You can’t change the flow, but you can flow with the change


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You can’t change the ocean.

You can’t make it flow where it doesn’t flow, calm it when it is stormy, or to make surf when there is no wind. You can’t make it any more salty, or less so. You can’t stop the shissshing sound of the water meeting the shore. And you can’t stop the waves from rolling. Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’.

But you can swim. 

You can surf. 

And you can sail. 

It’s hard to swim in huge waves, though. And pretty hard to surf unless there are waves. The last time I checked, it was also hard to sail on a windless day. Unless you have a motor, that is.

You can’t control the ocean, but you can control how you approach it. Swim when the water allows, surf when the waves get high. And get in the boat and sail when you need to go far.

Life is like that too.

You can’t change it, most of the time. You can’t make it calm when it isn’t, and you can’t change it’s course and it’s will.

You can’t control life. 

But you can control how you approach it. 

Rest when the times allow it. Surf when things start to move fast. Sail through life, as much as you can, but make sure you sail in the direction the winds are blowing. There is no need to spend your life swimming against the current if you can sail with it.

The key word is acceptance.

Yes, you absolutely can spend your life making sure the ocean doesn’t erode “your” beach. Yes, you can build dykes and shovel all the dirt you want. Yes, you can add extra sand, and make sure you pour out all the water that flow in when the dykes break in a storm. Yes, you can try to empty the ocean of water.

No one is stopping you.

But why would you want to do that?

Most likely, you won’t have much time then, to really enjoy your life.

Instead of fighting the eternal fight, you can accept the ways of the water and move to a different beach.

And spend your life sunbathing.


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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Christine March 10, 2015 at 4:24 pm

Makes sense. I just wish I can do it. Right now I’m in a stand still when I don’t want to be. Well I’m being pulled in places I don’t want to go. I have no time to do what I want to do. Just overwhelmed and stuck. I feel that my spirit isn’t at peace. I just want to stop all the demands. As a parent the demands are endless. My kids are teens and it still is the same as when they were babies. I think this makes me feel tired and I just don’t want to move.


Marthe March 12, 2015 at 8:33 pm

I understand you feel pulled in different directions and you don’t feel like there is room for you to really BE who you are and DO what you want to do. Not a good feeling at all! Know that there are ways out of this, even if you can’t see it yourself. In this situation, it could be good to work with a trusted coach or therapist, or even a close friend that can mirror some of your thinking back to you, and help you see solutions and some gentle steps forward. Sending you a lot of love and compassion, and know that I trust in your ability to grow from this.



Bo March 11, 2015 at 6:13 am

This post reached my eyes at the perfect time. It’s funny how that happens…. :)
Sending good vibes to all



Marthe March 12, 2015 at 9:21 pm

Yes, that happens a lot! :D

Sending good vibes right back at ya!



Paula March 15, 2015 at 5:35 am

<3 Love this. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. Of course, it always comes at the right time :-)


Marthe March 15, 2015 at 1:18 pm

Thank YOU, Paula! :)


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