What have you always wanted?
Do you remember the post I did on January 3rd? It was basically a list of hopes and dreams for the new year. Since we are already in June, I decided to go back and look at the list again, to see how far I had come. (Which is another story and belongs in a post of its own.) In some areas I have developed so much, while other areas remain untuched. Well, the point is, while I was looking at this list I decided to make another list. (What is it about lists?)
There are so many things I want to do. Some things are just impulses, some dreams are heavily influenced by others and some ideas come from the huge amount of media I consume. However, some desires keep reoccuring, but I'm not doing anything about them. Here is my little list of things I have always wanted to do, but haven't done yet:
- Learn French
- Travel to India
- Learn to develop my photos in a Darkroom
- Learn to play the guitar
- Learn yoga and meditation
- Make a habit out of writing everything down in a journal
- Write a novel
- Submit photos and writing to magazines etc.
- To live in New York
This is just a list of the first things that come into my mind. If I started recording these things, I bet the list would be huge. But that's not the important point here, the point is that these are things that I truly want to do. I've wanted to learn yoga since I was abot 14. And I've wanted to learn french since I first had some french friends in the summer of 2002. The urge to write a novel comes back to me even though I try to push it away.
What I really wonder is why I haven't really commited to do these things yet. I have tried to learn french at school (didn't work out), I have tried to develop my photos (only went there once), I have started two yoga classes (stopped going to the first class and broke my arm before the second one was finished), I have bought about a zillion journals (but never filled one with writing), have written about 25 000 words of a novel (don't really want to finish that piece of crap).
I catch myself trying to excuse why I haven't done these things properly, since I have no doubts about the fact that I really want to accomplish/learn all these things. I think what I really am afraid of is trying one more time. Some of the things I haven't tried at all (like learning to play the guitar and submit photos and writing) are things I don't dare to do because I'm afraid of failing. And at this point I don't even dare dream of moving to New York.
Do you have any thoughts on this? What have you always wanted to do, but not done yet? What is keeping you from doing it?Make your own list and share in the comments!