the marriage wishes for the best as well. I have been trying to focus on one thing at a time to deal with the things but cannot say i succeeded, so feeling complete failure. Thank you for listening, Zina


Brandi July 7, 2016 at 1:39 am

Hello Marthie I came to your article for advice and it’s helped me think. I’ve been living in a group home for five months now and I love my roommates but I no longer like the staff. If anything I would rather not have anything to do with them. I felt like I’ve lost my freedom to be an independent adult And I feel like a child. I don’t get along with the staff any longer and they never listen! They always interrupt me talk over me and cut me off saying they don’t want to hear anything I have to say and they have constantly accused me of being a liar and told others not to listen to me called me names gossiped in their native language behind my back and they keep threatening me with a thirty days notice. There’s also too many unfair rules and they’re far too strict. I understand this is policy but I’m SICK of the disrespect so I’ve began defending myself and not holding anything I want to say back and I’ve come to the point where I just don’t give a damn anymore. I feel trapped because I don’t make alot of money to cover rent anywhere else I can only afford up to 600$ and that means I’m stuck in this difficult situation and have to give up my fishes and go to another group home that could be much worse than this. Don’t get me wrong I love the house I love the free Wi-Fi and my roommates but I can’t stand the staff. Please help?



Tione July 8, 2016 at 1:29 am

Im 29 and I have 3 kids my older two father is deceased and the other is just not there on top of that I have anxiety and social phobia I lost majority of my interest for this world I know what I want and would like getting to it is my biggest problem because mentality Im very drained and its like Im alive still dead on the inside I feel like I waisted so much time being stuck I want a better life and a better me but somtimes I just dont see me getting there


Julie July 13, 2016 at 10:17 am

Hello I am at my lowest point in my head that I am lost completely trying to figure out how to get myself out of bed just to go lay on the couch and watch t.v. I have 2 babies that are a year and 3 days apart and are getting older each day that I’m allowing to keep passing by in my eyes that I have to stop relaying on my issues with being stuck in a house with people that are constantly being able to take each day as they feel like it. I allowed myself to become a person who I can’t stand anymore. I had to become so lost in my life and my choices that I allowed myself to become a toy doll to everyone that I opened up to about my feelings and wanted answers to fixing the problem. I had the lifestyle that I was okay with being stuck in that I tried to change each problem each day little by little but I knew I was stuck being able to push to hard to change things that I wanted but fear of being homeless for pushing to hard on myself. Then I found out that I was being so lost in trying to blind myself with reality that I would be okay with knowing the truth deep inside my mind that I just focused on trying to figure out how to get myself able to live on my own one day so I tried to get my life together by going to school and focused on staying in so I couldn’t get my focus thrown off of the plans and that I have to start socializing to people the truth I buried in my head about everything then I was going to school and everything was going okay enough until I had a new class and there was a girl I used to hangout with and party. That I started to look at the life I had before and started missing the partying that I came to start taking little more focus on how I been doing everything I had to that I felt the need to able to take a break with trying to keep focused on being a lie to my own mind to believe. That I started focusing on being a bit of happiness of being free from the truth that I can see but I was doing so much more time telling myself that I can make it through everything in my life and still have a chance to being able to graduate and found a job to get myself out of the situation I had to be in. That I started losing my mind with disgusting images and I started hooking up with anyone who I wanted to. That I allowed myself to finally really see the truth that I have buried but I got crushed because I literally saw my brother kiss the guy who I choose to lie about thinking he was gay. And then I got into a rage of sickness and anger that I just focused on swinging on both of them and then my sister calls the only person I knew that I cared about but I didn’t want to be pushed out his life again so I couldn’t take the chance of getting myself to keep seeing him until the night it all happened then I was going through a mental problem and homeless problem that he just offered everything to me that I was going to be okay and truly happy. But I honestly didn’t see the person who he became then found out I was pregnant and that there was a chance of being either of their baby’s that I feel deep into depression and confusion about the way I couldn’t get myself out of that I had to believe everything and everyone around me that could help me at all. I believed the truth that he was really going O help me and then I started seeing things that I was told tat he was just messing with drugs and lost everything. But I really couldn’t see that so I believed we can overcome anything else is telling us won’t work and the fact that he was redoing his house before he was put in the hospital for almost dieing that he was trying to fix the house but only had certain money and certain strength of doing anything without hurting himself agan. That we became so envoled with being stuck in the same room everyday and the fact that everyone we knew was telling us the things they see and we are both foolish for believing in each other enough to raise a child the right way that I had to stuck counting on the person I truly couldn’t stand listening to or the fact of needing the money that she was giving us the days kept going by and my eyes were opening up to the truth that I was stuck being to have to choose from the worst feeling of completely torn apart from everyone that I have no clue what I couldn’t change and that I could change the little bit of him enough to believe that we can be okay but then I got stuck doing the lieing and believing to get the truth he said to me that I pushed to much to change him that we snapped into hating each other and fighting each other and fist fighting each other and I was stuck being with junkies all around me that I had to live with my daughter growing up to see the truth. But I couldn’t find any peace with living in the house with my family that I went back to him and he started to get us the house we needed and the help he was promising me that I had be able to feed off of believing until we got to bad and then we split up again and then this happened so much that I had enough of fighting with him to see the problems and I just became his personal pillow and the personal bank and then we started to get little things that we needed that we started being happier than I found out I was pregnant again then I couldn’t find any once of hope in knowing we will be okay that I had enough of helping myself be the person who has to be emotionally ready to face facts about being able to find something that could be possible for us to get ourselves together to create a honest future that we became just toys in each other’s lifes the kids where my only concern to get a life of stability and then I found out so much false hope with being able to even move around without being told what needed to be done through the day except that I had to become the person that had to lie and freak out on my family for money to try and keep ourselves satisfied with knowing we can be okay each day as being friendly and helpful to each other to a certain point then got pushed down to breaking point and then was forced to leave for a couple of hours to sometimes days and each time we were apart from each other we got shitty feelings of loosing the way I just built my mind on becoming the person who he wanted and that I had to be stuck begging and crying for him to let us come home and the fact that he was being so selfish and knowing that he can be anyway he wanted to be and I was lieing to myself that he could have cared again for the way we can get better for the kids until the end of the 2 year when we finally got the house done to move around in and then I started being smarter with telling myself he is really unbelievable and that he couldn’t care enough about us that I tried to get more financing help from my mom that I have to constantly fight with her and brother of getting told I’m a retard and I will be the person who my sisters became which was taking pills and drinking until they finally just gave their kids to their baby’s father. I had to cry and fight to get the truth from myself that I have to change him and my mom to give me a home to raise the kids and the money to keep a little bit of the upper hand to have to be treated nicer and that I needed help with the kids. And then we had my mother move in and that is when I strongly believedthat I can’t believe I am so easily managed by their lives and the only thing they can give me is a crazy month of selfish behavior and that I was constantly being pushed and pulled to getting a honest answer from the truth that everyone was trying to lie about how I was truly feeling and completely understanding them enough to being the one thing that made me feel like I am stuck feeling. I hate taking care of all the begging and crying for them to change themselves to help me with the only thing I needed to be able to keep going in a circle of fights and hearing the truth that everyone was blaming the other person for my mistakes of giving my focus of life to change them. That I started focusing on being a lie to myself about the way I just apparently really felt that I was doing the only thing I can to make sure I get my future where I want it and that I was being a mother that was caring about the way we all have to pretend that we can make it to a point of where we keep promising to each other and that I was being a good mom in their eyes. I have to stop doing this to myself just a reminder that I have to be a mom again and I have to clean up everything and that my kids are worth getting the most of my attention that I have to change myself to become a person who can be happy about myself and that I can teach them how to learn things that they should know and that I have to stop fighting with everyone else to change and to care enough about the truth which is the kids being loved. I know that I have to get out of this feeling of being stuck in my own head of problems and issues that I hate myself for allowing myself to deal with living my life around the people who I think will help me and will be able to tell me the truth that I need to hear just to make it happen.


Ricardo July 17, 2016 at 7:37 am

Hello Marthie, I have been doing Real Estate for years now, I hate it, and I just don’t know how to do anything else…I wish with all my heart that I could get out of it. I hate mathematics, I hate everything that involves equations and square footages and everything else that comes with it. I just want out, I can’t find a way to, and do not know what to do besides dealing with people, and faking my smile and pretending to like what I do just to earn their trust. I am sick of it. Please help…point me to some direction…I can’t wait to here from you.


Matto July 20, 2016 at 2:19 am

You are describing my case exactly, well I feel my degree and work is not what I love to do, so now I am thinking what do I love most so I can pursue,.. plus I got stuck in bad place.. country and I can’t leave because of my financial status,, my work sucks..I feel people here sucks as well.. hehe

I just feel I am in the wrong place..I think about suicide at times but I still have a tiny thread of hope which is stopping me ;(

Thank you.

Have a nice day!


Anon August 1, 2016 at 6:20 am

I’ve turned 24 years old. I’m a student and finish in 9 months. I’m in a toxic relationship of 2.5 years and have known this guy since I was 14 years old. I work at a bad job that pays me minimum wage with bad hours and I can barely survive. I need to leave and move out this house I share with my boyfriend but have no money to do so. I feel stuck and suffocated. I’m sleeping most of the day because I’m finding it hard. I keep thinking that what happens if I leave this relationship and ruin the chance for it to reach its potential? What happens if he gets better? It’s so hard… I’ve surrendered to the fact my life is falling apart.


Ann August 1, 2016 at 12:30 pm

That all sounds nice, but it is not always that simple. Im in chronic health and on sickness benefit. Im in a rotten council flat with horrible neighbours and having zero money or any way of getting anything better. There is a list to move based on points, I dont have enough; also the only things that come up as just as grim. I have no help at all, no one to help me just me. I AM stuck.


zak September 10, 2016 at 2:36 am

Hi Ann ,

I hope things will get better , you should thanks god that you are getting sickness benefit at least to support your self with medicines , I am in a chronic health and I lost my job and have loans and I have no sickness benefits .

In this life we should be strong by looking at those people who are worst than us .

I am hoping everything will be ok for you , and things will get better soon


Son August 1, 2016 at 5:58 pm

I don’t know how to move on from all this cos everywhere I go it just seems to be about hitting me down the people around me keep adding to my pressure….. Because they feel there jobs are threatened cos of me…. My work place is more like my home I’m there more then I am at home…..and yet what used to be s place I went to get away from my problems….. It’s hard to get up and want to go to work. From day one they have made my life a living hell!! I was there for two weeks and was sexually assaulted and I went to my boss but they went and told the employee what I said’
So he approached me and told me he had been there longer them me so I would be the first one to go…. Not him!! And I couldn’t believe they did me wrong and they had clearly no respect for me by telling him and leaving for the day… So it continued happening for 6 months … Cos I spoke up once and was ignored!!

Then it was never mentioned again and one day I was told I didn’t care about my job and was late everyday cos I don’t care….. But I would always think what’s he gonna do today and always anxietie it was hard to go to work knowing he did this everyday…. So I spoke up and was neglected once again they kept it hush hush transferred him and o kept working…. But have evidence of this happening before I was ever worked there!! So this is why it was kept quiet cos they could have prevented this happening… Never asked me how I was going and not even counciling!!! But wait then I have a car accident a man walke out in front of my car and as a result was killed…. And taken into custardy for reckless driving causing death but I wasn’t speeding or on drugs…. To them letting me go and never hearing from them again no support or help to see how I was dealing or to give me a copy of the police report…. And since then I want to take my life and I am financially in trouble and cos I had no answers it was mentally hearting at no one offered support just bills I was left without a car and had to pay for a rental and now am in so much debit I don’t understand how his family would have gotten a payout but I’m left to see my life fall apart all so he could help his family and the police have helped by keeping me in the dark I have never been given the police report after numbers of attempts…. No closer!!! But the family got ther finaciallys…. I might sound selfish but he wanted to end his life but what he had don’t is ended his own and now I feel the same how is this fair and allowed to happen??? Oh and now they want to take my license cos of 15 points accumulated in 3 years !!! So they can do this and not be held reliable for the outcome to my life cos of these things I try and see the bigger picture and move on!! But how can I be so positive even after the accident they tried harder to get me fired at work…. How can they try and say I’m crazy and need mental help now…. People knew all this but they let it continue…. No one has stood up in my defence!! And make it stop!! So how can I if I’m not supported!!!


Helen August 4, 2016 at 4:30 pm

Hi, I am 70 years old and lost, stuck, immobile, etc. I thought I was doing ok up to about 12 years ago. At that time I met and married. It ended with him moving out at my request after I found out he wasn’t honest or faithful. Unfortunately, he passed and left a lot of bills. I tried to handle them but ended up having to file bankruptcy five years ago. I’m almost finished with that but in the process it has taken pretty much all my funds. During all that my mother and two sisters passed in a 2 year span. I also lost my lab, which was just as devastating to me. My husband passed without a will so I’m in the middle of a probate for that. There’s no money to be had, he had no assets. I’m left with a mortgage and basically no funds. The house was put into the bankruptcy because they changed me from chapter 13 to 7 due to a small inheritance from my mother. Well, the inheritance is pretty much gone from all this. I don’t know what to do anymore. I cry most of the time, I try to figure out what my options are, but I know I’m not thinking clearly. The only funds I will have to live on are my social security and a very small amount of retirement. I have been thinking about moving out to the country somewhere, maybe I could live more cheaply that way. The only thing is, at my age it fills me with panic to move away from what little family I have left…..an aunt in one city and cousins in another. I’ve looked at land close to both and there’s nothing I could afford. I’ve looked at land in Arkansas, not real cheap but cheaper. I’m just not sure if I could make a move like that any more. I’d be on my own totally and I think that’s what is scaring me. I’m drowning.


Sinchana Devdar August 12, 2016 at 6:39 pm

Hello guys,
Can anyone help me, I am feeling very low as I took my life very lightly for which I have no where way towards a bright future I took studies lightly n didn’t complete my graduation and now struggling with my life now m 26 and another half life I would be there or not but everything is lost forever now I am trying to do something but I am not getting any way towards any or the aim I have. I took life very lightly now I am regretting very badly my whole family is relying on me but I am helpless. I tried to take my life for about 12 to 13 times but some how my family is saving me and my alive. I getting dumped in all the decisions that I have taken till now. What should I do please hwlp


sudhansu August 16, 2016 at 8:35 pm

Hello past two year nine months i dont have a job…trying upto extreme limit with lower one also…but not possible to get.spending all of my money and lot of credit is going on…too much difficult to maintain my family…i think my life is no more for this world…In this juncture no one is of mine,,,Having an experieced engineer this type of situation i faced a lot….All ways the questonair section comes to mind but no answer…Such a pathetic life is going on….


Vanessa Hintz August 17, 2016 at 3:53 am

I just feel like I can’t get out of this no good town and I want to get out and enjoy life I don’t want to be with my husband because deep inside I know I’m truley not happy with him I’m just settling trust and love we broke 2years ago but others no cummunicating with him and I don’t want to live being miserable not happy with the person I’m with And he makes it very difficult to leave he threatens he will kill him self and causes drama with me and family theres no talking him with out him understanding I’m not truley happy but I always run to him when things aren’t going goo for me we been seperated last year I just recently ran to him again and it goes straight to being to get and starting to build are life all over beciase he gave up when we were seperated I’ feel like I’m not who and what I want to be in life maybe it’s my fault from holding back all the things I should of said of how I was really feel I g and what I wanted I don’t know


sam August 19, 2016 at 10:09 pm

hi life coach and therapy hmmmm that costs a lot of money are you saying there is no hope for the poor to find a way, and don’t start to mention free therapy cause its crap but it also doesn’t exist in other countries non american/european countries. so what advise to you have for real people? non ?


Christine August 24, 2016 at 2:45 am

Hello. I am currently living with my boyfriend of 1.5 years. I had an unplanned baby with him 4 months ago. I am 20 years old and I’m pretty sure my life is over. Just after I met my boyfriend, I went to Canada to live my dream for a year (travelling around and meeting new people and learning lots and just being young). But because I had just fallen in love with him a few months before, I couldn’t bare it and ended up flying back home after only a month away just to be with him. I never intended on marrying him, but I didn’t want to leave him. The best option seemed to move in with him after having the baby. So now I am super unhappy. I don’t want to be a mother, but I love my baby and I wouldn’t be happy if I were to leave her with her father and go and live my dream. I don’t want to break it off with my boyfriend either because I don’t want my daughter to grow up in a broken home. That would suck for her and for me too. I regret coming back from Canada so much. I feel like the only way I can be happy is to change the past, which is of course not going to happen. Not sure if anyone is reading this but any ideas are appreciated, otherwise I think I am just going to die soon.


Wendy August 29, 2016 at 11:22 pm

I need a job bad. I live with my parents. I’m on disability. Everything sucks. I’m 32 and my life has no meaning. Sometimes I think it would be best to just kill myself to put myself out of my misery. I want to work so bad but I get nowhere. Oh yeah, my disability? It’s anxiety and severe depression. So job interviews are not the best. I hate my life. I want to work so bad and live on my own.


Chaden October 1, 2016 at 12:55 pm

I know all the motivational quotes sound pointless when depression takes over but I think killing won’t solve anything. Just remember you only live once. So break free of whatever that is holding you back and paint the kinda life u want :)


Annalisa September 7, 2016 at 11:34 pm

I am 37 and I am despondent about the way my life has gone. It’s only going to get worse so Right now I am at a point where I am really struggling to see the point in going on. Honestly I am only still here because I wouldn’t want to hurt my parents.
I have never been married, not even close. No man has ever really loved me. I used to think the
Problem was them but in the past couple of years, I realized
That it’s me. It’s like I keep picking the same type of person.
Someone who isn’t capable of loving me due to substance abuse problems and other issues.
I’m with a guy now that I thought would work out with at first. I thought he’d get on his feet and we could have a life together. Here I am three years later and I’m still with him even though he won’t work a job that
Where he gets more than 20 hours a week and he has no money. He is also a single dad of two wonderful
Kids and lives at home with his parents on the days that he isn’t at my house
I initially had no problem with it at first because I realize that he needs the help as the kids mother is not
In their lives. He has made it clear without saying it that he’d rather blow the money he gets on weed and stay at his job that doesn’t drug test him instead of working toward the goal of getting our own place together with his kids. I couldn’t have children of my own due to medical issues so I was so happy that I would finally be able to share all the love that I had at one time to give with them. They are great kids and I love them dearly. It’s not ever going to happen though, I see now that I would just have to support him and his kids. Which if he was trying to do better I wouldn’t mind doing that for awhile. I see now that he never had any intention of this, and that I am a fool for thinking that this would work out.
I feel like at this point he is just using me because I have my own place and he can go there to escape from his kids. All he does is bitch about his situation but will do nothing to change it.
It’s all noise though because he apparently is happy with the way things are. No responsibility on him.
I feel so stupid for wasting my time but I am too cowardly to end it. Mostly because he wouldn’t even care.
He’d just say ok and then I’d just go back to being utterly alone again.
I’ve been alone for most of my life and I’m tired of it.
I am alone now in this relationship so I don’t know why I am holding on.
I make enough money to support myself but it’s a dead end job. If I quit though I’d have to move in with my parents because I live check to check and have no money saved. In have made some really bad choices
That I am paying for now.
I can barely get out bed most days. I am suicidally depressed. I think everyday how easy it would be
To say fuck it and buy a bus ticket to SF and jump off of the Golden Gate Bridge. If it wasn’t for my family I would walk away from it all right now and do it. There’s nothing to look forward to I feel like I have died inside and now I’m just waiting around to physically die.
There’s more I could say about my miserable failure of a life but I think that this is the straw that broke the camels back. It’s all my fault i take full responsibility for being a stupid idiot and making bad choices about love, money and other things. I am too old to start over only to fail miserably again.


wendi September 8, 2016 at 6:51 pm

It’s true. I do know what I could do to at least TRY to “fix” my life. But it would involve hurting terribly the person I married a little over a year ago and whom I love very much. Our dreams don’t mesh. He knows. We “work on it”. We compromise. But there is the little voice inside of me who knows I “gave in”–I put my wings back into the box I pulled them out of when I got divorced about 4 years ago. It’s sad to say I wish I hadn’t met him, but… Throughout my life I was always “with someone” and limited myself to “adventure” that wouldn’t hurt them and their needs. Now, because I seem to be developing cognitive issues, I realize it’s now too late to fix it. So I try to love the relative financial security, house, steady full-time job and availability of hugs I have right now. But when I wake a little early, or something happens to derail my day’s plans or … just ANYTHING triggers it, I realize that the life I dreamed of living and that I always put off until “someday”–moving around the country, living different places, trying different jobs–just isn’t going to happen. I’m relatively “secure” and comfortable, but feel the adventure of life has passed me by because 1) instead of resisting a steady relationship and staying solo, I “got attached” to someone yet again; 2) I won’t hurt this person I now have who loves me very much and does not share my “wild” dreams, and 3) my brain power, and hence my confidence, are declining. It’s sad, but it’s just too late. So if you’re young… stay on your own and find out who you can be before you hitch your world to someone else’s.


zak September 10, 2016 at 2:31 am

Hi .
Thank you very much for this blog , it helped me to chill and relax when I was reading it .

Well , I am 27 living with my parents now , I had a wonderful life one year ago I built my career I bought a nice car I traveled . I was so happy and growing in my career . Then suddenly and sadly I lost my job , and I got engaged with the girl that I love , after one month I found another job which it didnt last with me for 3 months and me and my team got fired ( terminated ) because they could’t afford our salaries because the business was down .

I after all these incidents in my life now I feel depressed and hopeless , now it has been more than 5 months I am looking for a job , and I have bills and loans to pay . and the problem is any step I do it results a negative outcome , sometimes I just feel like something went wrong in my soul . I feel like that green plant that nobody is taking care of and it is dying slowly .

to overcome what is happening in my life , last 2 months i decided to fly back to my home country for summer holiday , I told my self that being depressed is not a solution and nothing will change , I had nice holidays and am trying to live normal even that am not financially good . and now after coming back here and start again the journey of looking for a job has made depressed again .

I hope things will be good after reading this blog


Victoria September 13, 2016 at 11:28 am

I am stuck in a job that I love so much but the environment is so hostile, I have been moved twice within the organization and twice I have proven myself with outstanding results but it comes at a huge cost, conflicts and all sorts of organizational politicking. My case is always let’s do it for the good of the organization, it disarms but they get me in other areas, making life unbearable, its affecting my personal relationship, health, working late hours (6pm is closing very early), my boss ensures this. Despite the hours, results that even get external commendation no promotion or recognition for the work done.

I have talked it over with my boss stating how I feel “Certain powers do not want to see me make progress almost like sabotage my efforts to keep me down ” because I am passionate (this is not seen as a positive trait) .

it took me many years to get this job, from which i was able to improve my life. Should I leave? I have several financial obligations and a key goal to achieve i.e. move to my own place. My job seemed to be the only area of my life that was making progress ( 41 years old single female living with parents ). I dread going to work these days, everyday is one drama or the other. I am proud of what I have achieved on my job so far even if no one acknowledges it. It looks very good on my CV but that’s where it ends.


Janice Gilder September 27, 2016 at 1:03 pm

Hi Marthe, I am in the middle of a mid-life crisis I think. I am 51 and have been stuck in the same situation for years. While I have lots to be thankful for, a job, a cosy home of my own, a young son, friends and family I have felt for a long-time that something is missing and I just can’t seem to move forward. I have always lacked confidence in the way I feel about my intelligence and in my appearance. As a youngster I was considered by my parents to not be very bright and a bit lazy. I think I had some learning difficulties and struggled at school to concentrate and apply myself. My father yelled at me and got very, very angry at me for not being able to answer 11+ maths problems. I felt afraid and diminished as a child (I was around 10 years old when this was happening and it seemed to go on for a very long time) and the more I was yelled at and put down for not being very bright the worse my confidence became. I then found I didn’t want to apply myself to anything much, even things I thought I was really interested in and was able to do well. I have been like it ever since, never believing that anything I do is quite good enough to make it in the world. I loved drama and performing arts and was quite good at it at college but never had the confidence to follow it through after I graduated (aged 30). I certainly didn’t have the confidence to go into teaching which would have been the most obvious option for me at the time. I am now a legal secretary just trying to make ends meet for me and my son and it just goes against the grain of who I feel I really am. Also, I have a very small head at 53cm and so I wonder if I really am a bit thick because I have a smaller brain. When I asked my dad about this I was told I had inherited this from my maternal grandmother and she did actually not have a great academic leaning.

However, to try and balance all this negativity a bit, things were not all bad in my childhood. Mostly we had fun and our parents were loving and provided very well for us. We were punished when it was felt appropriate (albeit I never advocate hidings for children but that is just what happened in the 60s and 70s) and we were taken swimming, for cycle rides and went on lovely holidays regularly. But, unfortunately what stands out in my mind is this awful feeling that I just didn’t measure up, that I wasn’t good enough as who I was and the brain wiring that I was born with.

I do however have a good relationship with dad now which is a good thing and is important as we are none of us getting any younger. I can forgive but sadly I find it incredibly difficult to forget.

When I was 3 my baby brother died at the age of 18 months from cancer after many months of being incredibly sick and poorly. My parents adopted a baby boy when I was five years old who turned out to be vastly brighter than me and went on to study at Oxford University. I feel that I have lived perpetually in his shadow. When I was 16 my mother died of cancer after a five-year long battle. If my long-term memory serves me right, the tension, pain and grief in the household around both the untimely death of my brother and my mother was overwhelming and I imagine that has had a profound effect on me too.

My dad married his second wife almost exactly a year to the day after my mother’s death and she was incredibly vindictive and manipulative and never really liked me or my adopted brother. I was ousted out of the house at the age of 17 to go and live in digs. My dad was under the thumb and had no choice but to let it happen. The only blessing that ever came out of this marriage was my young half-sister who now is one of my best friends and I am very close to her.

I have never had a proper loving relationship either. I have only ever managed to hook up with men who are drinkers or losers and men who are mothers’ boys who have no get up and go and no money, i.e. my son’s dad!

While I have struggled at random times over the years with these problems, it is only recently that it has dawned on me that I have let my life slip by and not ventured out to try and attain the lifestyle I would have loved. I have never found that inner self-love and confidence that some people, especially very successful people, exude and you know they have been loved unconditionally as kids and also have not suffered the desperate trauma of illness and death and has blackened my family’s door.

I wonder what the solution is to help me get over this before it is too late. I don’t want to be sitting here in another 10 years’ time, when I am 61 and saying the same things and I haven’t moved on. I have been single now for 10 years despite getting out more nowadays with social groups and I just don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I desperately want to love myself a bit more, accept the way I look and have the confidence to excel but all this is just holding me back. I am longing for that dramatic change in my thinking and I do feel that the energy has been sucked out of me. I am unsure as to where to turn next.
Regards J


Dominique Bellonte September 29, 2016 at 6:03 am

Two of my 5 children have a disability.
One girl now 33 has been in a group home for 6 ears.
My other girl, adopted is 28, leaves at home with me. I am 69. Father left 16 years ago and never contact nor help. 2 married boys52 and 46 never contact nor help. 1 boy 47 leaves away and visit at Christmas and calls.
I need my 28 years old to be in her own place, with people her own age. Not with an old lady like me. She needs a carer for some of her needs. She is lovely and gentle.
I am the one asking for a place in the world for my daughter. It is her right.
I am at the end of my rope and need help to find a place for her.


Martine November 22, 2016 at 12:21 am

Tu peux me telephonner si tu veux. J’ai toujours le meme mobile phone. Sa me fait de la peine de voir que tu es toujours dans la meme situation!


Chaden October 1, 2016 at 12:52 pm

It’s been 21 years since I have been trying to free myself from my abusive father. Where I come from there are no jobs available for you to pay the college fee as well as survive on your own. So until u get a proper full time job which u don’t unless u graduate,u need to depend on your parents. Tons of years until I finally free myself from him. The thought of waiting more is killing me and I just don’t feel alive. I am stuck.


Elizabeth nakaye October 8, 2016 at 3:09 pm

thanks for the advise indeed.it has made me calm down tho for me am going thru a tough time where by my business is not working as I expected .and I don’t even have money to shift to a new business location. I only have God to lean on .I have spent three years working with nothing to show DAT I have been working.so disgusting


mel October 16, 2016 at 12:34 am

I’m in a very low place in my life right now and can’t trust my own decisions. I’ve worked in my field of wildlife care for 20 years. I do live my job and I’m very good at it. 5 years ago I won a competition for my dream job at a wildlife park in Newfoundland. I moved at my own expense. Long story short the employer lied to me and I witnessed horrific negligence at this park. I reported it and the employer eventually terminated me. It’s been 2 years and I’m still trying to stand up for the animals and my rights. They have been falsifying documents and threatening people from coming forward to back up my claims. I finally left and moved across the country to another facility, but it’s also very toxic and they treat the employees badly. I’m 45 and I don’t know what to do. They have cut our shifts at the new place I’m at and I’m paying rent plus the mortgage I had back in Newfoundland. I can’t sell right now because I would take a large loss and that’s even if I could find a buyer. I just feel so discouraged with life and like my career that I love it over. I don’t have the energy or money to start over again and no one is going to hire me in my field at 45.


Karen October 18, 2016 at 2:33 pm

I just turned 34 and I think I’m having an early mid life crisis. I I missed out on a ton of experiences you’re supposed to have in your 20’s. I had friends and I socialized, dated a handful of guys but none ever worked out. I was getting ghosted by guys before that was even a thing. My friends would go through boyfriends every few months and I would go years between dates. I rarely even get approached by guys when I go out now. I tried online dating and didn’t get anywhere. I never got to experience traveling with a boyfriend or even with friends. i didn’t go away to school and didn’t get to study abroad. I never got to take a gap year and travel. I went to school for education. I got my Bachelor’s at 25 and a Master’s Degree at 30. All I could find was a substitute teaching gig for about 5 years and a $12 an hour part time tutoring job. It’s impossible to save money. I have a $640 student loan that I already paid $21,00 on. I gave up an took a different full time job where I make 44,00/yr. It’s better money but it’s still not enough to be on my own. I still have to live with my parents because I can’t afford my own. I’m dealing with severe depression right now, I feel like a total failure in life. I’m terrified of turning 40 and being in this situation. I panic about getting older and not living happily, getting wrinkles, dying alone with no money, etc.. I don’t even want to socialize because I’m embarrassed about screwing my entire life up. I went back on the online dating sites but I don’t even want to meet anyone because I don’t want anyone to know my living or financial situation. I lie about my age at work because I work in the same building as my mom and they all know her , they know that we commute together. Since I look young they assume I’m in my mid to late 20’s and I just let them think it. I know they would judge me, even silently if they knew the truth. I never expected it to be like this. All I do is worry and cry , all day. I feel stuck and it’s the worst feeling. I know this may seem trivial to others as I’m reading the other stories and I know I’m lucky in certain ways. But I failed at life and I don’t want to live like this anymore. It’s terrible and all I want to do is be 25 again so I can fix my mistakes.


someone somewhere October 19, 2016 at 9:18 pm

Reading the first two lines made my eyes tear unwillingly.. Although the rest of it are the things that i’m done with. i’m done with everything in this life. i’m dying every day since i open my eyes till i close them back. when you reach a point in life, where the one you love the most cheats on you, you fall and get up “stronger” then you invest your time in making projects and finally start up your own entreprise.. thinking it’s good to do business and go professional rather than crying all night about the one you loved the most. until some of your sub-managers becomes a cancer to your business and causes it to shut down.. you fall again but yet you stand up leave to another country get back to study some higher degree to make a better resume thinking that one day you can go to one of the top 3 countries and get well ranked position. until you discover that the university that you paid so much money to it.. was nothing but a fraud.. you’d be left with no love, no trust, no job, no education, no dream, no hope. you start to question maybe you’ve just been a coward to end your life. and chosen to stay and “fight” again for this life that it’s obviously doesn’t want you to be part of it… when i was a kid i thought i’m the luckiest person on earth, how did things become so cruel? why me ? :/ this heavy breathing that i’m feeling every night… it hurts so much :/


SARA October 22, 2016 at 1:07 am

Hi there

I’m juste tired of trying and giving to not recept anything can you beleive I am afraid to express it with words that much ,I think that I worth nothing …GOD all i want is a good and healthy work and a calm being life ,I live in such misery and yet i keep on smiling for whom for those have never been with me ..I really feel suffocated please Help


Hamosi October 23, 2016 at 8:03 am

Hi Marthe,
Thanks for your blog. I put ‘feeling stuck’ in google, and luckily your blog was the first thing that came up. Everything you wrote resinated with you, as it seems to have done with many others.

To give you a quick snap shot. I’m from NZ, where my family live, and I live in the UK where my partner lives. I can happily say that I love my family, my country, and my girlfriend with everything I have. The only problem is that they’re on opposite sides of the world and my gf doesn’t want to move. I can see why, moving away from you homeland, friends and family is tough.

I now feel stuck in the middle. I wake up missing home, but I know that if I left, I’d wake up missing my gf. We’ve just found out she’s pregnant too! While I wish I was excited about this, I can’t seem to feel excitement.

She is well and truly sick of my homesickness as I’ve been up and down for 9 months, and she’s had to come along with the ride. She packed a bag and went to her parents last night and asked me to leave as she doesn’t think I can be happy here, and it’s breaking her heart.

I don’t even know if I can myself, so it’s hard to deny what she’s saying and reconcile. I have something deep inside of me that wants to go home, BUT I also have a deep feeling that I’ll be making a mistake because I’ll be leaving the love of my life. My intuition is broken! ha

Anyway, thanks again for your blog.


Ivy November 4, 2016 at 6:20 am

I am really tensed regarding someone. I don’t know how to tackle the situation. I just want to get rid of the situation but I feel now I am unable to do so. That person speaks all sorts of rubbish and nonsense for me and I am not even able to reply back. I feel so bad taht I chose such a person and such a person was the one in my life. Please help me out regarding this.


Robert Farmilo November 7, 2016 at 2:12 am

I am writing an article about codependency and self-responsibility. This is part of a series of articles and videos that I am creating about becoming more self-accountable for our lives. I get to scoot around the internet and research a variety of sources about these subjects. That’s how I came across your article. The advice you give to reach out and get help resonates with me. It can be really horrible staying stuck inside your own squeaky hamster wheel. And what a wonder life can be when you start to find your own way. Thank you for your article.


Christa November 11, 2016 at 4:15 pm

Hi! I’m 21 years and it’s my 3rd year in college. I have two more years to go for my Psychology major. I have been exceedingly emotionally and verbally abused by mother my whole life. My father tells me to just accept it because that’s the way my mother was raised and she’s just modeling the behavior that her guardians portrayed to her. She’s told me time and time again that I will never amount to anything, no one will love me, I always ruin her day, I will never find a husband, or even “Damn you, Christa!,” etc. I have tried talking to her, but every time, she blows up. I am terrified of my mom and don’t want to go to her for anything. It’s gotten so extreme that I’ve had thoughts of ending my own life. Fortunately, I don’t go through with it. She has never been a mother to me emotionally and now she wants to cut me off financially. I can’t get a job with decent hours because she and my dad doesn’t want my work schedule to affect my grades at school. I met with a school counselor recently and he said that it’d be best if I move out. How would I go about doing that if I can’t work decent hours? How do I get out of here? What do I do?


kirby December 12, 2016 at 7:00 am

Hi!I don’t know if by the time i’m replying,you would have found the answer to your problem or not But in case you didn’t ,here it goes..Since you’re 21 and already in the third year of your college,i would suggest to please go ahead and finish your education first with good grades.That will help you in securing your dream job n it’ll pay you more than if you rush now with unfinished education plus your grades will suffer too,which i don’t think will be a good idea!After you finish college n pick up a good job,you’ll be free to move out if that’s what you want,and for what its worth please dont ever think of taking your life!Life is precious,it can be extremely hard sometimes and it might be enticing at that moment as an easy way out but its never the solution!I wish you all the best for your future..Let me know if it helps


Sue November 14, 2016 at 5:11 am

I’m 70 years old, totally stuck, trying to cope with breaking up with a Narcissist, doing a part-time job which in a way isn’t enthusing me but at 70 I know I am lucky to have it. I have lost energy and need to loose weight. I have never been this pathetic, I know I should focus on my health first – ie lose weight but I just don’t seem to find the energy. I have had some counselling but have learnt nothing new, I have read inspiring books by inspiring people but for the first time in my life I feel I don’t belong anywhere. I have been stuck for 12 – 18 months and made some inroads, but since the break with my partner (3 months) and although I know it is not an option to take him back, I spend time watching TV, eating more than I should, and cry at the drop of a hat – HELP……this is not me – an innovative, successful person in my own way who does different things and who people approach to help them – Guess I need a boot up the proverbial……….


29palms November 25, 2016 at 5:53 am

Hi, I am stuck in a bed after multiple injuries from auto accidents, falls, and ME/CFS?SEID. It’s been ten years. I miss my life. It is too painful to walk, stand or sit. Laying on one side is the best I can do. For a few moments per day, I can endure quick ADLs. My husband is a loving caregiver but he is becoming more forgetful and agitated. We are thousands of miles from family. I have one arm and one leg that sort of work ok. Even my vision is going. Every body system is malfunctioning. I learned to create art while in bed, and send them to people less fortunate than I am after I watch the news or for friends, family, former workmates or others that I know are going through tough times. I am searching for more ways to cope with this situation. I cry when the pain is greater than 7/10, pray each day, several times when it’s bad, and when my good hand is working, I create and mail things to others. What other support systems can I reach out to?


Nat December 3, 2016 at 9:46 pm

Hi! I’m Natalie 25 and married. I knew my husband 20 years my senior had drug problems before I got with him but he’s really made it a habit to go behind my back and lie about it. He recently picked up crack and went crazy so I put him in a hospital. He’s since committed to change and is the perfect white collar, optimistic, altruistic husband I married… Until last night he did it again. I just found out he’s had pedophilia in his past, too, and here I am without a car of my own in a city across the state from my family, with really no money and school to finish. I’m disgusted. Thank you for your article.


Shashank December 15, 2016 at 6:42 pm

How can I possibly make a decision between 2 things . Also iam running out of time just have nearly negligible time . Should I take the dicision that everyone took??😢 Please answer as soon as possible.


sarah December 16, 2016 at 4:11 pm

My dad lives abroad to make money for us. We have a lot of debts and loans to pay off and we are very poor. 2 years back, my dad was arrested and ever since then me and my mom are barely breathing. We have have to beg money from other people to live. Yesterday the 2years statement ended and my dads visa was cancelled. He has to come back here within a month. He cannot earn money here as our country only has jobs for very educated people. So what are we going to do now? How to settle our debts? How to carry on with my education? I dont know. Try to please help me out. Thank you.


Vandee January 2, 2017 at 5:17 am

It seems like I already know the answer, but at the same time, I think it might just be anxiety. I have always been a terribly anxious person. I work in the adult industry in a relatively safe and well-paying job. But I feel ashamed about what I do and I can’t figure it out. I have no moral or religious apprehensions about the industry. While quite anxious, I am the opposite of shy. Counterphobic, my therapist says. People are nothing but gracious in their compliments when I work. No one cuts me down or makes me feel bad about it, and still I do…. Thoughts?


RK January 6, 2017 at 8:29 pm

I feel stuck with life. I am 33 ys. Married to a great hubby, have 3 kids ages 6-15 – one is special needs. Hubby has a decent job $80,000 yr. I’m a stay at home homeschooling mom. Both hubby and I are extreamly private ppl and have no friends. My kids have no friends either. Hubby was an only child and I was never close to my family. We both want change… we are sick and tired of our life, but don’t know what to do. Neither of us has a college degree, and hubby feels that his jobs pay is the best he’ll ever get, so doesn’t want to give it up. We both hate Indiana winters. I would like to move someplace by the ocean or outwest…. I’d love small town living, but hubby doesn’t think he could find a job. We have 6 acres of land in the country now and owe no debt, but our house and vehicles combined are only worth $200,000. So it doesn’t give us much to live on for moving a family of five. We feel like we are stuck living this life because this is my hubby’s job. (He cannot transfer). Life feels so stagnant. I hate waking up everyday to this same old unfulfilled life, that I have been living for the last 12 years. It seems there is no way out.


Natlie Pitt January 18, 2017 at 9:42 am

Hello RK,

Reading your message is like reading a paragraph of my own life. Three beautiful children, a great husband yet, feeling unfulfilled. I currently live in California, and I understand the need to want to explore the unknown (life out west or by the Ocean). RK, it sounds like you have a wonderful life. Your husband is so right about his career-the fact that he’s doing so well. In some cases, it’s possible to find employment based on one’s experience (where your income potential is based solely on experience and not education, but that’s hardly the case out west) In my situation, I’m the one employed and my husband stays at home with our 3 children (2 of our children are twins) My husband has a head injury and lost his income when we got married. I wanted change, because I want to move to San Francisco, where it’s a lot more expensive-and the way it seems right now, it’s almost impossible. But I did something different. I’m writing myself out of the situation. I wrote a novel and I’m writing my second. My first novel has been accepted for publication and is being considered for a movie. Don’t give up. You don’t need a college education to make it. You can bring change to yourself from where ever you are in the world. Don’t go toward the change(by moving out west, bring it to yourself). You are doing an awesome job. Do something even more amazing by reaching for your goals from right where you are.


Joel January 13, 2017 at 12:37 am

Hello, I am a single father raising a son I am stuck seriously I have been out of work since January 17 with no income at all. I am about $5,000 short of being homeless because of lack of work. If there is anybody who can help me I and my son would greatly appreciate it.


Natlie January 18, 2017 at 10:00 am

Hi Joel,

I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. It truly breaks my heart. As a first option,have you heard of Gofundme.com. There you can request the assistance of the public. Friends, family and complete strangers can make monetary donations to you. This is a very successful tool and has been to hundreds of thousands of families.

Option 2; Have you reached out to your local social services for help? I know it’s not always fun to ask for assistance, but they can be helpful, they will also give you a hotel voucher to keep you off the street if you do run out of money, they will also give you a debit card to purchase food at any retailer. If that’s absolutely not an option, quickly create an online resume on indeed.com. This is a job board that has and automatic apply button that will allow you to apply for thousands of jobs in your industry. The response time is amazing. In the meantime, look for affordable child care for your baby.


Jamie January 19, 2017 at 1:13 am

My life has been one hell of a roller coaster from being an only child to a sole parent who passed away in 2007, where all my friends walked away and it was only me and my two kids going through agoraphobia/anixety disorder, to finding love (or so I thought) and going through domestic violence, having two more children, losing another child and nearly my life in the process to doing a degree in justice…then moved home to my hometown…now what? That is the issue..I have no friends, I have my eldest daughter and two children with me here, my son is still in Australia with my now granddaughter. I can’t seem to land a job and I cannot afford to study ..I am yet again at a standstill feeling like all the hard work I have done was for nothing. I have now been offered a chance for a long time rental back in Australia do I stay or do I go? Who knows. Decisions so far have been my detriment so scared to make one. I don’t want to keep making huge mistakes and I don’t want to be anything more than my authentic self…. what that is I struggle to know. I do know that my gut tightens when I have to do the school run, let alone the thought of full time work away from my kids but how do I achieve a home? A bought one? How do I find work that maybe I could do instead that does not require putting my kids in care as their only parent? Do I do further study and hope for work in the future? I am so very lost and at a stand still and not sure I want to keep doing this uphill battle anymore.


Carolyn January 20, 2017 at 3:31 pm

Hello I came across your website. And the information That you are talking about I have been going through I have been stuck for awhile. I want to be happy and stabilty in my life … And trying to make some big changes in my life.. get my life back . Will I lost my job out of state Doing the bad economy Came back home to take care of my dad And all i could find for work was temp and caregiving Right now Which have been paid jobs .My story is I am Live in Caregiver to my sister mother law And at the time I decided to do this job. I was without a place to live .Because i was a caregiver to a lady that passed And fininacilly I couldn’tmove where I wanted too . So i move in here But this job has turn into 24 7 is was not supposed to be this way I thought i would be able to find a job And be here at night Because i needed a place to live But the lady Health was going up and down And I been stuck here I have lot of job and work experience And i feel like i lost all my skills I have had jobs that were downsize lost job for the economy Being a caregiver It very stressful job And my dad passed away last year So that has been sad But i did get to spent time with him I glad i was here. I feel like since the past 10 years I have been doing care giving In out of job. Living with people Taking care of love one I feel like i lost myself And what make me happy i feel like this has taken my life Or lived ever else life It can take a toll on you But i know take care of people love one is supposed to be what were supposed to do help people Like you were saying i want to make a change And i want to move out of state I feel like i need out of this situation But i used to be the go getter attitude motivation Was always people person I want me back Your information was very helpful And i will take some of you ideas Because i need to take care of me And get me back Find a job with stabilty And Get my own place Thank you Carolyn


suzel Andrews January 26, 2017 at 1:12 pm

I am 53, a mum of a 14 year old boy and married.
I feel like I get no thanks or respect for what I do.
My son is proving to be quite difficult, very noisy and calling me names and swearing.
He hates were we live and school, I don’t know what to do.
I want to work and do things for me, but not sure how to start. Can u give me any advice? thank you.


sho February 8, 2017 at 5:23 pm

Thanks a lot to give power of inspiration way.
I would like to share with you my simple situation.
Day by day its becoming the worst ,

I have to say I need to develop my life but sometime I thought me wrong.


Zaziwe Ndimeni February 15, 2017 at 10:40 pm

I am desperately looking for a job else but the current company am working for. I have accepted the fact that i have no future with them as they do not see potential in me to up my position. I woke up 2 years ago and been applying for jobs which i have not gotten till today. I have been working 7 years for them and i feel so used up. Its an ongoing struggle to wake up in the morning and work dilligently everyday.


Bart February 25, 2017 at 6:13 pm

Dear Jill,

I am at the bottom, but not yet. I know what I would like, but I think it lays to much pressure on me. I also would like to be as succesful as possible, before the age of 25. I see all those people living amazing lives and telling about them, while being very confident too. It makes me wonder who on earth created me and why. I do not see it, although I could be happy sometimes. But for the most part, my life makes no sense. I have eating problems (I do not like to eat), I am hesitating to much, I am lazy, I am naive and I am full of contradictions, which make it very hard to lead a satisfying life. It appears to me that I might never be fulfilled, because it does not make sense in the end, in my opinion. I experience feelings of loneliness and emptiness (not only because of not-eating) and frustration of being stuck in a miserable life with some positive aspects. How do I get out of it? I simply and frankly do not know.

Yours faithfully,

Bart ,a 20 year old male from the Netherlands


Judith A Julian March 27, 2017 at 3:06 am

Geez, Bart….you sound like a much younger version of me for the most part (I’m definitely not lazy, but I am tired). You’re so young…pick a direction and follow it. If it’s not right, pick another. A secret most older people won’t admit to, is that we often do this our entire lives. Define your own meaning of success, too. Remember, that’s a societal construct so you can form your own. I don’t like eating either. I’m no help there. Best to you!


cher February 27, 2017 at 6:51 pm

You contradict yourself at a certain point: “Deep within you, you know what you need to do” – and then directly on to say “When evaluating different options, it is easy to start with logic and work your way from there. This is not a good approach for decision making.” – As a counselor, I always need to keep in mind how my patient might be interpreting the information I am giving them, and how they might be applying it to themselves. This type of back and forth might confuse them, and most importantly, might push them away from considering me as a credible source.


Nil March 5, 2017 at 12:07 am

I wouldn’t be any better off if I hired a life coach or started going to therapy. The job market and rental market wouldn’t improve, and I’d have even less money, making it even harder for me to live (let alone save up enough to move cities in the unlikely event that that even becomes an option) and making me even more pressed for time.


Nkosinathi March 15, 2017 at 4:01 pm

Good day Madam,
I am one of those people who feel stuck, let me quickly explain my situation.
I have been working as a member of South African National Reserve Force for a period of 5years. Then in 2004 there was a vacancy in Department of Correctional Services for a person who is going to serve as Parole Board member on part time base.My application was successful then I sign the contract for 3 years and after I completed that 3 years, I sign for other 3years.Then on 2011 I decided not to apply for that post any more since I notice that I been not treated well by the uniform members, then the superiors extend my contract up to now. Still on part time basis.I don’t have any benefit like other government employees and all these years I keep on saying to myself things maybe will change, they will make me permanent like other government employees but nothing change.I have got all the sicknesses that are being cause by stress.Everyday I keep on thinking about the years that I wasted in this Department.
So please madam advice me what to do.


LucyStillTries85 March 21, 2017 at 9:30 am

I’m stuck in a bad position. It was easy to get into & I’m trying like hell to escape. Got married at 21 to someone who tricked me. 2 kids later during multiple losses of homes, jobs, off & on years with co-enabled addiction, jail time, losing custody of our oldest, losing my mother & hitting rock bottom after that, I’m stuck way away from public transportation, unemployed, bank account in the negative & wrecking my brain to try to get back up with no friends, no family, just stuck with no way to get out of it. My mind never rests. I’m always searching for a way out, as my husband doesn’t love me or our kids obviously since he won’t even try to look for work while his mother enables him & I’ve begged for help but I guess the abuse is entertaining to the in-laws. I’m glad its no longer physical. More psychological. I have days where I believe things will get better, but more than often I grow hopeless, desperate, even contemplate suicide, but won’t do it. Its extreme. Sometimes I feel like maybe I should just walk off, somebody will pick me up & take me in… Not safe not smart plus our youngest daughter whom we still have custody of would be heartbroken. I’ve let her & her sister down enough over the years by being absent whether it was due to drug binges, weeks in jail or a year away in rehab… I grew up. He didn’t & doesn’t want to. Once again, the in-laws see it all, but none will help. I’m told I’m crazy, that this so called life is ideal… My family disowned me years ago & won’t help me either. Becoming a street walker for cash is illegal, immoral, unsafe, commuting adultery, abandoning my girls. I have no money to get another photo id to apply for jobs, no way to get there. What do I do? I scream on the inside, remain peaceful on the outside as I scramble daily looking online for info to help myself get unstuck… Anybody out there ever been in a situation like this? I’m so scared… Damned if I leave. That’s child abandonment. Damned if I don’t & my kids still suffer. Depression’s a b….. I try not to be one as a woman but all b…… aren’t women. Men can be & are also. Well, not all men I’m sure. Maybe just the one I’m married to… Enough of my ranting. I apologize for my tone, but thanks for letting me vent. I’m just wondering though… Is there anyone out there like me who has been in a situation like this & made it out alive?


Judith A Julian March 27, 2017 at 3:00 am

I’m rather late finding this, but in case anyone is still here: I am 49. I lost both of my parents 3 years ago. I was their sole caretaker during their 2-3 battles with cancer and basically let everything financial in my life go during that time. My only sister, who’s 12 years older, has had major jealousy issues with me for years. She stopped speaking to me, mom, and dad until the last year of their lives. She showed up about once a week, leaving me with everything. After they died, we were apposed to move to WA together (I’m now so glad that didn’t happen). She needed to sell her house for us to make that move, only neglected to mention she’d been foreclosed on, so no sale. No move. I got stuck with her, at her house, because I agreed to sell our parents home (mom left that decision to me, which my sister never knew about). Had I known this would happen I would’ve kept it. Now, my car blew up (worthless and no money to repair it, someone shot my retired horse I’d had for 13 years which killed him, and 2 weeks later my sister picked a huge fight with me and told me I had 30 days to get out of the house. I have a beautiful German Shepherd named Max who is my ESA dog, so I can’t/won’t go anywhere he can’t go. I’d die without him. No car, about to be homeless, no credit, still grieving for my horse… yeah, I have a great therapist. But I also have poor credit from those years with my parents and everything since has been in my sister’s name (which I helped pay for and now she has awesome credit). I see no solution here, other than the street for me and my Max. So far, I’ve figured out keeping my job…but I can’t focus well. I’m tired and I’m out of strong.


PJ April 7, 2017 at 10:40 am

Hello seems a good place to start, thanks for the site, this may not make any seance, I’m almost 60 you’d think I have more sense by now than to give my Love out only to get back this overwhelming feeling of loss, i feel so lost, the world means nothing, nothing means nothing, I know killing my self makes no sense but at the same time why not, in the long run, I’d not be mist, no one relies on me, I use to live on that, as a carpenter and joiner yes the money was good but it meant more to hear ”Thank you that’s great” type of thing. in the last 20 years I’ve lost so many Loved ones, what for? ”Why” the other day my Love of 7 years told me shes going , not coming back its over, no resaone just feels feed up, shes made at every one and no one, At the end of the day if it brings her happiness that’s so good, but we had such a strong Loving friendship first and most, now nothing, I know I should just get up and live life, but I can’t see any point, yes I can see money is a big thing although she says its not but I’m living of disability and trying to get a car on the road as I need one to get around, all this takes money, and I would not mind but this June was going to see a big change as my car would be on the road which means more money which means going out living life, I got up this morning came down stairs and felt as if the world has gone away and lift me behide, the feeling of loses is so strong I just want Nell to come home, Like on the end of a film i seen once I feel like saying, ”IS THERE ANY ONE WHERE” cant stop the tears which want to say inside..


Myriam April 10, 2017 at 5:26 pm

Im struggling and I found that what you said at the begining of this about your body beinga compass is true. I have spent amny many years in a dysfunctional marriage with two children (one with complex needs). My marraige has ended and now my ex husband has a girlfriend, so im finding this hard. My family that I grew up with was dysfunctional and there was lots of abuse and I escaped this. Now that my 20 year long marraige has collapsed, I feel displaced. Im particularly emotional at the moment because there’s a new woman on the scne. I dont wish him ill as he needs to move on, but I feel jelous because I have no-one. I resent being left with a disabled young person to look after and I want a life for me.


Tara April 12, 2017 at 6:24 am

Hello, I’m not sure where to start and I don’t know if I will find answers, but I want to try. My issues are very simple, yet there is much in my way I can’t see over it all. I have a very bad back ever since I had my second child, who is now 6. I have trouble dealing with the pain and I have trouble doing almost anything physical because it worsens the pain immensely. So there are many moments that I just avoid it from fear of the pain. I have 2 children. My Daughter is 11, and my Son will be 7 in less than 5 months. Being a parent is demanding and maintaining a household that runs efficiently is exhausting in itself. When you add in horrid back pain and did I mention my migraines, and my muscle disease that causes pain as well, and the fact that I catch every flu, cold and infection that passes through my household?, It all causes endless buildup of never-ending work. Laundry, dishes, floors, garbage, cooking, making lunches, baths , showers, all of it builds and builds because I’m lucky to get a week out of a month where I am feeling well enough to tackle everything. However when I have those days I try to get through as much of the mess and responsibilities as I can because I don’t know what I will feel like tomorrow. Once this takes place I have done so much at once that my back puts me out of order afterwards and I get run down and get sick again, and the cycle starts all over. I suffer from Bipolar disorder and Anxiety disorder so when the physical aspects are piled on top I also start to feel guilty for not being productive and I feel like a bad Mother because I rarely am able to make memories with my children. I’m drowning and I’ve already begged my Fiance for help, but he just acts like I’m weak and a complainer and refuses to help. He’ll take out the garbage and run errands, but it stops there. I feel I will never have a normal happy life. I’m scared and feel very alone. I’m completely lost and have tried to look at the issue from all every which way, but without help nothing is going to change. I’m never going to be able to get ahead of the household work to at least the point where I can just continue to maintain. Therefore I will keep getting pain, and sick and then feel guilty and depressed and scared. I am willing and open to any solution. No matter how hard or how confusing. I just want change so I can be happy and so my children have the Mother they deserve. Thank-you for your time. It is appreciated.


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