Dear solopreneur, you are more than what you make
Dearest brave solopreneur,
You are so much more than the success of your business.
Although your lawyer and tax accountant may disagree, you are not your business. Business is something you DO – not something you ARE. Your income does not reflect your worth, your talents or your passion. You are so much more than your "about me" page and the size of your list. You are a miraculous human being, divinity, defined.
And I see you, just like that.
I see you behind your polished copy. I see you behind your well hidden overwhelm. I see you behind all that creative energy that in reality is mostly just fear.
I see how hard you are working, and how alone you feel behind your brand.
I know it is hard to admit that things are not going as well as you wished, as fast as you wanted. I know your family and friends are mostly supportive, but that you feel the burden of wanting to prove yourself anyways.
Let me tell you this: you are not alone. And even though you haven't had your breakthrough yet, it doesn't mean you are doing something wrong. Starting your own business and carving out your own path? It isn't easy. Those who are trying to convince you otherwise are just trying to sell you something. Remember that.
There is nothing wrong with you. Success can be random. It can be timing. Often it is about being in the right place at the right time. Just because you haven't made your first six figures doesn't mean that you are less valuable, less good at what you do.
And yet, there is one important factor of success that definitely is within your control: You can choose to not give up. Anything else than that, and your probability of success is on the positive end of the scale.
Make sure you let this truly sink in: It's not an easy path you have chosen. In fact, the paradox that makes it so hard is that part of the collective delusion in the online world seems to be that "it's supposed to be easy – and if it doesn't feel effortless, you're doing it wrong".
Not true at all!
What you are doing is truly admirable, lovely. Not everyone can juggle a start-up online business with an exhausting part-time job – and at the same time grow up, learn how to cook and stay healthy, sustain relationships, heal the past, settle in in a new city – and still find time to sleep. Girl, you are amazing. I hope you see that.
And yet, I hear you when you say that you are not waving, you're drowning. But I hope that even if you can only give yourself a break for one second, it will be what you need in order to come up for air.
Let yourself off of the hook, just for a little while. Your business isn't any more likely to fail, if you take a couple of days off. Take care of yourself, as much as you take care of business.
And while you're at it, I hope you see how much your vulnerability is appreciated. How much we value your honesty about the process. You don't have to pretend here.
If you're not making money. If you've invested way more than you've earned. If you don't have any clients. If your shiny website is up, but your confidence is down. If you're tired. If you have doubts.
You can be open here.
In fact, you are in good company. We will not judge.
No matter what that icky feeling is saying, even if you are not where you wish to be – you are not a fraud. In fact, even by just starting that business, you have achieved more than a lot of people ever will. You followed a dream, you took a great risk. That says more about your character than your bank account ever will.
So don't give up, gorgeous.
Know that your time will come. But for now, maybe give yourself just one little moment of relief from worrying. Breathe. Pat yourself on the back for being so brave and determined. Keep your eyes on the next step ahead – not the destination. And make sure that when you see the ditch in the road of temptation – luring you to think that you and your business is one and the same – know that it's a trap and step over it.
You are an amazing human being.
Just the the way you are – and no matter what you make.