On Failing, Falling – and The One Practice That Will Save you No Matter What
I've been failing a lot lately.
Failing at keeping deadlines, failing at keeping appointments, failing at keeping my word.
Failing at being positive, failing at staying on track, failing at finishing projects. Failing at replying to e-mail, failing to say the right thing at the right time. Failing at keeping my shit together, failing at living my life the way I want to live it.
Add failing to nourish myself – physically and emotionally. Add failing to taking care of myself – bodily and spiritually. Add failing to be gentle, failing to keep my focus and failing to keep my intense emotions at bay.
It sure adds up to a lot of failure.
To tell the truth, it feels like I'm falling – that my world is falling – that everything keeps on falling.
And yet, no matter how many times, I've experienced over and over again that I do not hit the ground.
Needless to say, this fact fills me with a certain amount of surprise – and sheer awe.
I DO NOT HIT THE GROUND!
No matter how many e-mails that go unanswered, no matter how many projects that never see the light of day – and no matter how many times I say the wrong F-ing thing at the wrong F-ing time; I survive. I survive. I survive.
The sun is still rising and the world is still spinning.
I have managed to land on my feet yet another time.
And here's the good news. So will you.
Fear will try to tell you otherwise. Fear will try to convince you that this time – this time you'll really F*ck it up. This time – everything is different, baby. This time won't be like the rest of times, because this time you will fail and you will mess up everybody else's life and this time you will die and there will be no way back and you will never be alright again and this time you will hit the ground real, real hard.
But Fear is wrong.
There is no ground. And you can't really fail, because there are no rules and the standards you are comparing yourself to are shady – at best.
All you have to do to live right is to keep on living. All you have to do to succeed is to keep on practicing. Keep on lifting your head. Keep climbing back on that horse.
Because life isn't just about avoiding failures and getting your pretty face repeatedly smashed in the ground . Life is about what turns you ON! – and on and on. Life is about getting back UP.
UP, UP, UP.
And life – life isn't about keeping one's feet, but keepin on.