{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Admila May 26, 2015 at 2:03 am

Loved this!!
I find someone that makes feel we could be good friends but then never talk again. I struggle a lot to bond with people, which always gets me thinking I’m not good enough or that I did something wrong and feeling I have no friends.

There’re lots of people I would love to connect with but don’t now how. Don’t know if it’s me being too shy or something else

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Marthe May 26, 2015 at 12:18 pm

Admila,

how to connect with people once you find them will be my next post in this series. :) I’ve struggled with this too, but lately I’ve made great progress! :)

Love,
Marthe

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Z May 26, 2015 at 1:48 pm

it seems to me that i was braver when i was younger, because even when i was a little bit shy i was always interested in people and friendly. but now, 5 years from highschool, i find myself suspicious and afraid of people, thinking of them as necessary, and i get involve the least i can. It is sad, i didnt think this will happen to me.
the best way to meet people is through your friends! because it is possible you have similar interests. by example, my best friend met her boyfriend, and the boyfriend is the roommate of my other friend. haha pardon my english ;)

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Marthe May 26, 2015 at 3:01 pm

Z,
I think it is very common to get a bit more cautious when we get older, especially if life has been challenging, as we get shaped by our experiences from the past!

And yes, I agree that it is great to meet people through your friends! :D

Love,
Marthe

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Hannah May 26, 2015 at 2:54 pm

A great place to meet people is at a church (of whatever faith). One of the biggest components of “church” is fellowship. Also, any sort of organization or charity…you’ll meet people who care about the same issues as you do! Lastly, sometimes the people at work can end up being really great friends as well. :) Thanks for sharing! Loved this.

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Marthe May 26, 2015 at 3:03 pm

Hannah,

that is a great tip, thank you! :D I don’t have a faith like that, but when I think about it any organisation works like that and I’ve met some great people through the Red Cross and through yoga etc. in the past!

Love,
Marthe

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Helen May 26, 2015 at 3:09 pm

Really brave post…and useful….thank you….am trying to join your Heart Wide Open group but the link appears to be broken (or is it just my computer/internet connection?)

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Marthe May 26, 2015 at 3:14 pm

Thank you, Helen! :) Looking forward to have you in the group! I’m e-mailing you about the link!

Love,
Marthe

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Elena June 1, 2015 at 4:23 pm

I do feel alone too. I do have some good friends but they are far away since i study in kuala lumpur. they are my hometown friends. but here i always feel alone and people around me is just using me when they needed some help from me. i lost my mother last 3 years.. it was painful but bearable since i still have my father. then on the same year my mother passed away i broke up with my first love. then the next year i got into a relationship, it was happy at first but it turned to a love hate relationship. Its hard for me to let go so kept going and keep holding on cuz i love him too much, then this year, i lost my father and its the worst feeling. i love my father the most. losing him made me lose directions in life. I’m the type of person that gets motivation from other people. i can’t do stuff for myself. while still grieving for my loss, i’m still in a up and down relationship and i feel i have no one left and my bf can’t even understand me. but when he treats me good, i feel like i can forget every single problem i have. but whenever we fought i just can’t do anything productive cuz im emotional unstable. i just really need to have a true friend to talk to and understand me.

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Hannah July 4, 2015 at 7:21 pm

I find it hard because as I’m getting older I feel I’m becoming more and more introverted…I love people and my friends but I get really exhausted by lots of plans which never used to affect me. Have you any advice on this? Ps I’d love to be friends with you! Am in the UK if you’re visiting anytime soon! X

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Marthe July 5, 2015 at 2:17 am

Hi Hanna,

my advice would be to investigate, experiment and to plan your social times as well as you can. Investigate if there are certain situations, places or people that drain you more than others. If anything stands out, try to take charge and change that. Suggest a different meeting place, or spend more time with people that make you feel less tired. Also, don’t be afraid to ask your friends for what you need!

I’d love to be friends with you too! I’m currently in the US and Canada for the foreseeable future, but keep your eyes open on the newsletter list, I may be in the UK before you know it! ;)

Marthe

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likeimleavingmyrealname February 23, 2016 at 7:10 am

I know there is no one like myself cause no matter what the place or situation I’m always laughed at, tried meetup.com, long story short, tried joining one group the only one near my area that I though I could belong to turned out didn’t work out, so anyway where can a extremely awkward extremely weird young adult fit in and make like minded people
I’m in Canada

stumbled across this in my online searching for just such

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Conor July 21, 2016 at 5:04 pm

Hi there, I have similar issues and I am in complete solitude recently. The worst thing about life is that someone who could gel perfectly with you are actually probably one block away from you, or even just a few meters. And there’s no way of knowing right there and then but.. I thought of a creative tactic that can work (but is not guaranteed to work out). It’s very hard to do this but it is possible if you are able to let go of the fear caused by ego (we all have it). What you need to do is first analyze how old the person looks, if you can veritably sense that they are a similar standing to you, do this: jog about 3 meters in front of them, turn around, smile, look them in the eyes and say “hi there, Kinda random but I’m looking to meet more people from this city” tell them the simple truth, you have to be aware that these are strangers though, so don’t give away much, just continue by saying “I’m focused on what I do but it would be nice for me to meet more people, we could chat online sometime”, finish by asking if they have skype or email and leave it at that by telling them you have to go somewhere. This is not really something you can do on the go every day. But this approach technique is good for those moments when your electricity and presence matches someone else’s in the moment.

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gavin October 15, 2016 at 3:19 am

hi im 57 and really lonely. not that im a cook or anything, i just havent got it in me to socialise. i like like watching movies, going bush, waterways, rivers, nature drives. but it gets a bit hard sometimes by yourself. am an introvert by nature, but a fairly easygoing guy. anybody around toowoomba like me.

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Hibba April 5, 2017 at 10:29 pm

Hi there Sir, you’re a bit like me even though I’m much younger than you :p but please dont take it personal. You just like me, and I know how it feels

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